I have been dating this guy for over a year now he used to talk a lot about us getting married but I wasn't ready for that and I'm still not.
It's not that I don't ever want to marry him, just not now, I just started university part time and a new job and hes talking about babies. My problem is of resently he gives me the impression that he no longer considers me for marriage. Could it be that its my fault?
2007-01-19 09:14:13 · 11 answers · asked by janedoe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nope it not your fault reason why you are not ready to make babies when you are starting university part time and a new job. and you are still young. If he no longer consider you for marriage he never think about how you feel or what you doing right now.
If you my girlfriend for a year and you started part time at universitry and new job. I would respect you and If i ask you want get married have baby and you said not ready for it and mean that you are not ready. I have respect for you alot. when the times comes right for it and you feel ready then I will be ready... but if you not then It can wait. If you worth to me and very perfect woman then I would wait until when ever you are ready.
I love my wife for 9 years and she work very hard in university full time when i work 2 job to support my wife and found out have baby first one and we didnt plann it and she got her B.S. when she was 9 month pregant with my daughter then later my wife got her MS we didn't plan to have second one after she finished M.S. but 8 months she have my Son. LOL... What I am try to say is that I support my wife for 6 years while i work 2 jobs for her to go to college making sure kids have food and clothes place to live and stuff like that and I am very understanding husband. So I do hope you find a guy like me who support you no matter what.
Again it never your fault at all and glad you really know that you are not ready and glad that you didn't give in and give up ... first look after yourself and if no man don't understand how you feel it not the right person to be with and if man support you and no pressure or anything he is the right person for you smiling.
2007-01-19 10:45:19 · answer #1 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you both need to do more communicating. For any relationship to be successful you have to be able to talk about anything and make sure the other completely understands.
From what you said it seems like you do consider him marriage material but have a lot going on in your life that you'd like to accomplish before you get married. I think that's VERY wise of you. Too many people rush in and then regret it.
If he truly loves you he'll want what's best for you instead of thinking only of himself. This could be a clue as to how your relationship might run.
Spend some time deciding if you think he is the man you want to eventually marry. You may or may not be able to make that decision. If you can't you have to be honest with him and let him move on if he chooses. It will hurt but that means he wasn't the guy for you to spend your life with.
Good luck!
2007-01-19 09:27:35 · answer #2 · answered by janisko 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's definately not your fault because you want to better
yourself and have a job because it can help out in a
marriage. Dating for over a year does not guarantee that
the marriage will be strong and lasting. Both parties have
to be ready for the life long committment and responsibi-
lities. Since you are not ready and he is then if true love
on his part exists then he will wait for you and encourage
you to contine in your education and support you in
having a job. You sound like a young couple and marri-
age does not have to be rushed into. Talk to him about
your feelings towards your future and his and again if
he truly loves you then he will wait for you and both of
you will know the right time to get married.
2007-01-19 14:09:57 · answer #3 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They key is to find someone with similar goals and ideals. Sounds like you two are at opposite ends of the spectrum. That's o.k. He has a right to live the life he wants and so do you. If the two don't mesh, then find someone who's goals and ideals are compatible. Having strong emotions for someone is not the "reason" for getting married. If you are unequally yoked, then it wont work no matter how much you care for someone. It will end up being a "take take" relationship instead of a "give give" relationship. Don't feel like its been a wasted time. You made a good friend and you should be thankful for that. Don't try to force the issue just because there are strong emotions for that person. You didn't blow it. You are sticking to your guns and you should be proud of yourself. Good luck :)
2007-01-19 09:30:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not ready - don't let him guilt you into it. Trust me - if you're not ready it is best to put off marriage. If it's a deal breaker with him, then so be it. Nothing but trouble will come if you give in and aren't ready. Marriage is something you shouldn't ever rush into. If he's stopped talking about it, maybe he's realized you need more time.
2007-01-19 09:27:31 · answer #5 · answered by Lilith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants to get married and have babies. I am sure he has the money to support this kind of family. Right!? Your are on a different path which is your right which does not make his actions your fault at all. I commend your desire to go to school and work at the same time. This guy is in LALALand.
2007-01-19 09:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your "fault". But if marriage is what he wants, then it makes sense for him to not waste his time with a person who is "not ready". I would feel the same if I were him.
2007-01-19 09:20:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if youre not ready then youre not ready--whats the rush? but also I would consider if you have any underlying fears or concerns about yourself or b/f---if he loves you he will wait and understand. perhaps u should sit down and talk more about this----good luck
2007-01-19 09:24:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walrus says if so anybody must have babies with human beings they slightly understand by your estimate, you recognize all those unmarried moms accessible, marriage is the position parenthood ought to ensue, no longer between 2 those who slightly understand one yet another and have not quite dedicated to at least one yet another.
2016-11-25 21:01:39 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cetainly -- always a possibility
2007-01-19 09:20:06 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋