I have been seeing this guy for about three weeks... he has 3 roomates.. all of which he grew up with/went to high school with, now all living together.. there are 2 girls and the 2nd girl has a husband. first girl "A", second "B". B girl is accepting the fact that he is dating me.. but it is all new to her.. she is married.. her husband is accepting.. there doesn't seem to be a problem.. I was suppose to go to the movies tonight with them.. "A" girl said she would not go if I went.. "she says she dislikes me" I have only met these roomates once for dinner.. she doesn't even know me.. says she would feel like a 3rd wheel.. she wont tell him why she doesn't like me.. He tells me they are use to it just being them.. so its something new considering i'm there.. he says he has been the 3rd wheel his whole life.. never really dating.. says it's time for him to be with someone.. how should I feel? what would/should I do or say? Thanks everyone in advance!
2007-01-19 14:37:42 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Is a very large house.. hardly ever see eachother.. but am I right to think they need to like me for me to come over all the time?
2007-01-19 14:38:41 · update #1
does it mean something considering I am the first guy he has ever brought home/meet his friends?
2007-01-19 14:39:34 · update #2
I'm going to guess that girl A is probably just a little freaked out. Maybe she never really believed your boyfriend when he said he was gay or maybe she doesn't want to him to be gay for some reason (maybe she likes him). Also, I think she probably feels uncomfortable with you and him together because otherwise she wouldn't have refused to go to the movies with you. She might just need some time to get used to you and him together or maybe she'll never really accept it. It's about her, not you, so don't freak out too much.
2007-01-19 14:44:35 · answer #1 · answered by The FudgeMaster 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you know that some people dislike other people for absolutely no reason. Maybe there had been like a situation or complication between said "miffed" girl and your boyfriend? Maybe there are all these power dynamics between them that maybe your boyfriend isnt or is aware of, and maybe, she is jealous?
Whatever. Basically, you cannot please all the people all the time. And also, he is your boyfriend, so you're really not going over there to hangout with his housemates are you?
Maybe she is homophobic or something. I mean it shouldnt be a priority for you and infact some people cannot cope it when, the world doesnt evolve around them and they think they are the centre of the universe. The best advice would be to ignore her. I mean, maybe she is really into drama and thrives off it.
And what happens to a person who is not "engaged"? They have no power to throw around and eventually end up feeling like the one left out.
2007-01-19 22:48:35 · answer #2 · answered by Orditz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly...if he knows that she's got some issues, I'd say it's pretty much his issue to worry about. If she's got some homophobia going, he knows to watch out for that. If she's just got some weird trouble with role transitions (her being the 3rd instead of him), it's still her problem and maybe a little bit his. The only thing you need to worry about is being cordial at worst whenever you DO see her.
2007-01-20 22:12:21 · answer #3 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf has created a family by choice. They are not related but they appear to depend on one another for emotional and social support. While this is a great arrangement when you are single it can cause problems when one of them goes outside the family group.
You have to tread very lightly in making time to spend with your bf. It's no good to make him chose between you or the family. Be content that he likes you and spend half the time together at his place and half at yours. For movie dates, at first, plan them for just the two of you.
If his roomies are really supportive and don't have legitimate reasons to dislike you, they will support his relationship.
good luck
2007-01-19 22:46:34 · answer #4 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had the same problem once...i went to a library once i was visiting bangla desh and i think the librarian there didnt accept me very much, i dont know what to do, i was thinking of going to the town hall tower with a rifle and shooting some bangladeshian or committing suicide or something like that
2007-01-19 22:42:55 · answer #5 · answered by whoknows 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, sometimes people just don't like you. It's not your job to make them like you. You just have to accept that not everyone will like you. Sure it's not fair and it might bug you. You have to have a little faith that maybe things will change. But I wouldn't let it make you crazy!!
2007-01-19 22:56:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If "A" girl dislikes you, it is her problem; don't make it your problem and don't let it interfere with with the guy you are seeing.
2007-01-19 22:48:54 · answer #7 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps if you crossdressed this whole thing would be less confusing.
2007-01-19 22:49:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what you do:
Stick a bottle of mustard up her fat keister!
YAY :D
2007-01-19 22:41:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋