Whether one is "shipwrecked" or just plain "wrecked", perhaps the following words of wisdom might help one stay at or near the surface.
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself lashed to the bar.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.
SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.
SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.
SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.
SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.
SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.
2007-01-19 12:57:47 · 18 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
LOL!!! This is the funniest thing i've read in a long long time. Wish i could print it out because it's a keeper.
2007-01-20 01:35:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In addition to Black + Tans, we've made Black + Reds. That's the Lindemann's Framboise Lambic (raspberry beer) with either Brooklyn Chocolate Stout or Young's Double Chocolate Stout poured on top. The result is a chocolate-raspberry beer that is absolutely amazing, and makes a great dessert beer (also called a YoungBerry if you use the Young's) We've also mixed Blue Point Blueberry Lager with Oatmeal Stout on top, to form a Black and Blue (also called a Blueberry Pancake, because that's what it tastes like) There's nothing wrong with mixing beers, especially when they have 2 flavors that also mix well in the world of food. But they should be 2 very different consistencies, like stout and lager.
2016-05-23 23:08:38 · answer #2 · answered by Joanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
symtom: you hear angry yells & feel a shove on your back
fault: you're in the wrong restroom
action: finish your piss & get out
symptom: your face is stuck in your glass
fault: you're drinking from an almost empty pitcher
action: slurp up the last, and pry it offa your mug so the barmaid can give ya a full one
symptom: yer gal is givin' you a hard, cold shoulder
fault: you've slid to the floor and have your head against someone's knee
action: ask someone to hand ya a bottle to use as leverage...empty it first
2007-01-19 13:31:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am currently drinking beer right now and everthing is at the proper angle, so far !! I am NOT singing anything and the whole family is feeling pretty good about themselves.
2007-01-19 13:06:48 · answer #4 · answered by SUzyQ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Great observances, advice. It gets an 8 for the wisdom.
Peace
&
Luv
2007-01-19 16:39:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Were you following me around last week and taking notes! I usually get the; beer is Crystal clear one!
2007-01-19 13:08:43 · answer #6 · answered by JustLynn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If only I had known... This could have helped tonight.. I'm just back from the pub... Hips !
2007-01-19 13:09:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah great innit , i'l have a ginis lol
2007-01-19 16:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by nicemanvery 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your frankly genius advice has come about 4 hours too late
2007-01-19 13:08:12 · answer #9 · answered by QPRfan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you wrote the story of my life i will copy it down and call it my autobiography
2007-01-19 13:22:51 · answer #10 · answered by top cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋