Oh my GOD!!! help me, how do i tell them?

Question

ok so i took a pg test last week(2 weeks after i had sex) my period was late by a week and i took a pg test and it came bac negative, so i wasnt worried and then my period still hasnt come so i took another test to see if the 1st one was wrong, and theis one came bac positive, so then i took another 1 to see if the 2nd one was correcat and the 3rd test came bac positive, so now i have to tell my gramma and grampa(i live with them) how do i tell them because the only people who know are my friends jasmine and katie and im afraid my gramparents will send me bac to my parents(they are abusive) and i just need to know how to tell them. oh and im 14 and my bf is 15 and he lives in michigan and i live in arizona, what should i do(abortion isnt an option) and how do i tell them?? thanks to those who answer and dont judge me ={
oh and the condom broke.
when i say abusive i mean real bad(read old question titled "how do i stop cutting my self")

to bottoms up: look dude im not lookin for attention ok?? i am just so ***** mad at myself for makin such a mistake and i dont no how to tell my grandparents ok??

well my bf nos and so does his family, and raising a baby wouldnt be hard for me cuz i had to faise my little bro from when he was born till he was 3(hes 3 now) ans still went 2 school, got good grades, and had a job and still managed to take care of him so i CAN raise a baby.

if u have anything else to say you can e-maol me at [e-mail]

Answer 1

Babies are so cute. Your grandparents will love your baby, even if they are a bit angry at you at first for just kind of bringing someone else into the family that they weren't expecting.

You know, we all make mistakes. When you had sex, you weren't doing it with the intention of getting knocked up, but now here you are, and it's a huge life changing kind of thing, but it's not really such a bad thing. A year from now you'll have this great reflective moment as you are snuggled up with your amazing soft cute fat good smelling baby who is asleep at your breast and you'll think "how could I have ever been worried?"

If your parents are abusive, I'd think the last thing your grandparents would do is send you back. No one who loves you enough to care for you like that would be so heartless as to put you back in that situation and throw an innocent baby into it too.

So my answer for you is just tell them honestly and in a positive way "I didn't mean for this to happen, but congratulations on becoming great-grandparents . . ." and if you do face criticism keep calm and throw out phrases like "I know you feel pretty emotional about this, but your criticism is really unneeded and totally unproductive. It happened, we can't turn back time, so here we are!"

Personally, I have to say, having kids was the best mistake I ever made.

Answer 2

I understand were you are coming from even though when I had to tell my family I was pregnant I was 23 but I was not married (though I am now to the father) my parents took it hard. I thought for sure they were not going to love me any more and I told my mother that and she told me that yes she was disappointed with me she would always love me and be there to help me. I am sure your grandparents are going to react the same way but you do have to tell them. Also as regards to the person who told you to use 2 condoms DO NOT that will cause the condoms to brake faster from the fricktion of both rubbing together. Also you can always do open adoption that is where you still are apart of your baby's life but you do not raise them they would have adopted parents. Even some places that do that let you help pick out the parents and you get to have regualer visitation which if you don't want to give up the baby all together that may be a good idea. You are still so young you have to think do you really want to have the resposibiltiy so young to give up friends to be a mom? That is up to you but think about what is best for the child you are now carring. Good luck with what ever you decide to do with the child and you will see your grandparents will be more understanding then you may know.

Answer 3

if you asked last week, I don't know what we can tell you this week.

At 14 eventhough you are an adult, society often does not treat you like an adult. it is diffucult to control your own life.

You need to make decisions now about rasing the child or giving the child up for adoption. Even if YOU make these choises, YOU might not be able to keep them.

YOU might be able to hold the line on abortion or delivering the child, but YOU will have less of a stand of keeping the baby or giving it up.

At least we don't live in an age where it would be thrown off the cliff or you be stoned.

You also need to know how your boyfriend and his parents are reacting...and how much support they are willing to give.

Then SOON! you need to have the scary heart to heart w/ the grandparents.

They will probably not send you back, they sound loving. they might get harsh, but hopefully not abusive.

if your parents or grandparents get abusive .. call the law down on them through social services.

if you get social services involved .. things will get very harsh .. but you will be alive. (spoken from experence .. my brother had to call the law down on our mom.) a court ordered counciler was polite but firm and actually did both of them much good .. and it was eventually ordered that my borther was to go to a boarding school or a foster home for two years so that he avoid being killed. My parents chose the boarding school.

I want to add:
as mentioned above, you will be needing all the support you can get.

a fact is that your grandparents will be raising your child more than you in the first few years. That cannot be helped if you are going to finish school which is strongly recomended.

People like the answer above can give you moral support and support on how to apply for fed and state aid to mothers .. food stamps, medicine, child care.

Perhaps your church or a church you like can help. Often there will be stigma too, but maybe they will help.

also private agencies can help .. "willing partners" helps support 1500 families in rural area where I used to live.

also in all this real life .and things are about to get very real...

. we don't want you cutting yourself or other interesting things .. you now need to live for you and the wee one.

and be extra careful you don't abuse the wee one in your own angst .. you have a history of being abused so you must be careful with children so that YOU don't abuse them.

blessings and good luck.

Answer 4

Just be honest with your grandparents. They will not send you back to live with your rents if they know about the abuse and love you. They will be angry, maybe even scream, but its better for them to find out now then later at the hospital. You need to get prenatal care. Do you have health insurance? If not, some hospitals have programs, and you can always get it through the state. Your options are keeping the baby, or giving it up for adoption. It is a choice you have to make with your grandparents. Tell them straight out. If you cant bring yourself to say it then write them a letter, leave it somewhere they will see it, and let them come to you. I wish you all the best hun. Good luck!

Answer 5

Well I think what you should do is first talk to your grand parents. Just ask them straight up what they would do because I can garuntee you if your going to carry this baby to term your going to need emotional support LITERALLY. Also you kinda screwed yourself over when you and your bf live in two different places. Since he can't be there for you just call him everyonce in a while and tell him how things are going with you and the baby. You are going to have to be honest with youself and your grandparents I'm telling you this straight up from teen to teen ok? Also for future notice when you have sex and you don't want to get pregnant use two condoms instead of one so that incase one breaks theres back up.

Also like the person above me said forget about all those other people who think you should give up the baby or have an abortion (im so against it its right up there with pre-meditated murder in my book) if you need any ventation my email is [e-mail] or try [e-mail] k?
~Ellion

Answer 6

Sit them down and tell them. That is the only thing you can do. I had to tell my Grandma, and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But she said to me, can you take care of the baby? Can you provide for the baby? I was a single mom. I did it, but it was hard. The thing you have to remember is that your grandparents love you and will be there for you no matter their initial reaction. You are 14 though and I was 20. That is a BIG difference. But the main thing is stay in school, make a life for you and your baby. Do not quit. If you do then you will be stuck in dead end jobs, barely making it. Living week to week is really hard. Good luck.

Answer 7

hmm this is a tough situation i m 14 too. best thing is to explain everything to your g parent and say that u made a mistake and ppl do that and ur totally responsible for him or her and they dont have to do anything but accept it and you. and tell them that you cannot stay at your parents if they will want to send you back. you will run away and stay at a homeless home or something. or another option is to go to your bf. maybe he could help you or hosue you if your g parents are kicking you out. i mean he s gotta care about his own baby and his gf. and most of all get it checked with a doctor first before talking to your g parents. get a definite answer cuz pg tests arent always reliable.

I WISH YOU LUCK

Answer 8

Wow, sorry to hear about your situation. Could you talk about it with a counselor at school and then have them sit down with you and your grandparents as you tell them? Also maybe you could consider adoption. Finally, work out a plan with the counselor as to how you will go to school and support your child until you finish high school. Maybe they have a pregnant minor program at your school. Also some schools do have day cares on campus so you can finish school. Finishing school and getting a HS diploma is the first step toward you being able to raise your child.

Answer 9

Well, at this point you have no choice but to tell them. Eventually your belly is going to grow and they will figure it out one way or another.....think about it this way...I am only 22 years old,I have had a lot of friends get pregnant at a young age...16...17...18...so on and so fourth. this has been my experience...

their initial reaction will probably be to put you down, they will be in shock. however, after that initial shock wears down and they are not upset with you anymore, the excitement of a new baby will come and their attitudes will eventually change.If you do get sent back to your parents, you are now old enough to take responsibility for your actions, and will have to start doing that. My advice to you is to STAY IN SCHOOL...NO MATTER WHAT....if you ever take anyones advice in life...please let it be mine to STAY IN SCHOOL....if you decide to keep this baby, you will need to provide for it. The only way that innocent child will be taken care of is if you maek something of yourself.

Why dont you break it to your real parents, first. and let them tell your grandparents(i dont know your relationship with them)..maybe that will be easier....but do remember ..you were adult enough to have sex and get pregnant...you need to be adult enough to tell those who care about you....ps- if they are PHYSICALLY abusive it is now a felony since u are a pregnant woman..remember that!

Answer 10

This is what is going to happen:
1. You will tell your grandparents and they will be SO pissed off.
2. They will cry and then learn to accept what happened.
3. You will discuss options.
4. They will not send you back to your parents because they love you and they will DESPERATELY ensure that both you and your child live a happy, healthy life.