Its not finished, hasn't been for awhile...but I might just get around to finishing it if I find it worth my while.
Intro:
We were in her office again. Same office, nothing had changed. Same green plants, same white paint, same dimmed lighting, and same woman behind the desk. Had I changed? I though I was the same last month, she claimed I wasn’t, but I knew I was. No one knew I was two layers, no one knew one was hidden behind the other. No one knew until that one week…which I could not remember.
“Do you remember?” she asked again. I replied to the negative, again. “Do you want to remember?” she asked again. I paused, like I all ways did, and thought about it. Did I want to remember? I repeated the question over and over in my head, I honestly did not know if I wanted to remember. I woke up every night from nightmares of blood, but the dream was a blur, I could not remember. Maybe I didn’t want to. I replied, “I do not know.” As I all ways did.
She sighed, as all ways and let me
2007-01-19 14:31:31 · 11 answers · asked by ? 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
Its great. Keep writing.
2007-01-19 14:45:35 · answer #1 · answered by Ralph 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Who is the female and who is the me. Describe the office and what the dream is actually about from the character's prespective.
You can make it some Psychological thriller and have the therapist end getting in to deep and falling to the paranoid delusions of a tortured soul and killing to protect his or her secret.
The more sensory images (smells, thoughts, sounds, textures, and dialouge) you use the better. But don't use to many in one sentence or paragraph unless it is discussion with the nightmares.
Limit the use of dialouge tags (he said, she said< etc...)
2007-01-26 20:57:54 · answer #2 · answered by deahwest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice, but vary your words a little
Don't say remember so much, and use vivid vocabulary
Otherwise, good job!!!
2007-01-25 23:38:31 · answer #3 · answered by silver rain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finish it! Made me want to know more, that's good enough reason if it draws in the reader right?
2007-01-19 23:46:28 · answer #4 · answered by Caitlin G 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Made me dizzy.
Talking about nothing. Are you writing for Seinfield?
2007-01-19 22:35:02 · answer #5 · answered by holeeycow 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I really think that it can go somewhere. I want to read more of it. Send me more:
yayosetter51@yahoo.com
2007-01-19 22:37:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I love it. I love your style. It's compelling & intriguing. Do finish it - you have a talent.
2007-01-19 23:26:51 · answer #7 · answered by concernedjean 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
its nice email me when you add more to it
fatema_isa_princess@yahoo.com.au
make it more senseable because it made a bit dizzy and didn't understand alot
2007-01-19 23:29:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i really liked it and like everyone else i want you to e-mail me more!!!!!please: nothing999@earthlink.net you have talent
2007-01-25 11:53:59 · answer #9 · answered by ~angie~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it interesting and amazing keep writing more!!
2007-01-27 19:44:17 · answer #10 · answered by ♫ Music is Love ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋