How to deal with your husband being attracted to someone he works with?

Question

There is a tall blond beautiful woman who works in my husbands office. I was picking him up from work yesterday and I saw her. I asked him about her nonchalantly and I could tell by the way he talked about her that he had a bit of a crush on her. I got the impression that most men would be attracted to her since she is many men's ideal. He did tell me that he didn't work with her, but that he saw her at work everyday. When I asked him if he found her especially attractive he said "no not really" but he didn't meet my eyes when he said it. I'm very jealous but I keep it inside mostly, so my husband doesn't really know how worried I am now. He would be shocked to know how suspicious I am at times, mostly because before I met him, I was with a man for 7 yrs who cheated on me. When I found out he had cheated I ended the relationship but still have trouble trusting men now. My husband is very reliable, loyal and loving to me. He tells me always he loves me always but still I'm scared now.

Answer 1

You should be honest with your husband. He might think this woman is attractive but he obviously cares a great deal about you and is trying to spare your feelings. If he outright went on about how hot she is you would of course feel like crap about yourself. You should tell him about your ex cheating on you and how even though you know he loves you you can't help but be scared that he would leave you for this blond bomb-shell. He will probably think that you being worried is sweet and cute and will assure you that nothing like that will ever happen. Just be honest and don't let the green monster eat you up from the inside.

Answer 2

I think you're reading too much into it. Stop worrying until you actually have something valid to worry about. It only stresses you out and makes things tense. You said your husband is reliable, loyal and loving to you, so trust him. That's part of marriage, trust. I can understand being worried because you were cheated on before, but that was a different man, not your husband. Try not to jump to conclusions. Best of luck!

Answer 3

your feelings are probably correct in that he thinks she is attractive, but that's not to say he will want her or pursue anything with her. he is telling you that he doesn't really find her attractive so that your feelings don't get hurt.

how long have you been married, or been with your husband?

same thing happened with mine, he worked with a female who he found attractive and she found him attractive. she even had him over her house helping her move in to her new place. she took a shower while he was there and she strutted around in her robe he later told me. he says nothing happened, but you have to trust that what they tell you is the truth until that time that they give you a reason to believe otherwise. not all guys are the same, and some DO think with their heads...

i'd say the way to deal with it is continue to talk to him about how you are feeling about this woman. let him know that you trust him, but you don't want to be a fool either. i'd say give him the benefit of the doubt since there probably isn't anything going on between them.

Answer 4

Honey unless you are going to lock in him a little glass cabinet and keep an eye on him 24-7 you have to trust him. So what if she is beautiful he is married to you and as long as he is faithful who cares if he looks. I am insecure for the same reason you are but I trust that even though mine looks I am the only one he touchs

All men will look doesnt mean they will all touch

Answer 5

if your hubby was not attracted he would be dead....men and woman are both attracted to the opposite sex...doesn't mean he is cheating on you...you can turn this around to your advantage ya know...if he gets excited by her...you get the benefits...that is how u should look at it...especially since u say he is loyal, etc

Why are u looking for trouble when none exists???

Answer 6

he may think the woman is attractive, but chooses to stay with u. think what happened to u before has made u a bit insecure, and this woman makes u feel threatened. if he isn't doing anything wrong u need to let this go, and focus on your marriage. forget this woman don't compare yourself with her. he would be shocked at how much thought u have given this, and how upset u are over nothing.

Answer 7

LOL every person that sees an attractive person is going to find them attractive. Get over that.
Now stop putting him on the spot and instead join him and strengthen your relationship.
The next time you see her, comment on what she's wearing (if it's attractive/aluring) and tell him you'd love to wear something like that for him...when you get a positive reaction, then tell him you'd really really like it if he stripped you out of it...
Oh my, did you and your partner just play together, get excited about each other and then acted on it. Maybe strengthened your relationship.

Answer 8

We can not control other people's actions. What we can control is our insecurity. Just have trust and faith in your DH because nothing else is going to help. maybe pop in for lunch one day and see what the reaction is. You sometimes just taking his word though would be best....Trust Him.

Answer 9

relax, everyone looks, it's human nature. if he truly loves you and respects you he won't touch. trust in that. i know it's hard, i have a gorgeous husband myself and alot of very attractive chicks have come on to him (even to my face) but he just blows them off. i know i'm the only one he's coming home to just as your husband only comes home to you nomatter what crosses his path. a relationship is all about trust, without it you have no relationship

Answer 10

I think your being paranoid, because you were cheated on in the past.... Don't you trust your husband?