I never forgive people that betray me cause i know they will do it again is this healthy?

Answer 1

yu are wise -enugh----be active never give them admission to get in yur mind and heart and home

Answer 2

Society is filled with people who advocate forgiving those who have injured us in some way. Your question is actually profound, whether you are aware of it or not. You say you do not forgive because the transgressor just repeats his/her action. How does that make you feel when you have already forgiven and then get dumped on yet again by this person?
I believe that there is very little value in forgiving another that HAS NOT ASKED YOU TO FORGIVE THEM. Soothsayers in our society have preached that if we do not forgive, then WE will somehow suffer for it. I reply that if we forgive (often repeatedly) some act against us, when the perpetrator is not sorry and does not value our offer, then it cheapens the gift we are offering. How does that help?
It is better to pick up your skirts, refuse to dwell upon the transgression, LEARN from the process, and get on with your life. In the end, only YOU can be responsible for your mental health.

Answer 3

You can forgive people without giving them the opportunity to betray again. To say that you don't forgive implies that you are keeping a grudge against those people. That is unhealthy. But, you can forgive but not let them be close enough anymore to betray you. Just don't keep everyone at a distance just because someone else betrayed you. There will be a few people in your life that you can generally trust if you are willing to trust them.

Answer 4

It depends on your attitude towards the people that betray you. It is perfectly healthy to be cautious around the people that abused your trust and not forget the act of betrayal they performed, but it is important to your health not necessarily forgive their behavior but accept their behavior for what it was and not seek out vindication or dwell on it. It also helps to understand the motives of the people that betray you, it could turn out that there intent was to help you.

Answer 5

Hi Flavor, I have had the same thing done to me.A person who i knew for 36 years. That just shows you,than you can't not trust anyone. I think this is kind of healthy it lets you release some of your stress. I also think you should try,and forgive the person,but in this case we cannot. A Friend

Clowmy

Answer 6

It is never good to hold a grudge of any sort because it stays in your subconscious and can manifest into something bad. Forgive people but never forget. I mean there are certain types of betrail that may be too bad to continiue a friendship or relationship but most if not all grudges should be let go.

Answer 7

I think that it is fine to let people know there are consequences for certain behaviors. A broken trust is a very hard thing to re-build. Some people do not deserve to be allowed back into our hearts or lives, some situations are too toxic to work through and it is best to move on.
As long as you do not allow the event to become something more than it was, or let it become a source of toxic thoughts and emotions for you, then ya, banish them from your life and find more trustworthy people to be with.

Answer 8

If you dont learn to forgive, it will build up and in time will cause mental problems, most likely depression. You dont have to continue a relationship with those people, but forgiving them will lift a great burden off your chest.

Answer 9

Sometimes it is better to forgive and then you can move forward in life.Sometimes we allow bitterness to grow like a cancer and it destroys you.Everyone is accountable for their own actions in life.You have to decide if not forgiving someone makes you a better or worse person than the person who you perceived has "betrayed " you.Pick your battles in life.Life is too short.

Answer 10

I believe the same too.I may want to forgive someone but I can't because I am afraid tht they will do it again and then who will prevent me from getting hurt?I don't know if this is healthy or not but I cannot act diferrently.I only know tht it hurts because you are obliged to completely delete this person although you may deeply need and love it!

Answer 11

In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgement, apology, and/or restitution, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe they are able to forgive. [citation needed]

Most world religions include teachings on the nature of forgiveness, and many of these teachings provide an underlying basis for many varying modern day traditions and practices of forgiveness. However, throughout the ages, philosophers have studied forgiveness apart from religion. In addition, as in other areas of human inquiry, science is beginning to question religious concepts of forgiveness. Psychology, sociology and medicine are among the scientific disciplines researching foregiveness or aspects of foregiveness.

Instances of teachings on forgiveness such as the parable of the Prodigal Son[1] and Mahatma Gandhi's forgiveness of his assassin as he lay dying, are well known instances of such teachings and practices of forgiveness. Some religious doctrines or philosophies place greater emphasis on the need for humans to find some sort of divine forgiveness for their own shortcomings, others place greater emphasis on the need for humans to practice forgiveness between one another, yet others make little or no distinction between human and/or divine forgiveness.