Is it wrong to stop your husband from talking to a girl friend?

Question

My husband has this girl friend tht I just dont get a good vibe from and I used his texting to find out her real feeling turns out tht the girl likes my husband and went off when I told her she was disrespecting me as his wife and tht she needed to stop. She was like I dont give a **** nothing is going to change and I told her she was wrong and tht she needed to stop putting things in his head to seperate my fam. ( we have a newborn) she wasnt rewspecting me at all and so I told him to choose between us and offcourse he chose me but should I trust tht she wont be calling him? Should I chk his phone o no? Help me please any one whos been here any advise on how not to look like a b**** but a making sure tht she stays away definitly?

Answer 1

You shouldn't worry about looking like a b*tch. He is wrong for having a friend who disrespects you whether it be a male or female. I would definitely check up on him if I were you. It's HIS place to earn your trust back.

Answer 2

No you have every right to demand respect from him. This homewrecker is trying to take your man and your husband was allowing this. If she and he were just buddies that would be different but she likes him in an intimate way and that is disrespectful. What's even worse is that your husband knew this and continued talking with her. What the heck is he thinking?

You warned him and if I were you I would definitely have my guard up. Girl check to make sure he isn't lying to you and is actually having an affair with this broad. All of these other people talk about how you should trust him but he has broken that trust by allowing this woman to enter your lives while you both should be enjoying each other and your new baby. If after a period of time things are on the up and up and you are certain that he is not cheating only then can you get back to the way things were and trust him.

I hope he will be good to you and leave this woman alone, but if cheats on you...leave that jerk.

Answer 3

First and foremost, a marriage should be based on trust, without it, love may wither since there is no foundation under it. By all means, you and your husband should put YOUR marriage first; the girlfriend is history. And while it is possible to have a girl, who is simply a friend, having a prior girl friend in the mix, is simply asking for problems. It seems like the former girl friend is not giving respect where it is needed, and if she had feeling of friendship and respect for your husband, she should (for awhile at least) distance herself and let the two (three) of you grow as a family.

As for checking his phone... NO. If you don’t have that much trust for your husband, you have other problems that need to be dealt with. This is a time for sincere communication between your husband and you forget the old girl friend, you guys are now husband and wife and have a child; talk through it; but do it with love and compassion, not anger and jealousy. Allow growth, but also let him know that this is sincerely bothering you. Time to say bye, bye to the old girl friend.

Answer 4

Instead of confronting the girlfriend...confront the real problem, your husband.
Ask him the hard question...Is he fooling around with said girlfriend? If he is then you need to take action...give him an ultimatum, or leave him. (These are two options there are more).
People in this situation go after the wrong person. Instead of fighting with the girlfriend, go for the nuts of your husband who's disrespecting you, and allowing the g/f to disrespect you. This behavior was initiated on both sides. And, just like having a baby it takes two to tango.
I hope this helps.

Answer 5

Don't worry if you look like a B**** or not. That's YOUR husband and if it was platonic friendship, then that would be ok, but it's not, and if she doesn't respect you or your marriage, she is definately in the wrong. That's BS. You should not let your husband talk to her and let him know that there may be some changes until you can be sure you trust him again. I would be livid, and yes, I would check his phone. This tramp needs to keep away from your husband, and you can't just stand at the sidelines hoping nothing happens, you do what you got to do to protect your family.

Answer 6

You are dealing with the wrong end of the problem. You should be dealing with your husband. He should be telling her to get lost. There is a break-down in your relationship. That needs to get resolved. Get to a good marriage counselor or pastor who does marriage counseling and get some help. There is nothing shameful about reaching out for some help. It is shameful to not do nothing and let your marriage go down the drain. Ask him this question, "Do you realize how it makes me feel for you to be flirting with another woman, or to let another woman flirt with you?" Then tell him how it makes you feel. Then ask him, "do you care that your wife feels this way"? His answer will let you know how he is feeling about things and how serious a problem you have. If he doesn't care how you feel, then he probably wont go to a counselor with you, but you need to go by yourself. They will help you to know what your options are. Hope this helps. :)

Answer 7

First off, you shouldn't be dealing with her at all: you should be dealing with your husband. Tell HIM to stop - he was the one who allowed the indiscretion in the first place. She took no vows, she's not responsible for looking out for the well-being of your family; however, your husband DID vow to you, and he is the one breaking promises by lying and sneaking around. I don't think you should be checking his phone or anything like this; if his mind is bent on cheating, he will find the way to do it anyway; you invading his privacy will only make him more resentful. I would give him the benefit of the doubt, and trust his word on this one.

Answer 8

Well here is the thing...You can't stop her from calling your husband and you can't make her stay away from your man...Only your husband can do that...It shouldn't have taken for you to find out about her and then make him choose for him to then step up and choose you. Once he saw that she was interested in him, he should have then told her that they no longer could be friends...So if you feel that you have to keep checking his phone, then you might as well, but keep in mind, it takes two to tango and this girl doesn't owe you anything...Your husband is the one that took the vows and he is the one that needs to be putting her in her place.
It's messed up that you had to tell him to do something about her. He should have been doing that on his own!

Answer 9

If your husband had a respectable female friend who was also friendly with you, fine. But this girl doesn't sound like a friend. You've done the right thing. But I'm more concerned that you feel like you need to follow up on your man. It's not enough that you've asked him to stop with her? That's not a criticism, but a real question. If your answer is no, you need to really assess your relationship. It goes well beyond some skank who doesn't respect your family. It's not her fault...it's your husband's fault for allowing a person like that into his life knowing full well that he's a husband and dad. Good luck, girl.

Answer 10

This woman sounds like a predator, but the big issue is your husband. I think he has a relationship with this woman and thus will not turn her away not matter what he says. Unless your husband takes a firm stand with her I guarantee she will come back. Your husband does not seem like a very strong person. A caring individual who would bring in any stray cat into the house knowing that his wife is seriously allergic to cat hair.

Answer 11

Your husband is the one who has the power over this situation. He can stop her from contacting him anytime he wants. Let's hope he grows a set and makes the right choice. She can only do what he allows her to. If she keeps texting him, have him put a block on her number, if he is sincere, he will , with no reservations or excuses.