ok so you may have read my post the other day about my controlling friend who will not let me make any new friends because if i try she makes my life a misery. eg. tutting, eye rolling, using a funny tone of voice with me. well, i been working after school in pizza hut for a short while and in the past few days another position has became available in the same place i work in and she found out about it. shes now decided she wants to apply for the same job+ was looking on C.V writing help websites, brushing up on interview techniques like crazy over the past few days so she 'can be certain she'll get to work with me' as she put it. the way i see it is that this is just anotha way of makin sure i hav no friends xcept for her because if she does get the job she wont want 2 talk with the otha people that work here. she'll just want it to be us 2 in our own little bubble. if i dont give her my undivided attention i will have to deal with more of her bitchiness towards others.
2007-01-19 07:51:25 · 18 answers · asked by tania 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i am normally a peace loving person who hates conflict
2007-01-19 07:56:35 · update #1
Oh, I had a friend like that. She caused trouble between me and my other friends (people I had known for over 20 years) in an attempt to keep me to herself. She also used to pop over to my house without warning despite the fact I made it clear I like to be telephoned first and having the option to say 'no'. Final straw when I got married and found out I was pregnant. She tried to split me and my husband up by making out he was on dating sites and sending him emails about me and that sort of thing. She also tried to interfere in another relationship in a very nasty way and I couldn't take any more of the nonsense. I just exploded one day and told her not to contact me again. She tried a few tricks but they didn't work and now I never hear from her. She was a desperate person who was even sleeping with a married man - despite having met his wife and children. People like this will bring you down with them. It took me a few years to realise what was going on and how serious it was. I am glad you are more sensible and can see whats happening. I agree with you about everything and am on your side. Please get the courage up at some point to cool it with her. Best of luck.
2007-01-19 10:07:14 · answer #1 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did not read the last post you wrote but I get the gist from what you are posting now. First of all, why would you let anyone be the boss of you. You are your own boss and you need to stand up to her and tell her to mind her own business. Secondly I think working with her is a big...HUGE mistake on your part. That will only intesnify things for you. What you need to do is distance yourself from her slowly with out making her too suspicious. Then over time you will start to hang with new friends and she will have to make some new ones herself. You need to show her your are not backing down to her. She is very insecure about herself and I am guessing by having you as a friend makes her feel better. I had a friend once who did the same thing and it drove me batty. Once I put her in her place she never bothered me again about it! Good Luck!
2007-01-19 07:59:55 · answer #2 · answered by klynn598 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do YOU feel like you owe her anything? have you helped eachother through some really tough times? has she done something so grand and special for you that you cant tell her to leave off? if you are letting her hang around you because the answer is yes to any of those questions and you see her as a true true friend then really truely talk to her about this situation.. maybe shes frightened your going to grow apart be sensitive but really firm...
if shes just a taggalong stalking cling-on that you have just got used to then make new friend and tell her you value your "friendship" but you wanna meet other people..
in the mean time have a really quite word with your boss or manager about her being careful that it doesnt sound like immature banter and explain that you dont think that allowing her to work in the same establishment is a healthy idea... "in your personal opinion"
2007-01-19 08:01:16 · answer #3 · answered by Minx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look this is what you need to do when you have someone like that you need to tell her that she needs to stop be controlling and to attached to you. Tell her that you need some space for a while. also tell her that she can not apply In the same job because most work won't let that happen, you will both get fired, so if I where you tell her to bug off or if she can not do what she is told then tell her that you are going to have in order of protection against her. I do not know if you want to go that far with that Good Luck.
2007-01-19 07:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by j13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,you are not being stupid, you are mearly young,and to me it looks like your friend is lonely and insecure.
I think that by what you say you cannot see her need for a "special" friend, and perhaps you are a bit intiminated by her behavior, you must "make a stand" and tell her that you are friends and you will try and help her when you can, but you also must build your own life.
Life is`nt easy, but you have a long time to learn.
Good luck
2007-01-19 08:05:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you going through this drama, hurt her feelings and let her know that she has gotten on your last nerve and if she sniffs around or interview for this position at this particular place you will never speak to her again. You got to tell her or she will never know, and you will end up with grey hair or a twitching eye or anything along those lines.
2007-01-19 07:58:32 · answer #6 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditch the *****, how hard can this be? Do you like living in fear and worry? Just tell the control freak to go tut at someone else.
It's a no-brainer.
To answer your question, yes you are being stupid. Friends don't do this!
2007-01-19 07:58:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u ither ave to talk to her,do it carmly.try slipping it into conversation in a jokey, light hearted kinda way it might just make her think bout it without u aveing to say to much.or just carry on making new friends and talking to others it might make her get tried of the tutting and eyerolling and just realise cant she stop u living ur life how u want...or she might say something to bout it in which case u will have to b honest with her bout how u feeling!!!!!if she carries on after all this and really doesnt want u to ave ne other friends then im sorry to say she not really worth aveing as a friend......good luck!!!
2007-01-19 08:07:59 · answer #8 · answered by kim h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry old man this is a control freak and you need to walk, no, run away from this one IF you can. She may just run over you if she can't have you. Get lost go to another town get a transfer and don't tell anyone but mom where your going.
2007-01-19 08:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by flagshipcva73 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just act the way she do to her and then she might get the point or just tell her straight up becuase there is a limit of how much a girl can take and right now she has gone over the line
2007-01-19 08:01:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋