How can one overcome rape (the memories of the event) daily?

Question

Some of you had said something about having an understanding companion; however, my husband was my rapist.

You see, when I was sixteen, he raped me many different times. I ended up pregnant as a result. Well, daddy was a deacon at our church and so he made me marry him. My parents signed me away to him because I was too young to sign the marriage papers for myself.

I have been married to him for over 24 years now and our children have grown and we now have grandchildren.

However, sometimes it just seems that once again I'm there and cannot deal with it. How long must I endure?

Answer 1

That's messed up. I'm sorry for you. I cannot believe you've stayed with him that long. How? Please go to your church and talk to your minister.

Answer 2

Look into therapy, support groups, books, etc. Some feminist literature may help you with empowerment which you will need to build. Keep a journal, get some exercise, distract yourself with friends and lean on your family if you can.

Try and find a way to see this experience in a self-growth light: you have learned how dangerous people can be and you have experienced something terrible that will definitely make you stronger in the long run.

Answer 3

You've more than served you time--for a crime that you did not commit.

You raised your children--time to get away from the rapist that fathered them.

To overcome those terrible memories, I would suggest getting out-of-town, seeking counseling, and joining support groups.

It is hard to believe that you were forced into being with this guy after the way he abused you.

Answer 4

You will NEVER forget. But with the right help and the right very loving and understanding companion, you will be able to get on with a normal relationship.

Answer 5

tell yourself that you can and will move on, tell yourself that you are a good person and that you are strong enough to survive, tell a friend when things get bad, and let them comfort you.
keep your self esteem up. make sure to remind yourself that you are going to be ok, and that you are a good person, no matter what happened. let yoursellf have time to do what you want, and dont let anyone pressure you into having a relationship. on the otherhand, having someone you trust is important too.

Answer 6

You never totally get over it. You will always remember any kind of abuse you endured. Therapy and maybe (temporarily) meds will help. Time is the only thing which will really make it fade.

Answer 7

It's sad that you've lived your entire life with that torment. You need to confront that person and let him know how you felt about what he did, how you resent the way he made you feel and obviously still makes you feel. God bless and good luck

Answer 8

it takes time one of my teachers told us about her friend that raped her when she was a teenager. she went to counsling and over came her memorries not intierly but just so she could get on with her life. she toold us how she saw him a year latter and decided to go up to him and you know what she did? she said that she forgave him for what he had done to her and she said after she did that she felt the tention that she didnt realized she had lift off her shoulders.

Answer 9

GO FIND A NICE GUY AND THROW YOUR SELF RIGHT BACK IN TO IT FOR THE GOOD SIDE OF AND AND THE BAD REVEAL IT WAS NOT PERMINATE: ONLY BE READY TO HAVE FUN IN IT AND IT WILL BE FUN BACK AND THE END OF IT WILL CREATE THE BEGINNING OF FUN AND HAPPINESS WILL RESUME

Answer 10

the only way to overcome the tragedy is to seek professional counselig, get your feelings out and validate your feelings, work on your self esteem and overcoming your fear...

Time will eventually help you heal...