I was talking with a good friend of mine about what she wants in her future husband (compared to what I want in my future wife) and of course we talked about the fundamentals of love, devotion, and so on.
One thing that I found upset/disillusioned me though, was that she wouldn't consider a man who wasn't wealthy (or well on his way to being wealthy).
She's in her later 20s, very fashionable in what she does and is very practical, more than romantic. I can understand when she says she would want him to provide for the family and ensure a secure future... but she actually said if everything else was "perfect" and he had no money, she wouldn't want him for her husband.
Any thoughts?
2007-01-19 11:00:59 · 47 answers · asked by Skeeve 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Most interesting responses (and what I fully expected).
Her main line of thinking has been that money can buy the freedom to do/buy what you want... but as far as partners and families are concerned, I could point to a lot of people who are "in financial hardship" and are not "totally happy" but they still go on.. and are somewhat happy...
She has a strong humanitarian streak (she does volunteer work with disabled children) and she sees things like the joy of nature... but when she came out with that "wealthy" statement, I almost fell over.
She's such a lovely girl and is wonderful to know but agreed - I think she will find herself in trouble when her beauty has waned and her health deteriorates. For me, the money is a 'nice to have' but is not a 'must have' criterion.
Thanks for the great response, folks.
2007-01-19 12:00:17 · update #1
I am not going to say a thing that has not already been said. But the reason she does the charity work is to be around those wealthy people. That is her ploy to get that man and she knows that. Your GF is smarter than you think.
2007-01-26 16:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by Jason G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 Why does she need her future husband to be wealthy? So she can be a trophy wife and a soccer mom and wont have to worry about working?
#2 Money isnt everything. You can have all the money in the world and not be happy.
#3 She sounds very high maintenance. Men HATE gold diggers.
#4 Sounds like she just wants someone to take care of her. One day she will realize that its about who the man is on the inside is what counts not what the man is on the outside.
#5 That is real sad that your friend thinks that way.
2007-01-19 11:39:43 · answer #2 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't want a man with no money... There are certain minimal requirements that I have when it comes to men, and being financially successful is one of them. Everything else can't be "perfect" when you're lacking a very important element. Unless you're in a third-world country (where the rules, I admit, are a bit different), it is each person's choice whether to succeed or fail. If someone my age (in their 30s) are not ambitious, intelligent or motivated enough to strive for career and financial success - I would not want this person as my life partner.
There's nothing wrong with being realistic and practical. Starry-eyed romantics are often in for a rude awakening down the road.
2007-01-19 11:16:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, all the women on here saying this woman is a gold digger are wrong. There is nothing wrong with wanting a man who has his proverbial sh*** together. We all know that romance without finance is just a nuisance. I'm not saying a man has to be as rich as Donald Trump but he must have his credit together, a good paying job, a nice home and at least one nice car. You can marry a rich man just as easy as a poor one so why not get what you need, rather than be broke and miserable wondering how you are going to pay your bills all the time? Keep it real.
2007-01-26 09:27:46 · answer #4 · answered by frigginhilarious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you can expect your friend to go through many divorces, too. Some people think that financial security is the only important aspect of marriage. She will learn the hard way. I also think that today's cable shows are somewhat to blame for the insane and vain viewpoints of the very elite, i.e. Real Housewives of Orange County, Desperate Housewives, Fabulous Life of... These are not realistic views. For most people they are only fantasies. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have money and being successful, but if that's the driving force for how your friend picks your spouse, then she's setting herself up for disappointment.
2007-01-19 11:30:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep she is very materialistic and a gold digger as well. She does not fully understand the TRUE meaning of love. He has to have money to provide for home and all her needy ways as well soon as the money runs out she is gone. Not the way to go she is only thinking of what she wants not the love that she will gave gained by being with him. She don't realize that love is key to everyones heart and money is just a necessity it comes and goes just like her husbands will come and go not the way to go. She needs to realize that she will be doing a lot of moving around when the money runs out, it is not about the money cause sooner or later we all will have to leave this world and none of this money is going with us it will still be right here.
2007-01-19 11:17:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This says a lot about her own personality. First of all, she is probably lazy and doesn't have any real aspirations...she is obviously not planning on having a career when she gets older. She wants to go shopping all day long while her husband breaks his back at work. She might be a little disappointed when she does find that rich guy, he will never be able to fill that void in her heart that only true love and affection could fill. It will be an empty life....I pity her. Plus, guys who are rich are usually very cautious about who they date and who they marry, if they can feel that she's after their money then they will avoid her....if I were her I would at least try to hide the fact that I'm a gold digger.
2007-01-19 11:13:30 · answer #7 · answered by Yul'ka 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
About 30 years ago I met a friend of my then g/f at the movies. She was with her soon to be husband. She was a stunning looking girl but as we talked she said the same things. Money was a vital factor in her choice of a man. To cut a long story short, the soon to be hubby bashed her and fleeced her of money she put into buying a house with him. She then had a string of relationships, led to nothing. A few years ago she was going out with a rich doctor and talked of marriage. Then she learned that he was married and she was his bit on the side. She was so blinded by money and social status that she couldn't see anything esle. Now she is a lonley older woman, and a little silly in the head. She was once beautiful and intelligent so your friend might be headed for trouble.
2007-01-27 10:14:45 · answer #8 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not uncommon for alot of women to want a man Fianancially secure. Because as she said alot of couples do fight and split over money difficultys, BUT.... Money can buy peace of mind to a degree, but if there is no Love shared by Both individuals, the relationship would simply be Co Existing together. Alot of people can do with a lot less than they feel they have to have, but Love and Laughter are Priceless..
2007-01-27 07:35:41 · answer #9 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what we say we want in our future spouse, love happens. Chances are with the type of job she has and the people that she'll meet, she'll marry someone with ambition to match her own. There's nothing wrong with what she wants. Women need to feel secure in order to feel loved. If she met up with someone who was not at least on his way to being financially secure, it wouldn't last. Not just because of her ambition, but also because a lot of men have a problem with their wife being more successful. Stop judging her. She's not out to pull an Anna Nicole.
2007-01-19 18:19:46 · answer #10 · answered by Loki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are like that. Is it good that she admits to it? Or is she hoping to be talked out of it? Everyone has their own reasons...
I understand why you'd be upset. But remember, she may change her mind, or discover that she has to change her mind. She knows that poverty isn't practical, but she may discover that wealth has its downsides. (Among other things, there can be a tendency to feel like the wealthier partner "owns" the not so wealthy partner.) Besides, not everyone feels the way she does.
Most females that I know would never, ever go near Donald Trump. (We all know he'll be single again someday...)
For more disillusionment, visit the following website:
2007-01-19 11:11:14 · answer #11 · answered by Jean Talon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋