Why is it that, on a site like this, women are so coarse, but in real life they are so 'coy'?

Question

Well, obviously this question was too ambiguous for most people, so I will refine it slightly.

When I say coarse, I mean that a lot of women appear to be very lewd, as in 'I'd like to suck that' etc. etc. I must stress, I have no problem with this, as such; it just strikes me as odd that women -who are supposed to be very sensitive, gentle creatures- are really on a par with men. It's just that social pressures don't operate online, so there's no need to be the stereotype. I'm now in serious danger of answering my own question, but thanks for the responses :-)

Answer 1

I think it's because the site is fairly anonymous;
Women have a lot of suppressed anger for many reasons; look at women fighting with either a man or another woman- it's very vicious and physical.....a no holds barred sort of thing.
You should hear women on a girls night;
It's because traditionally, we have not had the same outlets for our anger or frustrations as men. We are expected to nurture..
I swear like a trooper when I'm alone in the car;
I can be as coarse as anyone...........it's the anonymity of the whole thing. Our alters egos can emerge in complete safety!!

Answer 2

In part you answered yourself when you wrote > that women - who are SUPPOSED to be sensitive, gentle creatures <

Like yourself, I grew up with the same message, and later discovered that ‘not all women were in receipt of this message' when they were younger.

In essence, it was a myth society passed out to the youth (etc) for controlling purposes ~ and it worked for a long time, on the whole.

The truth is now however out.

It is much a matter of 'degree of the mind' as to whether someone behaves with any sense of decency and of decorum ~ in how they talk and express themselves.

I tend to think that 'if you can't talk without swearing / being coarse,' then I'd rather either you didn't, or we were not in each others company.

I hate the predictability that emerges from the mouths of some, it's so bleedingly boring.

Sash.

Answer 3

If you have the time could put some additional details to your question giving us your definition of course and maybe an example of the coarseness you've experienced here. I'm not trying to be funny or a smartmouth, I'd genuinely like to know your definition of course so I can answer your question. Only if you have time and only if you can be bothered. If you want to use me as your example if I've been coarse in your eyes, it's OK by me.

Thanks In advance,
Karma.
x

EDIT. I'd say you pretty much did answer your own question. The anonymity of being online for some, and genuine behavior for others. I'm sure many fall in between coarse and coy in the real world. Or use coarse or coy when it will work to help get them what they want.

Answer 4

Not all women are coarse, it may depend on who they are talking to, or peer pressure. If other people are being uncouth nobody wants to look different by not joining in. Perhaps they don't have the confidence to be an individual and be quiet instead. I was told from an early age, if you cannot say anything nice, say nothing. Boy, is that difficult! A few decent role-models might help, but it doesn't sell newspapers, does it?

Answer 5

If women are coarse on this site, I think it is because they may be so in the `real world` also. I am never ever coarse, it is not the way that I was bought up to be. Also I am not coy, there is no need for me to be, I can communicate in the same way on the same level, in both the virtual and the `real world`.

Answer 6

I don't think I've ever been coy in my life! I'm not sure what you mean by coarse but I am certainly the same on here as I am in your 'real' life and if that makes me coarse I dont really care!

Answer 7

I think its also about trust and intimacy; in face to face relationships with family and close friends, perhaps women feel safe enough to let down their hair but would not want to do so with strangers. Online, the stranger danger thing is less apparent and so women may assume a trust and intimacy that doesn't actually exist. I feel quite detached on line and do not regard readers/writers as confidantes.

Answer 8

Do you happen to live in a place where intelligence and opinion is considered unattractive in women? For example when I lived in the South I got a lot of s**T for having an IQ. Women are taught and expected to be 'coy'. On a site like this there is anonymity. You get to hear what we really think.

Answer 9

Hello Flaze,

Speaking as a 43 year old woman, I think at the moment it is fashionable for younger women to be more laddish, where as in reality perhaps in real life they aren't. Unless some of them are blokes who pretend to be woman. Anyway I think much of it is peer pressure. Lol I could of course be wrong and we are all hormonally devolving into blokes.

Answer 10

you obviously you haven't had a drink in Manchester for a period in time as you will find women there are intelligent and out spoken as for the coarseness they in turn can hold there own against any bloke if that is the type of conversation and if coyness is required they can also provide that