i'm still a teenager. when i get older i want to adopt older kids , you know the teenage throw away kids that have been through a lot and nobody wants. and also the kids that are in a family(like a brother and a sister) so they won't have to be separated. but everybody is telling me that the older kids come with problems and emotional issues and to go with babies and toddlers instead. i still have lots of time to decide, but what do you think i should to?
2007-01-19 08:19:00 · 8 answers · asked by i totally agree with you!! not 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
honey just wait til youre older to worry about that. Enjoy your youth EVEN though I must say to you it was refreshing to hear your question, I thought you were gonna say you were pregnant! Glad that wasnt the case!
I think older kids are okay BUT be prepared to deal with the emotions that they bring in!
goodluck but focus on school first!
2007-01-19 08:27:10 · answer #1 · answered by BoTToms UP 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You definitely want to wait a while to decide and you also want to make sure your partner (whoever that is by then) is on the same page as you. Older kids are tougher because they have been through so much but in a way it is good because you know what you are in for. Many are diagnosed with RAD which is caused by neglect and/or abuse. It is up to you do determine how much of that you can handle (some are worse than others). Luckily we were provided with a case history and we knew what we were faced with - not like adopting a baby and not knowing about potential mental illness in the family.
If you are emotionall strong and good about setting boundaries you should do well with an older child. They are well worth the time and love that you will invest in them.
BTW- you do have lots of time to think about it since the state (at least in MA) requires adoptive parents to be no less than 20 years older that the child that they adopt. Meanwhile you may want to consider working with some of these kids - group homes or after school programs. I'm sure many would love a caring volunteer.
Good luck and I hope that you find that this is right for you.
2007-01-19 08:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should start out being a big sister. You will have a chance to get to know some of the kids that are in the system and what you might be getting into. After that you should try foster care. You will get a better look at what it takes to have those type of children in your life and if you can handle it. This will also give you a open door to adopt the kids you have in your home already or look for other kids in the system. I think it is best for you to start slow and work your way up. It is just as hard for these kids to go from home to home as it is for you to take care of them. So start slow at the bottom with big brothers big sisters or mentoring then foster care then adoption. Also remember that when you are old enough to have these kids in your home you may have to share the responsibility with your spouse or whom ever. Just keep that in mind. Good luck and you're a good person to want to do this with your life.
2007-01-19 08:43:45 · answer #3 · answered by quel772o 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't like the term, "throw-away kids", because most of the time (probably ALL of the time) these kids are unfortunate enough to have been born to parents who are incapable of taking care of them. They don't "throw them away". The parents are just incapable of doing what is normal. Nobody else throws them away either. People who try to find homes for children do their best. The fact is there are far more kids in need of families than there are families who are able to accommodate them. So these kids are not "thrown away". They got a bad hand dealt to them, but the realilty is if kids don't have two good parents to watch out for them and care for them it is very difficult for agencies and strangers to give those kids what parents could have/should have.
It is a heartbreaking thing that there are child who need homes, and not all of them will have "baggage" or medical problems; but many do. I think when it comes to adopting older children it may be best when the people adopting won't have their own children or are older with grown children of their own.
Mixing one's young biological children with older children who need a certain type of attention can be difficult, and isn't for everybody. Older kids who have been through a lot do have emotional issues, and it does take a certain type of person and certain type of adoptive home to be able to deal with (and accept) those issues.
I have to say with my kids just about grown, I have considered looking into maybe adopting a young-side child or siblings; but I don't think I could devote the time needed to them right now.
What you should do is wait until the time comes when you're seriously going to make a move and then do as much research and talking as you can do. You may find you change your mind about adopting anyone in, say, your twenties; but maybe you'll decide to look into it again when you're in your forties or so. I do think it takes a certain degree of maturity (just more time on Earth) to be able to deal with some of the issues that could arise.
2007-01-19 08:38:34 · answer #4 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well My parents are foster parents(I'm not a foster kid) and the people are Right most older children, but not all do have some problems. Toddlers are still young so you can somewhat reprogram" them or teach them wrong from right because they're still learning and most won't remember what happened to them when they get older.But If you're willing to have a lot of patience then I would say go for it.People rarely want to adopt older children, so I'm glad you are thinking of that best of Luck.
2007-01-19 12:40:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that could want to matter upon the birthparents. The adoptive mothers and fathers and them might want to have see eye to eye on alot of themes to make certain that it to workout to be a delightful relationship. if it truly is the case then i imagine an open adoption is a impressive concern. a newborn by no ability may have too a lot love!
2016-10-15 11:17:39 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that u should not worry about it too much and deal with the problems as they come.
2007-01-19 08:23:05 · answer #7 · answered by la_dmarma_lyd 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
deal with your life now...worry about others after you complete your studies.. ones you reach your goals and have the extra money to provide for some one else ...then decide to do so...
2007-01-19 10:46:33 · answer #8 · answered by mona w 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋