If your wife is hysteric, worrying and a perfectionist, she wants to win the whole world. e.g. She required you to go to church and you do want to. She said she practises Jesus love but she beats the children and does not treat anybody with respect (including me). She wants you tell her what exactly will happens since now until she die. When you have any achievement, she discourages you. Sometimes, I feel very sad for her because she always want to pretend to be perfect but obviously she struggled with her very real truth. Except divouce, what can I do?
2007-01-19 09:17:34 · 28 answers · asked by Beckham 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
what is left to do---divorce or simply stay there and have many mistresses
2007-01-19 09:21:07 · answer #1 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
counseling. the hardest thing for a person to do is to look at themselves objectively and this is exactly what she needs to do. Sit her down and calmly talk to her about changes that need made in your relationship. Tell her you love her and you don't ever want to leave her but the joy and happiness in your relationship seems like a thing of the past. Ask her how she feels about certain things and make the conversation a two way street, each of you giving constructive criticisms and positive feedback. You can work this out with communication.
2007-01-19 09:26:15 · answer #2 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my, oh my,.... let me guess....she knows better than anybody else, nothing is good enough, nobody is ever good enough and she is always right...right?
She makes scenes at restaurants because the service is not good enough? Her friends are perfect but yoru are wortless pieces of crap?
She estresses about having the perfect house and don;t let you even drink a flipping bear in the living room?
No gift is ever worthy enough of her expectations? She makes you misearable everysingle day of yoru life because she always finds something that she nees to "fix".
This is not call histeria, this is freudian concept called "Neurotic Misery". People keep on pursuing a dream of perfection, making everybody involved miserable by being constantly irritable and unable to relax an enjoy, since they always seem to have a master plan for everytghibng.. and if anything gpes wrong...OH BOY! preoare yoru self for crying, piting, complaining..behold the drama, the scene...
A word of advise: if you cannot talk to her into gettibg counsellingm, then find a lawyer. You must be IN HELL.
I'm SO Sorry (really)
2007-01-19 09:26:40 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her exactly what you have written here. She does it because she can...she gets away with it. Sit down with her at a quiet time and explain that although these are the things SHE wants from life, you need to get what you want from life too!
She'll kick up and say You don't love me blah blah blah or she'll sulk (female tactics), stay calm and strong and say that things have got to change. She may even threaten to leave but again, stay calm and say you don't want her to, but if that's what SHE wants....(she won't - again, female tactics).
If she is difficult to talk to, then write it down, just as you have here and leave the note for her to find at a time when you WON't be there, because she will need time to get mad, then calm down, then think about things. When you see her then hopefully the talking will begin. If she gives you the silent treatment (female tactics again!), stand firm and say that you will not be going to church or something else you want to take a stand on.
This is YOUR life although you share it with your wife. If you both can get this resolved you'll BOTH have a happier more truthful relationship.
As for hitting the children...YOU MUST step in and not allow this to happen. If she is beating them who can they look to for help? They see their father won't help and trust me they will always remember that. YOU CAN stop her and you must. I hope you'll bring this up too in the discussion...tell her you will not allow the children to be ABUSED any more! That may sound harsh, but it really is abuse. They'll thank you for it.
Good luck and best wishes.
2007-01-19 09:27:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hou could go and try talking to a marriahe counselor, or better yet, you said she is religious, try going together and talking with a priest. She may not listen to what the counselor has to say but if she is religious and a priest tells her she needs to calm down because she is acting inappropriately or against god she might listen. If this doesnt work i'm sorry, i dont think theres much else you can do other than leave her. As sad as it is to hear this type of stuff you have to realize she will only make everyones life miserable, including your children
2007-01-19 09:23:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is obviously suffering some sort of mental illness (Hysteria). I dont mean to be harsh but my wife is sort of the same. Welcome to my world!!! We are in the state where we needed some help and maybe make her realise what is the real thing. She needs to open her mind because not all the time that you would always give in to that. This is reality and being a hypocrit is not setting a good example to for the kids. She needs to get herself checked and maybe some sort of counselling can help.
2007-01-22 16:39:26 · answer #6 · answered by Macky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IN Christian domestic discipline, you are the man of the house hold,and she shows, no respect for you, take charge, you, as a husband are commanded by God, to disciplined your wife, as she is supposed to obey you in everything! Just be a man, stop taking the junk, take her over your knee, and just give her a good sound spanking that a disobedient wife deserves, and look into christian domestic discipline web for info, and get what a Godly wife is suppose to be like, I am a woman, and my husband stop being such a pushover, and just gave me a good warming red on my bottom, and I have more respect for him! It is so much better than getting a divorce, that you step on the plate and took charge of your home, the Head of Household, and place your wife, as she needs to be in her role as a christian.
2007-01-20 05:31:06 · answer #7 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is abusing the children put a stop to that first. They must come first. Change churches to a less legalistic one, start listening and make sure she isn't tired when you talk. Take her to the doctor and get everything checked and make sure she starts taking vitamin supplements if she's not eating correctly. Start taking exercise together. Spend more time just you and her. And woo her. When you snog be lovely.
2007-01-19 10:34:39 · answer #8 · answered by : 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on and take the kids with you. She is a very sad person. I know people hate the sound of divorce but she's a fraud and you should look out for the best interest of your children. They do not deserve this. Let her rot by herself.
2007-01-19 09:25:34 · answer #9 · answered by NLH823 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she beats the children then they are your priority - not her. Get other members of the family involved or even socal services but your duty is to care for those children. I'm very serious about this and think you should sort this out immediately... Speaking to your doctor wouldnt be a bad thing either - but protect those children!
2007-01-19 09:24:59 · answer #10 · answered by Jackie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im a mother and if anyone and i mean anyone ever hit my children,I would be right out of there,you as a father have an obligation,its either your wife or youre children,if I were you I know who I would choose,so dont even hesitate get your children out of that enviroment,and give them a good and happy life,goodluck
2007-01-19 09:34:14 · answer #11 · answered by LYNDA M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋