why do people say i'm attractive, outgoing, etc but i can't make friends?

Question

i have been told that i'm articulate, outgoing and personable but when ever i talk to another female whether a parent at my daughters school or a neighbour I just get looked at like I have two heads?? I'm not a shy person and will talk to anyone and I like to talk so what's up with it. My husband says that the person is jealous and he tells me that he sees girls glaring and looking me up and down after i talk to them when my back is turned but really??? Is it me???

Answer 1

I don't think the problem is with you. You can't help it if God gave you your good looks. You know what it is the women creature. We are so competitive even in the popularity category. I really don't think it has anything to do with you. Your husband should know why. The fact that he said they look at you from head to toe is obvious that they are envious. I could never be envious of another women and I wish I could give lessons on why anyone should not be envious of someone else. Who cares how they look at you as long as you are comfortable in your own skin. You know what I am tall (5'11") and dark skin and 100% natural down to my short hair. I could care less if people look at me & think negative thoughts. My husband and I are both happy that's all I am out to please. So sweetie rather you make friends with them or simply want to be their acquaintance don't let it bother you. Another solution would be confronting the individual and ask them if they don't mind answering a quick question. If they so no ask away. Maybe you will have a better idea. I lacked confidence being so tall growing up but people use to actually give me the same look. I would ask them why and they said I look like I should be a model. I personally did not think so but it was not negative why I would get stares. So maybe you will feel better if you get one person response. Sometime it is easier said then done as far as not caring what people do or say. Especially if it happens often. But really try to find other ways to over come the issue at hand. Find a comfortable approach to ignoring it or even pretending it is not happening. I normally would focus more on my family if we are all togehter and start speaking to them and avoid all eye contact with anyone else.

Answer 2

It's because you're smart AND attractive AND outgoing. It's a triple threat and unfortunately there are a lot of women out there that get very jealous and insecure about it. My mom was a beautiful woman and she taught me at a young age to "kill em with kindness". It doesn't always work, but I know I'm a good person for at least trying. There was actually a show on Tyra not too long ago...it was about 10 gorgeous women, 5 of them thought that beauty was a curse and they told how they didn't have any girlfriends, women at work talked about them behind their back, they got glared at by women in the PTA, etc. It reminds me of your story. TO ALL WOMEN OUT THERE: The next time you glare or talk bad about a woman because she's attractive, take a second and think about how that makes you look. It's not flattering to yourself and I know for a fact that men pick up on that and see it as a major insecurity issue.

Answer 3

Maybe you are talking too much and not listening. That for sure is a turn off.... Being all the things you say you are is great, but do you go on and on and not let people get a work in edgewise????
think about it, it shows as aggressive and dominating behavior to some people.
You should ask your friends for an honest opinion, they should tell you if they are real friends.
I think I might back off a little and not be so exuberant and open, some people are threatened when strangers approach them or come into their space. Not everyone likes to chit chat and are not out going so they might have difficulty reading you..
Do a little self homework and be honest. Maybe you can tweak a few things that need a little taming.

Answer 4

Sounds like your dealing with a bunch of 7th graders. People are ignorant, there is no telling why. But they make snap decisions about people they dont even know. Do u think maybe it seems like u have an attitude or anything when u talk? or do u talk like your higher above people? if not then idk whats wrong with them. But it doesnt matter. No one NEEDS friends. U have a husband and a daughter so obviously u doin somethin right. If you ever need anyone to talk to just talk to us here at Yahoo! answers :)

Answer 5

You say you like to talk, but what--or who--do you talk about? Are you talking about yourself? The best way to make friends is to ask people about themselves. Show an interest in others and you'll make friends. Ask them about their children, what they like about the school, where you can find certain services, whatever. If you're just busy regailing people all about yourself, people won't be the least bit charmed. And if you think people are jealous of you, you may be acting like you think so much of yourself. That turns people off.

Answer 6

The best way to make friends is to be a great person, and if you are kind, loving, and, caring people will naturally come to you. Don't act stuck-up, or be intimidating. But most importantly, be yourself and people should naturally gravitate to you. It isn't your looks that gets you friends, it's the person under the good looks! The best way to get great friends, is to be a great friend, uproach the ones around you in a non-threatening way, and you should have friends in no time!

Answer 7

hmmm? Mine is a more question than comment or answer. Do you let them talk? Do you really listen or are you just waiting for your turn to talk about what you want to talk about? You said you are peronable but are you really? You can not please everybody all the time. Maybe since you act so great at everything maybe people think that you have everything so why be your friend. They might think you dont need one.

Answer 8

Don't be so preoccupied with what people say and think about you. Be your cheery self and live your life to the fullest. Regardless of your surroundings, some of us just stand out, and you may be one of those stars who shine brightly, and some people can't take the glare. So if you make friends, fine, and if not then don't worry. You can't please everyone in this life and you shouldn't change who you are just to do so. Good luck.

Answer 9

People are funny animals. I have to wonder what your voice sounds like.
The only time I've looked at someone like the way you've described is if the voice doesn't match what I thought should be coming out of the body.

Answer 10

People, especially women are jealous of other women and it sounds like you have everything going for you so that could be the case. As for men, they could feel nervous around you because of the fact that you are so confident and attractive.