To actually make plans with me? My husband and I have been married for 8 months..and I don't remember the last time we went out alone...usually we go out with his friends...thats fine and dandy with me..but I want to go out with just him...also he would rather go out with only his friends and sister instead of me... I started planning our 1 year anni trip..and he's like..well lets invite other couples...um....whatever...that takes away the entire meaning of the trip...is this normal? What should I do? And what is wrong with men!?
2007-01-19 12:41:03 · 13 answers · asked by mizzms 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him, "Well, no honey, since it is our anniversary, I really want romantic time just for you and I", then negotiate from there. He may be more social than you and think a crowd makes it all more fun. Tell him how you feel. Say, "Are you KIDDING???" Tell him a group date for your anniversary is not your idea of a good time. Tell him what YOU like, then negotiate somewhere in the middle. I assume he loves you and wants you to be happy and you love him and want him to be happy, so lets work toward that goal.
As for you two not being out alone, that is so over. Plan a date. Tell him on Tuesday that you're planning for you and he to do such and such this coming Sat. and not to invite anyone. Don't pout, don't whine, don't withhold affection and all that crap -- just be straight with the man you love and tell him what you need and exactly how you need it. He will be glad to have you and this will be easily worked through. Tell him very clearly with words he can easily understand. Draw him a picture, but let him know that alone time for your marriage is a good thing and he needs to get with the program so his wife is feeling loved. Simple as that.
2007-01-19 12:52:33 · answer #1 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is not normal ... have you told him that you can't remember the last time you went out alone? How you approach him will make all the difference in the world. Before you do this, practice taking all of the strength, all of the anger out of your voice. Try soft, weak, concerned, and broken and sincere. Weakness is huge. If you can show weakness, not strength, like you are almost expecting to be crushed, he should see it in your eyes and feel it in your voice .... and if you really expose yourself like this to pain ... and he STILL doesn't get it, your marriage will need many prayers.
2007-01-19 20:52:47 · answer #2 · answered by galileojoe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No this is not normal. It's o.k. to go out with friends but not all of the time. Talk to him and let him know that you all need "Q T" time together. Ask him why does he like to drag other people with you all all of the time. Explain to him that you like going out with his friends but not all of the time. Ask him what he wants to do just the two of you and go from there. No other couples need to go with you all on your 1 year anniversary celebration.
Q T mean quiet time.
2007-01-19 20:51:47 · answer #3 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it wouldn't kill him to go somewhere alone with you.
As for the anniversary outing, any number more than two is NOT o.k.
What is wrong with him, or men in general? Honey, there isn't enough time or space for me to answer that one entirely. It's actually not about being wrong, as much as it's about being clueless most of the time.
2007-01-19 21:03:01 · answer #4 · answered by domesticgoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if he may be bored in the relationship. I was doing the same thing to my wife a few months back and we went to a profesional to seek help. He may want to go out with others or in a group setting because he may feel as if he needs to be more socially active, or he just feels insecure about himself.
I was told that women like to go out more in groups, but not all the time.
Do this, make plans to go out, tell im that it will be a group, go to a nice resaurant, then tell him that the others cancelled and that you will be alone. then when you get home make it up to him somehow........
2007-01-19 20:50:12 · answer #5 · answered by SWT 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's not right, you both need to have quality time alone, and what he's doing isn't right. He needs to think about you and your feelings. I think you need to talk with him and tell him how you feel. I know if I did what he's doing, it would really upset my wife. I hope that things turn around for you both soon.
Take care and God Bless
2007-01-19 20:50:11 · answer #6 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he could be getting a little bored, hence wanting to invite other couples. you could give him a list of things you would like to do, and then give him a timeframe. then maybe he would plan. men are so simple
2007-01-19 20:51:25 · answer #7 · answered by *never give up* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, tell him you want to go out with him alone.
And also take the trip alone with him. Just talk and see what happens.
2007-01-19 20:46:44 · answer #8 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Their brains don't work the same way yours works. He needs to be taught to romance his woman. You could teach him and he might even appreciate it. It will take a bit of courage and forebearance--with a healthy dose of gentleness.
2007-01-19 20:46:46 · answer #9 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah...some guys just get selfish, but not usually that fast! You really need to talk to him though.
2007-01-19 20:56:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋