what would you do?

Question

a close friend of mine recently reappeared in my circle of friends and i had told my husband that maybe the reason is so she could be a seagat for us, well the next time i speak with her she says that she is prego and going to terminate. i told her what we thought and were willing to do and she agreed to allow us to adopt the baby. now we need to get paperwork signed and if anyone has suggestions on that would help us out but basicly why i am worried is that my husband all the sudden is being very argumenative and wouldn't even speak to her when she was here she had to speak to him and ask about her car (he's mechanic) but its bad and i am considering telling her we are backin out before its too late for her to terminate if she wants and also i am conserned she is drinking and using drugs.

Answer 1

I understand that this is hard for you and can’t give any advice except that you should talk to her and your husband. Voice your concerns with her and with him then sit all of you together. Ask her whether or not she is drinking and doing drugs, if she did it a few times there is little chance that it will have effect on a baby. Abortion is a radical step to take, weigh all the pros and cons. I was always pro choice but after having my baby I realized that from the first weeks they are already humans. She could give the baby for adoption or you could change your mind later. A tiny bundle once you see it can change every ones opinions.
There is a website that has pictures of babies whose mothers decided that they do not want them to live, it is horrible, and if she is past a month weight the possibility and think how much you want a baby and trust me you will love him/her no matter what. your husband will love him/her too, men change once they see babies and understand that they are responsible for them.
http://www.godofmercy.com/Special_Studies/Abortion/Abortion_Gallery.htm

Answer 2

Using drugs or alcohol I would definitely terminate the idea.

If your husband is hesitant, ask him why. If you want to be a parent, you and your hubby need to have open and good communication skills to raise the kid.

Call the State operator and ask her to connect you with the State agency (or could be county) that handles "independent adoptions." for answers to your question IF you don't want to pay for the quality advise of a lawyer!

But I would make sure the lady with the pregnancy is healthy and not participating in activities including sexual, that could harm a baby's development like Fetal or Drug alcohol syndrome, etc.

And, you know you have to have the father's permission to adopt the baby!!!

Answer 3

Back out now. Right now is when that baby is forming. Drugs and alcohol are soo bad right now. Get out. Don't even worry about your husband. Back out now and let her abort. Otherwise she might find a way to make you pay for the baby and all. Get rid of her as a friend too. Friends don't do that to children. Friends don't treat their friends like that either.

Answer 4

Sounds like you may not be ready to make the commitment. But who is really going to suffer? The baby. I can't tell you what to do it's your decision but if you would back out on the baby now, why would you make a good parent?

Answer 5

You may want to weigh all the options here. If you go through with it you may end up raising an addicted bay alone. Your husband is not too keen on this obviously. And she doesn't sound trust worthy, not someone you want to carry your child.

Answer 6

if you have any reservations, go with your instincts. you and your husband need to protect yourselves. sounds like an odd type of friend you could do without. i would not enter into any adoption situation i was not comfortable with friend or not. this is your life and your heart and you need to protect it first. talk to your husband and see what the issue is. all you can do is what you feel best.

Answer 7

Stick with your gut feelings and let her know in plenty enough time. There is no sense in jerking her or the baby's life around because of indecisiveness. Make up your minds for good and do it fast.

Answer 8

ARE YOU REALLY SURE YOU WANT TO ADOPT A FRIENDS BABY, I WOULDN'T WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE WILL DO WHEN THE BABY COMES INTO THIS WORLD. IF YOU WANT A CHILD ADOPT SOMEONE ELSES CHILD THAT YOU DON'T KNOW. GOOD LUCK. WITH WHAT EVER YOU CHOOSE TO DO.