my daughter is 8 and can't make friends why?

Question

she is a happy healthy girl has friends at school of her age but hasn no brothers and sisters and wants to be friends with 2 older girls (12) but they don't want to know her she is very unhappy

Answer 1

give her away to social services and let them worry about it, try for another and better luck with popularity next time round.

Answer 2

The difference between 12 years and 8 years is GIGANTIC. 12 is an age when kids start to become very conscious of their peer group and are stretching to be considered more mature. The girls probably feel that having an 8-year-old tag along with them would make them seem immature.

I'm sure it's nothing personal against your daughter. Can you remember back when you were 12? If you had kids your own age to play with, would you have chosen to play with an 8-year-old? Very likely you would have found that you didn't have much in common with them.

Tell your daughter that the 12-year-olds don't have anything against her personally, they just want to hang out with their own age group. (It's probably better that your daughter not hang out with kids this age, as that's when they start discovering boys and makeup and other older-girl things.)

Answer 3

Can you imagine being 12 and wanting to grow up and be a teenager and then a little 8yr old wants to 'hang out' with you? It's totally nothing against your daughter - as you've said she has many other friends! It's just age gaps are so vast when you're that young. An 8 year old when you are 12 would be into very different things. Your daughter should be into 8 year old things else you may find her growing up too quickly!

Answer 4

Poor thing. 8 is such a hard age. 12 year olds are getting ready to enter their teens and they have no time for an 8 year old, so she shouldn't take that personally. I remember when I was 8 I had a heck of a time making friends. I was on the shy side and kids can be so cruel. My parents put me in Sunday school and it was the best thing they could have done. Maybe consider enrolling her in sports. This could be a great way for her to meet girls her age. In the meantime, keep being her mommy. That's what she really needs! :) Good luck!

Answer 5

An 8 year old and 12 year old are in very different states in their life. I understand why you might think it's wrong, but the 12 year olds are facing different things in their life. I'm 11, and some kids that age just think they're too cool to hang out with younger kids. If I were you, I'd be encouraging her to become friends with people her own age. 12 year olds are starting to get older, and they're going to (obviously) be talking about things that you may not want your daughter hearing, with her being 8.

Answer 6

It's not that she can't make friends, just that the bratty 12 year olds don't want an 8 year old playmate, and I wouldn't encourage it either - remember they will be 16 when your baby is 12!!!
Why not make a point of having her school pals over at least 3 times a week for a few hours after school? I do it with mine, and it can be a bit of a pain but they entertain each other, all you have to do is supply the fish fingers!!

Answer 7

12 year old girls don't really want to hang around with an 8 year old. Try and encourage her to mix with children her own age. Invite some friends around to your house after school. Invite them over the weekend, go to the park, cinema etc. Just try and help her, and give her advice. It is hard at that age. My little girl is 8 too, she had a few problems and we sorted them out together. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Only children are a special breed. They are usually more mature than their peers. They are also used to setting the rules for games by themselves and find it tricky to let others in. Your daughter is looking for people more like herself hence going for the older crew. My son was an only for 8 years and was a little different and preferred the company of my friends (I was also a single parent). I got married and have had another child and he has adapted well. Not a coincidence but his best mate is his cousin who is a single child and female to boot. They understand each other. But they both do similar things like talk to themselves. It takes them more time to make friends a)because other people especially younger children notice the eccentric behaviours and b) because the only children are far more advanced and don't like the baby stuff as much. And because the actually are used to their own company and not sharing. I notice that my sons friends are often boys from single parent homes or only children. Like goes to like. You could dig around the classroom and find another one and suggest a day out or something and see how it goes?

Answer 9

Girls at 12 think they are grown up, want to put make up on and talk about boys. This is why they don't want your daughter hanging around. It's nothing to do with your daughter. You should try to get her to join some clubs that she would like. She would then be able to find friends her own age.

Answer 10

It could just be the age gap - try not to let it become a big deal for her by playing it down and encouraging her to move on.

I wouldn't worry if she has other friends - not everyone is going to want to be her friend.

Maybe she would enjoy an evening club (like Drama or dance if she enjoys that sort of thing) where the kids are of mixed age and different schools? Good luck

Answer 11

tell her not to take it too personal that these two girls dont want to be her friend, its probably because they are twelve and they think they are way to grown up to play with her, they will be at an age where its not cool to hang out with 8 year olds. if she has some friends at school why not ask some over for a sleep over I'm sure by the Monday at school everyone will be happy. good luck