I've been married 17 years and devoted my life to this man and my family.never cheated(cant say the same for him)and always tried to do well for my family. We moved to a place I didnt want to be in the first place and didnt adapt well,but he did. He made single friends and younger family and wanted to go out with his friends and family more than spend time with his own family, Of course I became the b**** and controlling wife,Anyway after a long fighting ordeal he moved out,then after a while of missing him and asking to work things out he came back home to his family,WRONG ANSWER, He came back and basically ignored us sat and watched tv and played video games for two weeks! everyday after work he would go to his families rather than spend time with his own family. After more fighting he siad he was not in love with me any longer and did not want to be here anymore BUT he would stay for the kid. we asked him to leave.
Now he's divorcing me,.My heart wants him still??!!
Why?
2007-01-19 14:28:11 · 13 answers · asked by kountriecat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You want him back because of human nature. You know that you have enough to give someone, and when you are rejected you want to keep trying to convince him. You are wasting your time. Its his loss. Not yours. He was not the best of mates when he had no respect of your vows. You gave all you had to this marriage. Don't think of it as you losing the challenge, you won't when you move on to greener pastures. Always do things that benefit you and your kids. He does not benefit either you and especially the kids. . Move on. I know when I got a divorce I felt like a failure. I self learned. I was not a failure, the marriage was. P.S. Your kids deserve happiness, when mom is not happy they are not either. Do the right thing.
2007-01-19 14:53:33 · answer #1 · answered by hbuckmeister 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
17 years is a long time and your marriage has been like a bad habit that drives you crazy but still you carry on. It is a matter of you wanting to be legitimized as a wife and as a mother. Rejection is difficult for all of us. On the bright side, you and your child have both asked him to leave and this was a brave first step, which is always the hardest make. Some fear has entered your mind that you will not have that warm body near you which at times were comforting to you even though the marriage was dying. Go ahead and cry as we are allowed to cry when we lose something in our lives that was dear to us. In life we live and we die as well as we marry and divorce. Loss is never easy but sometimes it is necessary for us to be able to grow as a person and derive strength from it. Of course, in time your thoughts will remove the idea that your heart still wants him and this is part of the evolution of a persons inner being. Things do not always work out and the saddest thing is to hang on to something that will lower a persons dignity. Good luck to you in this situation and in your future.
2007-01-19 14:47:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You devoted 17 years of your life to him. You supported him by moving to a new place and raising your kids. He has been a part of your life for a long time. It's not easy to let go of your history and you don't know what to do without him. Of course your heart is still going to want him. It's what you have known for the past 17 years.
It is going to be difficult for you because you are not the one who distanced yourself, or the one who wanted a divorce. He is the one who has initiated everything. But you can't hang onto someone who wants out of the marriage. It's not healthy and you can't change his mind.
Move away from him and be with your own friends and family. You will need them to help you get through this difficult time. It may be tough on your kid but it will help you both in the long run.
Be strong and lean on others for support.
2007-01-19 14:39:29 · answer #3 · answered by torn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, it sounds like he has chose his life. I have heard of things like this happening before and he certainly will not like that life very long. I am certain that he will not find a woman worth a darn that will give him the least amount of time. It is such a turn off for a man to leave his family just because he wants to be a young man again. As far as your heart being broke. I wouldn't expect anything else. You deserve to be upset and the best thing to do is let it out. In my opinion, you are in love with him and you can't just turn off love. God Bless!!!!
2007-01-19 15:29:06 · answer #4 · answered by ransdoll90 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are women worth crying over?
2016-03-29 05:34:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you really love him and its hard to understand how he could do this to you. What a slap in the face it is when you give someone the best years of your life and children and they reward you this way. I feel so bad for you. And I am sure you have heard this but you do deserve better and in time you will stop hurting so bad. He just lost out big time because the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence.
2007-01-19 14:43:19 · answer #6 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi its called feelings and love you still have sadly as the years have gorn by hes stoped trying its so hard for you to see things this say but the old saying is " it takes two to make love work" where you dont wanna give up or let go you carnt make him love want need you like them ealy days when i sure love life for you was fun sweet with hubbie, where you know youll allways love him in your heart hes not the same man that you love married who wanted you once im sure . now the time has come for you to be brave strong just for you now im sure the kids help u to ,its your time now be feee find peace within you dont let you hubbie use you hurt you or put you doen anymore thats the past now live for you and for today . work to make your own life happy again, no hes not worth crying over because you should have much better in life and if huubbie wont do that for you then its time to just put you to first now in life and leave hubbie in your past live for today never look back youll be so much happyer for it.
2007-01-19 14:57:45 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want him or are you really afraid of being alone? How much pain are you willing to take for not being alone? It's very tough but it is survivable. After surviving, then you reach OK, then eventually you are better. It can be a long road but don't you and your daughter/son deserve a chance to be happy?! Will staying with him give you that chance for happiness?
I'm sorry there are no easy or quick answers but things that are worthwhile often take effort to achieve.
2007-01-19 14:38:29 · answer #8 · answered by Bruce H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if your very depressed, u made this man your entire life, so when he left u had no idenity. sounds as if he just doesn't have the same feeling's for u, and that no matter what u do his feeling's will not come back, your hurt is caused by your failure to accept things and see them for what they are. accept reality and realiaze u can't control the situataion. failure to give up on something that isn't workable is your problem. got to deal with it, maybe even move away from him, let him go he isn't ever going to make your life happy.
2007-01-20 04:44:53 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because we keep wanting to fix things and sometimes find it hard to realize that there are some thing we can not fix. He is tired of being married and wants the single party life again. let him go and find someone who cares enough about you to become part of your family without all the games.
2007-01-19 14:34:39 · answer #10 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋