what do you do if your fiance does not want to have pre-martial counseling before we get married?

Answer 1

so what if he doesn't want pre martial counseling....big deal

Answer 2

That's right lady. As the other people said, he is a selfish man, a pig, a dog or a worm. So dump him, dump him yesterday.

After all, you are far too demure and dainty to be selfish in any way, shape or form aren't you?

This is the exact circumstance that makes me believe that there is no such thing as a "WIN WIN". Anytime there is a winner, someone somewhere had to give up something. BTW, a compromise is not a "WIN WIN", it is a "LOOSE LOOSE". No one gets what they want.

To your fiance, go to the counseling damn it, show her who is going to wear the pants in your family.

My God. You two are considering marriage and can't handle this without bringing in a bunch of strangers. I think you may have more differences than you realize.

I am a happily married man. I have been that way for almost 2 years. And 2 out of 35 ain't bad. Yeah, 35 years with the same woman, never cheated and boy can we argue. I suggest you guys sit down and REALLY figure out what is going on with both of you.

Answer 3

I'm assuming we're talking about getting married in a Protestant church? What is his objection to it? I think you need to find out what he is afraid of so you can understand his point of view. Then talk to your minister and explain your fiance's concerns so your minister can explain what is involved in the pre-marital counseling. You don't have to reveal your innermost secrets or bare your soul. It's more to talk about compatibility, in most cases. In some churches, it's also a way for the minister to be assured that you're entering into the marriage for the right reasons which he/she may require before he/she agrees to perform the ceremony.

Answer 4

Ask him why he doesn't want counseling. It certainly can't hurt. My grandparents do premarital counseling and they have a lot of couples that realize they are not ready to get married after all. I am sure you don't want to find out that it isn't time to get married, but it sure is better than getting a divorce later. Plus it can help you figure out what to expect as a married couple so you know what can be worked through once you start having problems.

I did not go to counseling before I got married either, now my husband and I are considering it...prevention is usually easier than correction.

Answer 5

It is totally up to you and your heart to decide if you are making the right choice about your marriage. . . I did not get pre-marital counseling and I wish we would have because I have been with my husband since the 9th grade and married for 4 years and now I feel that we definitely should have waited to get married. I think that if we would have had some counseling we would have discovered that we were not 100% compatible. I love him to death but we are just not on the same level anymore. . .

Please take it seriously because we are talking about some life changing events that will take place soon. . . and yeah you can just get divorced but you can't get back the years that would be wasted. Good luck and God bless. . .

Answer 6

Why do you need pre-marital counseling? I wouldn't want to have counseling before I got married and I wouldn't ask my husband to do that. What is the point?

Answer 7

My husband and I both agree that pre-marital counseling is pretty stupid if each of you already have your mind made up you want to get married. I think it might be good for those who have reservations about marriage or "cold-feet". My husband and I were very confident in our decision to get married and stand by it to this day. We didn't see any reason for someone we don't even know to question our decision, try to talk us out of marriage or wait a year to get married (from planning a wedding). We announced we were getting married and two weeks later we were. I think you have to respect his decision and just sit down and openly talk to him. Make sure he understands why you want to go to the counseling and listen to why he doesn't. Be sure you have talked to each other about kids, parenting styles, how you will discipline your children, will you work or will you stay at home while the children are young, house or rent, which family to visit on Thanksgiving/Christmas/other holidays, etc. There are a lot of things you each need to be aware of before marriage, but fortunately, you don't need a counselor to ask the questions. Just sit down with each other and talk about anything and everything you can think of about married couples. Best of luck!

Answer 8

I'd start looking at all the other things you do not have in common with this person.
Dating is the time you check if you are both on the same page of the play book. That you have simmilar interests, views, and goals.
If you find to many differences then you need to think on if you can live with those differences without forcing the other to change.
If one has needs that the other is not meeting then one will go looking to meet those needs.

Answer 9

I've been married 20 years and never had pre-marital counseling. What's the big deal!

Answer 10

If you need pre-marital counseling you probably do not need to get married

Answer 11

I'd probably look at it as a red flag. I realize not everyone is receptive to counseling, but it's so important to start out on the right foot.
Find out what he objects to. Tell him how important it is to you. Hopefully he will realize that you can both gain significant insight into your relationship and potential problems.