i broke a friends confidence, was i right in these circumstances?

Question

my friend confided in me that her 14 year old daughter was in relationship with our 24 year old fema;le friend. i found this very distressing and this other woman isnt really a freind of mine but i had a lot of contact through our mutal friend. my friend said there was nothing she could do that it was something they both wanted and she swore me to secrecy, but i told their family about it the next day. the more i thought about it the more it seemed to me this 24 yr old had groomed the 14 yr old. the 24 is always drinking and is a real loser, i never liked her and thought it strange she spent more time with the child rather than themum who she was friends with. all the pieces fitted 2gether eventually and i wa so anoyed with my friend who i love dearly that i told the childs uncle who raised her, he was immediatley alarmed and shared my views. i have not spoken to my friend since for 2 reasons. 1- i am ashamed i broke her confidence 2- i am still annoyed that she let it go on

Answer 1

I have also a time in my past broke a good friend's confidence but for a good reason. I know its not a good feeling to have done this, but in the long run i think you made the right decision. I mean what if you never shared this with the uncle and no one else cared enough to share in her life time and something bad happened, then you would feel horrible right? SO in my eyes, i would rather protect someone and lose them (even if you aren't friends with them), then let something serious go, just to keep someone happy. TO me that would be the best friend or the best creature on earth to really care for someone to put out everything at stake.

Answer 2

Holding the confidences of my friends (young and old) is extremely important to me. But I have a few exceptions:

Suicide. If I know of a friend (or the loved one of a friend) that is contemplating suicide, I will break a confidence.

Harm to others. Somewhat the same thing. If I hear of a plan to harm others, I will speak up.

Danger to children. Your situation fits this category and I think you did the right thing. Your story was not quite clear, but protecting the 14-year old is most important. And, yes, there is something 'rotten in Denmark' if a 24-year old is spending that much time with a young teenager.

You have no reason to hang your head and you are right to annoyed. She should have done something, but you were courageous enough to do it. God Bless...

Answer 3

you in common words ought to do it in case you dont sense an same way. i understand that is going to suck although that is going to in common words be worse in case you wait. believe me in this one, i became in the same situation and that i waited wayyy to lengthy to inform the girl. She became devastated after I did it yet I had to. i became jointly with her for far longer than 3 months. Do it now if thats the way you sense.

Answer 4

kay... who is the child now?
i'm confused.
his parents should be dealing with this themselves, and if they can't deal with it then thier relationship will keep growing.

Answer 5

you did the right thing and there's nothing you can do now but you did what you should have done so don't sweat it.