Is it a horrible idea to get married right after high school????

Question

my boyfriend and i are thinking about getting married. and he's actually proposed, and i gladly accepted. My boyfriend and I love each other very much! and when i told my mother about this, she totally freaked out and said that I would ruin my life if married him when i'd turn 18 which is gonna be in less than a year.
is it such a bad like my mother says?? I really do love him, but i don't want to ruin my future if i marry him. I know he's gonna make a great husband and father to our kids (in the future), but i can't help but ignore what my mother told me.
So is it a bad idea to get married right after high school???

ok, my boyfriend is 22 and he's gone to University for 4 years and he's graduated and he's been working.

Answer 1

I married when I was 18 , been married for 12 years , did not ruin my life........But I highly recommend you wait

Answer 2

I think it all has to do with age. You and your partner both will go through a lot of changes in your early years. Whats the hurry ? you are both young. You can still love each other with out getting married. Take your time. You probably feel like things will never change between you and you might be right. Only time will tell. Take your time and see what develops. How many boy friends have you had? I think you should wait. That's what I told my daughter how got married at 18 and is now going through a divorce after having a baby girl. I feel sorry for my son in law. He is a good guy. My daughter had 1 boy friend from age 14 and was sure he was the one. You need to play the field a little first.

Answer 3

It's not horrible, but you really should wait. You're so young, with so much of life ahead of you. Wait until after college, if it's true love it will endure the test of time. You need to see what the real world is like before you tie yourself down. Marriage can be wonderful. Just have a long engagement, there isn't any rush. Save some money so you all can buy a home and start yourselves off right, hopefully being financially secure. You didn't say how old your b/f was. Do either of you have jobs? Listen to your mom, she is only wanting the best for you, she isn't out to ruin your happiness. Trust me on this one. If he's a great guy, he'll still be a great guy when you're out of school and working. Good luck!

Answer 4

Bad, no. Unwise, perhaps.

Your reason for wanting to get married is "[we] love each other very much." Well, hate to break it to you, but marriage takes a whole lot more than just love to work out.
Are you financially able to support yourselves? Most people right out of high school are not.
Would you be ready for a surprise pregnancy? With sexual intercourse, there is always the risk. Would this end your chances of going to college/other higher ed.?

Also, you need to consider your goals for your life. Don't miss out on going to college -- if you two are really committed, then two, three, four more years will seem so short in the long run.

Immediately after high school, people go through a lot of changes and make a lot of life-altering decisions. I won't say that this isn't the person that you should be with, but that you should be prepared for these changes, aware of them, and understand that life isn't going to always be rosy. If you're Christian, I'd recommend reading James Dobson's "Life on the Edge" if you want a good idea about what sort of things you'll be going through during this time from a Christian perspective. He gives a lot of really accurate and useful insights.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Girl, this is another great question! One girls and guys should read over and over. Kudos to you!!!! My advice is not as freaked out as your Mothers but, it's similar. Love is great! However, to really love you must prove your love. For a guy, it's to go the extra mile and get a job that will be there through hard times. Listen, most marriages fail because of finances. Love alone just won't do it! In fact if you look at Websters dictionary "LOVE" is classified as a verb. It's an action! Something that you do! If you really want to make this relationship work, get a career. Go to school! You don't need a degree, those are worthless unless you go for a doctorate. Get into an associate program, like nursing. Once you have a career locked in get hitched!!! Nothing to stop you now!

Answer 6

I got married right after I graduated. Though I have now been married almost 10yrs. I have been with the same person 15yrs. We have had our ups and downs as all marriages. Yet we didn't have very good financial set up before jumping into this. We struggled for several years as young couple. We didn't have a home that was our own and struggled paying rent. Then we had children. This become a huge responsibility. It will happen for you as well. If I could do it over, I would wait until I had a strong foundation and stability in my life as well as financially. I would wait dear and give yourself more time to discover what you want. Yes maybe you want to be with him from 5yrs from now but at least you both will be set up financially and know without a doubt you are certainly ready for marriage and family. If he loves you, he will be willing to wait and give yourselves both time. If he rushes it, then he doesnt respect your decisions as well. You will do much better if you wait. I hope and wish the best for you. Listen it could work out great for you but with time and clear thoughts it will be even greater!

Answer 7

It is a TERRIBLE idea. I know that you believe that you're all grown up and experienced, and wise. But unfortunately -- you don't know squat.
The first few years after high-school should be all about getting to know who you really are - and NO, you DON'T know that yet!! I'm sure that you and your boyfriend care about each other a great deal, but the truth is, you'll both be better off if you experience life for a while before you make that kind of committment. Maybe you will end up getting married, but you're relationship will be stronger if you don't have to look back and wonder: "What might it have been like?"

Answer 8

Marriage is a responsibility that two people have to make
to one another for the rest of their lives, so preparation
and lots of thinking has to take place and these two de-
finately takes time. You might think that each of you loves
the other very much, but you and him have not been put
in a position to continuously test that and that test is
marriage, and that is why you do not want to rush into it.
Give yourselves some time to think it over , plan it, dis-
cuss it, get advise, give it time, and after all that if you
both feel the same then think about going ahead. When
two people marry it is a committment that both parties
have to make for the rest of their lives for better or for
worse, and that's not easy as sometimes one does but
the other does not.

Answer 9

yes it is a bad idea, need to get an education, have a good job, have a home, and money to pay for the things needed in life that make us confortable. once the children begin to come it may be too late for college. can't even think of marriage until we can fully take care of ourselves first. shouldn't get married before u have had a chance to experience more things in life. just don't be in such a hurry, if u love one another the marriage can wait till u both get finished with college, and have enough money. as love can't survive with no money, have to plan life with the future in mind, sometimes we have to delay the gratification and be patient, until we mature fully.

Answer 10

I'm a straight white guy, ok? No, its not that bad an idea, you'll have your children raised by the time your in your mid 30s. Then you'll have half your life to do anything you like. There's nothing wrong with getting married. Its just that everyone wants to treat you like a race-car nowdays, go to college and compete for the money. Well, news flash, competition over capital gain drives people to commit suicide. Its better to be happy and have a beautiful life than to be rich. Ice tea in the shade?

Answer 11

If you are ready to get married then do it! I got married at 17 and we have been together for 10 years happily. Every once in while I think it would have been nice to be single and party with my friends in college or have a little space to myself but I would never change my decision on getting married when I did. Your mom is just worried you won't do what you should do and better yourself, that happens a lot when you rely on a man that early. YOu should make sure you do what is right for yourself and your future and prove your mom wrong. Show her you are mature and ready to do what is necessary to live a good life. Good luck!