His parents are devout Catholics. And I have no religion. I have no intention of becoming a Catholic. I don't think religion plays a role in our relationship. His parents are determined that if I don't convert, they're not going to be in our wedding. What can I do to convince them?
2007-01-19 09:09:10 · 19 answers · asked by KaN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi Kate...
It's absolutely WRONG of them to try and control you. What I don't understand is why your "intended" isn't taking care of this for you. He should always be the go-between for you with his parents.
Since they are devout they may just want you to be a Catholic so your children are in their eyes but it's not their decision to make.
What's most important is how your fiancee feels about it. If he doesn't feel it's necessary for you to convert then I think maybe you both might have to consider having the wedding without them. it is entirely possible they could change their minds before the wedding since you will be his wife for life.
Whatever you decide please be sure you and your fiancee are in 100% agreement so this doesn't become a constant battle during your relationship.
Religion is a very personal thing that no one can decide for you.
Good luck!
2007-01-19 09:19:10 · answer #1 · answered by janisko 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't convince them. Have you discussed religion with your fiance? How devout is he and what is his relationship with his parents?
I'm not religious either, but don't assume that religion does not play a role in your relationship. With his parents being devout Catholics (or devout anything for that matter), he has been influenced by them and their religion from day one. Even if he isn't actively participating in his religion, the two of you will have to deal with him at some point disowned by his parents. Don't think that it can't happen. Also think about what will happen when (if) you have children.
No, it isn't right for them to "make" you convert. They should respect your decision not to be religious as your respect their choice of faith. Frankly, they can't make you do anything you don't want to; however, you and your fiancee need to have a serious talk about his parents, religion, his position and how it's going to affect your future.
2007-01-19 09:50:32 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont' convert they're not going to be at your wedding, then I'd tell them that they'll miss a nice wedding. Pushing your religion on people is vanity. What will happen if you have children? Will they be in your business with that? You have to follow your own convictions, and also not judge other people by your own convictions either. Just remember, you are marrying the son, not the parents. If your finance doesn't stick up for you with this, then you're going to have a miserable marriage......cause he won't stick up for you at all against them. Think things over very carefully. Best of luck to you.
2007-01-19 09:20:03 · answer #3 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Catholic Church allows marriage between Catholics and non-baptized persons. You will have to get permission from the bishop. This is because the Church recognizes the tremendous challenge you have ahead of you.
Make an appointment with your parish priest and talk to him about your situation.
I think your future in-laws are a bit off base. You have the right to freedom of religion (even if it is none) just as they do.
I suggest you get married in the Catholic Church without converting. If they choose not to go to their own church for the wedding then that is rather petty of them.
With love in Christ.
2007-01-21 13:05:19 · answer #4 · answered by imacatholic2 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is your fiance's role in this? Is he as a committed Catholic as his parents are? Or, is he not that church-going?
When you marry a Catholic and they are devout, you always have to convert. I know because I almost married a Catholic. I don't think you'll be able to convince his parents of your wishes.
I don't know what to tell you. If you really want to marry this man, you may have to elope (if he agrees with your side of the issue) and leave his parents out of it.
2007-01-19 09:22:01 · answer #5 · answered by Nancy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kate, what does your b/f have to say about this? He should be the one to initiate this conversation with his parents.. Tough spot theyre putting you in. And are you both willing to go through the wedding with the possibility that they will not be there.. You also have to think ahead a bit----when the kids come they will try and pressure you into baptizing them and raising them Roman Catholic---this issue has got to be settled now or it will continue to surface and be the source of a lot of contention. Now that said--I believe that some aspect of spirituality is a vital piece of a healthy marriage---so just consider the possibilities. Blessings and good luck.
2007-01-19 09:16:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the Catholic religion for ya ... you either convert and make them happy or hear it for the rest of your life ... if you're fiance is religious I can see why they would want you to convert ... but it sounds like he's not ... what does he want ... you can always convert and choose to practice on your own ( don't go to Church ) ... lol ... good luck with whatever it is you choose to do ... hope everything works out in the end ... remember it's your life - your wedding - your husband ... talk to him about it ... and see where he stands ... !
2007-01-19 09:31:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell them that religion will not make the marriage, the love and attraction you have for each other will. You know your man must talk to his parents and if they truly love him then they would understand. I think as long as the belief in God and Jesus are the same between you and BF, what should it matter. Take control of your wedding and your marriage because his parents will not live it.
2007-01-19 09:45:53 · answer #8 · answered by CityGirl_loveselvis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There isn't anything you can do. They sound hard-headed and narrow-minded. It's only a taste of things to come, be prepared to spend the rest of your life at war with them. They have the right to their opinion, and you have the right to yours - all I'm saying is be ready to have hateful parents-in-law.
My MIL is a devout Catholic, and I could tell she was not too happy when her son, an agnostic, decided to marry an atheist (me). But she has accepted me, and we have a good relationship; she may be a Catholic, but she's a very wise and kind woman who has my undying respect and admiration.
2007-01-19 09:18:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not let my Catholic children marry a non-believer either. Hopefully, they will be smart enough to make that call on their own, so I won't have to do it for them.
I'm sorry but beleive in any Christian denomination trumps disbelief in any Christian denomination all day long.
Religion plays no part in a relationship, or so you think? Have you not heard of the saying, "The family that prays together stays together."
It's true, you know.
2007-01-22 01:51:33 · answer #10 · answered by Daver 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋