and then as soon as he is committed to me, I lose my interest or develop a seeming distaste for the very same person I was just passionate about getting into my life??
Possible theories/explanations, anyone...?
Am I like, chosing wrong, or for the wrong reasons, or do I have a fear of relationships--- what is going on?!
I have a history if this exact pattern but I can't control it because I dont understand it....!
2007-01-19 11:26:59 · 6 answers · asked by Yentl 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I am a female.
I was abused by my father, and he abandoned the family when I was 12- havent seen him since.
2007-01-19 11:42:20 · update #1
Maybe it's a deep rooted self esteem issue. Do you somewhere deep inside feel like YOU aren't worth loving? On the outside, you want sauces and love, but when you find it do you think it's too hard to keep? Do you maybe feel like nobody could possibly be that great and it's all a lie?
All of these examples are rooted in your self esteem, if any of them sounds true try speaking honestly and openly with the person you most trust. Sometimes just addressing the issue and talking through it gives you the answer.
Best of luck hun.
2007-01-19 11:40:29 · answer #1 · answered by peppersagooddog 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you need to consider why you are interested in the person in the fist place. Was it the thrill of the challenge? Have you ever sat down and written the characteristics you would like to have in a partner? If you're certain of what you want, you would be content with it when you got it, but if you don't have a clue of what you really want in a partner, how can you be satisfied when you get it?
Relationships need to grow and develop into different stages of awareness and understanding, and you aren't letting yours get off the ground before you're off to your next conquest. Maybe you need to know yourself better before you look for someone else because you wouldn't want to be hurt the way I'm sure you're hurting the person who decides they want to have a relationship with you. good luck
2007-01-19 19:44:50 · answer #2 · answered by annie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an intuitor extravert who fritters life away on a series of possibilities? You simply haven't found the one who feels just right and instead operate on illusions which quickly evaporate when reality sets in? You vacillate between a need for intimacy and a fear of entrapment? You are ambivalent by nature? And if you are a man pairing with a man, then a whole other set of issues need to be considered...
2007-01-19 19:35:09 · answer #3 · answered by SIGGY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you are associating men with a symbol or image rather than seeing them as real people. When real intimacy with a real person happens then the associations fall through and you are stuck with reality.
If you have to work hard to get a good man's interest then you are not being yourself. You are putting up a facade which will eventually fall through. You are too dependent to be happy when you are alone and some men will prey on that. Real men will avoid you.
2007-01-19 19:55:22 · answer #4 · answered by Russell W 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try getting the answer from someone like psychologist. You probably were dumped badly by someone you loved in infancy and dont remember the incident clearly. And you choose right by that effect each and every time. It has to be painfull and you need not punish yourself like that. Life is too short and someday you wont be able to get love. So get help.
2007-01-19 19:36:25 · answer #5 · answered by JORGE N 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its the thrill of the hunt. the need to stalk. the joy of success. then on to the next one.
2007-01-19 19:35:39 · answer #6 · answered by just1more 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋