My ex husband and I were married for five years. He had an affair with his boss that caused our marriage to fail. Well, our divorce got finalized last week. I havent spoken to him in awhile. Also, he was emotionally abusive so i can say my life is so much peaceful now that i am not with him. So heres what happened, i returned a call to him last week. The woman whom he is now with (the one he had an affair with) answers his phone, i was very polite and asked her to relay the message to him. She got really nasty with me and started arguing with me considering the fact that i was very polite with her. I should be the one angry, but why is she the nasty one considering the fact that she was the mistress. I could have been vendictive but i just decided to move on. Since, a month ago my ex husband begged for me to meet with him and i turned him down for it. His actual words were "i just want to feel happy again". He should be happy since he has now been promoted and he got what he wanted.
2007-01-19 08:00:18 · 40 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you have gotten your revenge. You are happy and have moved on (in a mature and respectable way) and now he is stuck with this nasty cow.
He is getting everything he deserves. Stay strong and keep positive and mature in your contact with them. In the end, you come out of this looking great.
I wouldn't meet with him anymore...your divorce has been finalized - it's over!
No need to put yourself through any more pain than you have to.
Good for you! Best of Luck!!
2007-01-19 08:16:30 · answer #1 · answered by michellecdnd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I firstly say this, GOOD FOR YOU! You stood up for yourself, and I'm sure it was hard to go through, but you have come out on top! Now I will say that he has truly lost a wonderful woman... I can only imagine how I would have acted towards this woman, I respect you for being able to be kind... You really know what the Golden Rule is, unfortunately, you didn't get treated the same way you treated her.... next, she was that way because she has a guilty conscience, she ruined a marriage, and now she is with the man who cheated, and he could do the same for her (i hope you take no offense that I just bad mouthed your ex?) she sounds like she resents you, but she resents you because you make her feel like a worthless piece of ***, that your husband used her for... and maybe he is now being emotionally abusive to her... she and your husband are now facing the consequences of their childish actions, they are both miserable, and won't be able to run from the past, while you are now free and able to move forward... its hard to be charitable when you have a guilty conscience and a soul stained with sin... keep your head up, continue to be kind, and be happy...
2007-01-19 08:11:14 · answer #2 · answered by lily 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What an ***.
He should have thought about being "happy" before he ran off for some "overtime".
It's good that you didn't agree to meet with him. Do not give him an inch.
And the mistress has no reason for being a ***** to you. I applaud you for having the restraint to be so polite to her considering she was involved in the affair with YOUR guy. She's being vindictive because she feel she owns this guy now and probably wants you nowhere near him.
So all for the best that you have nothing to do with him at all anymore. It's just going to lead to more trouble.
2007-01-19 08:05:54 · answer #3 · answered by jetkitty83 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you need to just sit back and enjoy this for a little while. She is clearly threatened by you. She could even be jealous. After all, he was yours first. Sounds like the ex is starting to realize he made a mistake by having the affair. Do not answer his phone calls and do not meet him for anything. He needs to learn what if feels like to hurt. I am proud of the fact you maintained your cool on the phone. Killing them with kindness works everytime. Keep it up. Don't look back and keep moving forward. Good luck and GOD bless.
2007-01-19 08:16:29 · answer #4 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is vindictive because she knows she was in the wrong. He's not happy because the relationship probably isn't what he thought it would be. Of course, if she was his boss, then she is a strong woman. He isn't happy because he can't abuse her like he did you.
Don't meet with him, just leave it alone. What he means by he "just wants to be happy again" is "I want you to take me back so I can be in control again; and can do what I want, when I want, to whom I want".
Don't go there. He doesn't deserve you, or to be happy at the expense of some one else, especially given what he did to you.
I wish you the happiness you deserve, and prosperity in the coming year.
Hazel
2007-01-19 08:12:16 · answer #5 · answered by greenwitch822 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, after all of this that happened, I have to commend you on leaving that loser. Its hard to start over. Second, don't bother calling him back. Keep communication with him only if you have children together. Other than that, if you're divorced is settled then drop off his radar. You deserve peace in your life. The only reason that mistress got upset is because she sees you as a threat. She has no trust because she knows that what he did to you could happen to her. Its Kharma. Good luck.
2007-01-19 08:11:59 · answer #6 · answered by -Bibee- 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, your marriaged failed way before he had the affair that's why he had the affair. You are better off for it, because GOD works in mysterious ways and you will meet the person who was MADE for you. In the meantime, you don't have to suffer abuse from his significant other or from him -- don't live in contention and move on with your life because there is WAY better things coming up for you -- so be prepared and don't forget to wear a catchers mitt -- goodness happens really fast!
2007-01-19 08:11:14 · answer #7 · answered by Faerie Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only reason why she got nasty with you is because you was his wife at one point of time and she know that he'll always have a spot for you. If you feel that you deserve better the then go and find Mr. Right then go for it but if you miss you husband give him another chance make the relationship work again but make you let him know his boundaries and if he cross them again BYE. Go with what your heart is telling you to do.
2007-01-19 08:15:58 · answer #8 · answered by lissa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the Grass that you ex thought was greener on the other side of the fence, turned out to be Stinkweed. Serves him right, he got what he deserved. You, on the other hand, have learned to appreciate the lack of abuse and your new found peace . You don't need to renew the agravaton, so tell him to stop calling you and to move on. You have.
2007-01-19 08:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by Class Act 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you for moving on and improving your life. You are not responsible for improving his, and now you have a court paper that dissolves you of any responsibility. He's probably looking for something to ease his conscience, and there's nothing that you can say or do that will change that. He's got to face his own consequences. You've moved on. His lady friend wants him to move on (and keep you out). He's old enough to figure this out. Let go fully and keep your side of the street clean.
You've got a brand new world to discover out there!!!
2007-01-19 08:05:31 · answer #10 · answered by roswell75 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋