My son's father and I share custody and I want full custody because my son does not want to go to his house anymore on the weekends. He also is a truck driver so he is not always home on his weekends. He is married so his wife would pick my son up but he doesn't like her. Now the father is saying that he is getting a divorce and doesn't know about his weekends when he's not here in town. The father is still living with his wife until other arrangements are made. What can I do to help my son? He's 11 and will turn 12 in October.
2007-01-19 11:05:31 · 8 answers · asked by stacey m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok - you have a few issues in this question. First - the issue of "custody." I think you are talking about the actual time your son has to spend with his father - that is physical custody. The other side is "legal" custody and that is the right to participate in major decisions, see school records, etc. What I think you don't understand is even if you had "full [physical] custody" your ex would still get visitation/parenting time with his son.
I understand that as kids get older the whole "weekend visitation" set up gets more and more difficult for them. THey want to spend time with their friends - not at their dad's house with their step-mom. What you need to do is sit and talk with your ex - maybe with the help of a mediator - and work out a plan that you think would be more beneficial for your son. Maybe they can just plan to have dinner together 5 times a month when dad is in town. Or maybe it can be an every other weekend. Be creative. Think about what is best for your son. One of the things that is best for him is keeping a relationship with his dad during these teenage years. You definately don't want to ruin his chances of having a healthy relationship with him in the future.
2007-01-19 17:47:10 · answer #1 · answered by CV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What custody do you share . . . legal or physical custody? Unless you are in a really backward state, the likelihood that the court will deny the father visitation rights. In fact, whether or not your son wants to go with his dad may not be an issue. You may be forced by court order to help encourage you son to visit his dad. Courts are VERY reluctant to cut off visitation unless there is a very, very serious reason why this would be "in the best interest of the child". Most courts nationwide find it is in the best interest of the child to "know" and develop a relationship with both parents. Your husband will likely get an attorney and seek modification of his rights to visitation.
2007-01-19 11:39:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
fortunately it helps that your son is 12, the courts will atleast consider his wants now, not just his needs. and it sounds like you can very well prove his father isn't providing a stable living arrangement. he may love his son and aslong as he has a job and isn't abusesive the courts will not waver visitation. however he may be only allowed to have day visitation, and your son can be spared the sleepovers. but if and when you get full custody dont abuse that power. many times i have heard that the women shut off all contact between child and parent. whether you like it or not your son has to love his father unconditionally, whether you can or not. most teenagers don't have a perfect relationship with their parent. so why does your son get to just decide to "cut off" his father. gee wish i could of done that with my mother when i was an irrational hormonal teenage girl (who thought i had all the answers to the universe!). he needs to accept BOTH parents for who they are. i hope you aren't adding to a natural teen/parent problem by encouraging your son to dislike his father. that would be ashame. but from what you posted this is more of an issue about your ex providing consistent visitations, which he hasn't been able to do so far. GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-19 11:23:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The father needs to terminate his rights OR you need to prove that he's an unfit father.
The courts will look at what's best for the child. And since the child has so far had a relationship with his father, it's not in the child's best interest to discontinue this relationship.
The courts may see fit to grant a temporary change to the custody arrangement until the father can change his living situation.
Not much value will be credited to your son's feelings of just not liking his stepmother.
2007-01-19 11:21:43 · answer #4 · answered by moniquebell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not sound like you need to fight for full custody. It sounds like you need to talk to your ex about changing his visitation schedule. If you two can communicate that will be a great thing for your son. If the Father is not always home on his weekends offer some other time for your son to visit him. If he is married and his current wife has done nothing to harm your child then accept that she is his step parent, lots of kids say what they think their Mom's want to hear. Tell him it is ok for him to be happy spending time with her. If your husband is going thru another divorce this will be hard on your child, united parents are much better for a child to see. Try to work with your ex for the good of your child.
2007-01-19 14:18:31 · answer #5 · answered by ebosgramma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all.
Do not ruin or jeopardize your sons relationship with his father.
There is NO reason for joint custody obviously. Let your son talk to his dad and above all else act like adults and do whats best for your son.
I 've been through this.
2007-01-19 11:11:48 · answer #6 · answered by Natalie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to an attorney that specializes in child custody cases. He will tell you what you need. If your childs dad fights it though you will have to prove why he is not fit to have partial custody.
2007-01-19 11:11:04 · answer #7 · answered by *Photo-op* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call an attorney....don't let your son go through this anymore....good luck
2007-01-19 11:16:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋