I know this guy and he is a good friend and recently over the last six months or so we have gotten quite close and i speak to him quite alot and over new year i got the impression he really liked me too but having a girlfriend and being a decent guy he knows he cant make the feeling mutual and he admits its hard sometimes to be around me and just be friends. I know i cant have him and i dont want to break up his relationship even if i could i just want to know how do you get over being in love with the unavaliable?
2007-01-19 10:28:43 · 19 answers · asked by susan d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You be real cool, luv...continue to be friends, but don't "push it"...if he's got genuine feelings for you....and admits that it's hard to be around you just as friends...then you're in the game. Just be patient, and let he and his girlfriend take things wherever it'll lead...
And don't take yourself "out of the market" (so to speak) for other guys. If somebody nice asks you out, or starts talking with you a lot...give them a shot. You never know...
Sounds like you're in a pretty good position....but I know it's real difficult to take your time and not try to jump in too soon or too hard.
Good luck!
2007-01-19 10:34:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn I am in exactly the same situation... we are in boarding schoo/college together and his girlf lives in another country, which makes it worse. I am suffering so badly, i cant look at him without my stomach flipping. We used to be close and I have slept in his bed with him (not doing anything!) I know that he loves her, theyve been together 3 years. Recently it was hurting so bad i decided to not be around him anymore, and then we argued cause he didnt uderstand why i was being distant, so now I can see that he's hurt and I care about him so much it makes it worse. I have come to the conclusion that as long as you are around the person, you cant get over them. I know when he leaves it will hurt like hell, but I will have to get over him then. Im dreading it so badly, hes only here for 3 months more...
2007-01-19 11:38:30 · answer #2 · answered by prettyflower17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Steer well clear. He aint that nice - he is keeping you on a dangly rope just in case he fancies double dunting. Probably a good idea to tell him straight you don't want him to hang around any more as its doing your head in and then sever all connections. If he has stronger feelings for you than the current g/f, he will dump her and come and find you. If not, you were only fluff and best of out of it. Keep your self respect in tact even if he is finding it hard.
2007-01-19 10:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's probably part of the attraction to him, the fact that he is unavailable. The only way to get over it is to try to put it out of your mind.
You really have to.
This person is not right for you. He is attached and if he even suggests to you that he would like an affair, you know that this is not the type of person you would want to be with.
2007-01-19 10:37:19 · answer #4 · answered by Just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are friends then you should just concentrate on being their for him. Even if he wasn't unavailable you might now want to be with him intimately because that might ruin your friendship. A good friendship is something worth keeping. Talk to him and see how he feels. Maybe you found your mate. You never know.
2007-01-19 10:37:05 · answer #5 · answered by Boo8081 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop seeing him for one. If he's admitting that stuff to you, he's getting close to having an affair, and that's not a guy you want anyway. Think of how you would feel if he were your bf and he was talking like this to another woman. You'd be furious.
Stop seeing him and open yourself up to dating available men.
2007-01-19 10:33:41 · answer #6 · answered by acholtz@verizon.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
more you see hime more you will want him. Try and move on make some new friends. If he really liked you then he would have got with you and not stayed with his missus. Move on there are plenty of men that will want to be with you that aren't attached to someone else.
2007-01-20 02:00:36 · answer #7 · answered by I~Love~Baileys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by telling yourself "it's not worth it!" over and over again till it gets you so freaking sick that you are no longer interested in the man . seriously sweets , you don't want to be the evil woman here . there are plenty of men around , someone is waiting for you, go find him !
2007-01-20 04:03:54 · answer #8 · answered by dxb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patience, Im willing to bet that at some point either in the near or not to distant future he will be available.
2007-01-19 10:32:59 · answer #9 · answered by Psyc Guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone else and distance yourself from him. If he suddenly becomes unattached and available, then you can think about getting with him.
For now though, you must accept that he has a partner and move on.
2007-01-19 10:41:05 · answer #10 · answered by Gilligan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋