My son is being bullied at school, I posted all about his situation. I think counseling would do him some good

Question

I recommended counseling because he has no self-esteem at all. I could of course talk to the principal and the parents but when it comes down to it, my son needs to know how to cope with this. The reason I am so concerned about his mental health is because he hides from his peers thinking they are going to insult him to some degree. His view of the world is mighty bleak right now, it's not healthy to feel that way. If I can get someone professional to open doors in his mind to get a handle on this than I think it would be worth while. When I suggested this to my son (counseling) he said "You think I'm crazy!" In no way is he crazy so I had to explain how this would help him deal with these bullies. I'm doing this too because I don't want him later on contemplating suicide or turning to drugs due to this bullying. What's your opinion on the counseling? Am I wrong?

Answer 1

You are right in getting him some counseling and teaching him how to handle bullies. People, including your son, seem to think that there has to be something wrong with us to go to a counselor. The reality is there "is" something wrong with us. We all have areas that need some help. Counselors are like car mechanics. they specialize in particular areas. They can help us with things that others don't have the knowledge to help us with. Just like a mechanic can fix things that the average person can't. Nothing wrong with going and getting some help. In fact, is the honorable thing to do. The shameful thing to do would be to not do anything. Another idea is to have him go to a support group. There he will get some good ideas and he will be with others who are going through the same thing. Try to get some of his friends who are being bullied to go with him. There are people who will come to your school and talk to the kids also. I seen a group on Oprah a couple weeks ago. Get on the Internet and find some help. Good luck.

Answer 2

The therapy is great of course, but what about the bullies? It's a catch 22 here. He needs a self defense class! Something to build his self-esteem, not just talk. I am a therapist, but I still know he still feels defenseless. These bullies are almost heartless, and it's normally the only thing they think they have going for them. I am not saying I believe in fighting, but either these bullies need to be taken latterly out of the environment, or knocked right back on their butt. Sorry to say. Your son's self-esteem needs worked on. It's like answering a question, "it's all in how you answer"-that shows your strength! Good luck. Martial Arts is also another great self-esteem booster. Like I said, he doesn't need to use it, just knowing he has the knowledge.

Answer 3

You definitely aren't wrong in suggesting counseling. As a parent, it is your duty to make sure that your child is developing in a healthy way. From what I understand, your son is not stable emotionally or mentally right now. I strongly suggest talking to a school guidance counselor about this. If you do so, the counselor could call your son in, and talk about any issues he is having. Your son needs to develop some self esteem and deal with his issues as soon as possible, and talking to a school counselor may help him do so.

Answer 4

My heart goes out to your son, young kids can be brutal. I agree with your son having to be able to cope on his own, but appears as if none of this has happened. I agree you should get him some professional help. Your son is angry, and feels he is being victimize so in his own mind he feels why is it he who needs professional help. You have to approach him as a way to point out to him of all this is not his fault and you can understand and see how all this is affecting his self esteem. Let him know what a wonderful person he is and that you want to be sure that he remains this way and that none of the bullying will affect and change him. Let him know that professional help is not because he is crazy but because he can get help with how to handle these types of situations. Stress those points to him. Also go to the head of the school and demand something be done to these bullyies, I am sure your son is not the only one they have picked on. Some rude kids just get off feeling better by picking on others. and much luck to you and your son.

Answer 5

Yes. HOw old is he, about 13? Well i'm 13 and its not going to make him feel better to have councling. In his eyes, that will give him one more thing to be picked on about. This is not good though. It would be best to skip the counceling and have you talk to him. Kids always want to talk to their parents over someone they don't know. I don't know how bad he is being bullied, but if it is real bad, than may i suggest that you have him go to a different school. I mean if he's getting beeten up than this would be that best choice. Also, maybe ask him if he want's to do something after school, like a sport, a camp or and instrument. ect. It would get his mind off of the things that happen at school.

Answer 6

How long has be been bullied? And what is it that the kids are doing to bully him. His safety at school is the main concern that the school can take care of, so I would bring it to the schools attention. I am a middle school teacher, and I will not tolerate bullying of any kind in my class, but more often it is happening outside to the classroom. So if the outside proctors etc are aware of kids who are being picked on, then they can keep an eye out, and stop the bullying kids while the bullying is going on.

Answer 7

At 7 years old he has been suspended several times? That is a big problem. One that really needs to involve professional help. Have him evaluated by a psychiatrist. He may have a learning disability that makes it difficult for him to behave. Since you are out of work, you have plenty of time to spend with him. Become his teacher. Take him on "field trips" to the local museums and the library. Help him to learn everything he can while he is home with you. If he behaves well for you and not in school, consider homeschooling him. There is a lot of information on homeschooling under the education category. You can read both positive and negative opinions on the subject. Also, look for homeschooling groups in your area. I'm sure you will be able to join while your son is on suspension for a trial basis. It's tough being a single mother and if you have family near by, ask them for help. Maybe there are other single mothers in the area who are in a similar situation. By joining together you can take turns with child care and educational duties. Feel free to email me if you want to discuss this further.

Answer 8

Put him in karate classes it will build his self esteem and teach him how to protect himself.You have to realize the bullies of today are way worse than in our day.They don't just push you into lockers or call you names.They are way more violent these days.They use guns and knifes to torment the other kids.You also need to find out how far this goes.He could be in real danger.Public schools these days are more like day prisons.They have kids that have committed crimes even violent one going to school with the normal kids.Counseling is a good idea but he also should learn how to stick up for himself and things like karate will help give him the self esteem boost he needs.

Answer 9

heya i dont get bullied but i no what it is like to lack self esteem because i do to a certain extent! and in every school there is some horrible kids! who obviously dont have respect for other people, im quite shy but its like the quieter people are easier targets, i think it would be good for counselling because it will get his confidence back on track and make him happier, he may not want it but in the long term he will benefit! I think you should talk to the head teacher again and sort out getting the bullies moved away from him or something so he will have nothing to worry about! anyway hope he gets sorted out:)

Answer 10

My opinion is something should be done about the bullies, then maybe he wouldn't need counseling. At my sons school, theres a policy against that kind of stuff.