I have always had a strong sex drive and I have been with the same man for almost 3 years. We have 1 child together. I found out about a year ago that the reason our cars were repossessed and we lost our apartment was because he had been spending all our money at a strip club and was going nearly every day of the week. And even borrowing MY credit card to pay for his lapdances.
I left for a few days, but he said sorry so I came back after he promised not to waste anymore money and get help for his sexual addiction. (This addiction was not a good thing for me. He only wanted sex with me,1 or 2 times a month.)
I got over it, somewhat.(It was hard finding this out when I was 8 months pregnant.)But I had the baby, lost what little weight I gained and got my confidence back.
I have been taking birth control since our 17 month old was born. I am now 5 weeks pregnant and I am devestated.
He wants sex all the time now, and I don't.
I'm just grossed out thinking of what he'll do this time
2007-01-19 07:47:11 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know he is still going to this strip club, but it didn't really bother me because I could go out and have my fun too.
Now I can't and soon I'll be fat and feel unsexy again.
Of course I don't want the scuzzy little horndog pawing at me after he's been eyeballin and payin all those girls that aren't pregnant.
How do I get over this?
2007-01-19 07:55:03 · update #1
It's understandable and normal for you to still feel hurt and to avoid sex with him. You haven't really gotten over it; nothing has happened to help you get over it. Him saying he's sorry isn't enough; you need counseling TOGETHER. If he refuses ( a good sign that he still doesn't care about your feelings), then get some individual counseling to help you deal with this and make decisions for the future. This will affect your child, as well, so just living with it is not an option, and you deserve happiness, too. Additionally, you can't trust him not to do it again, and trust is essential to have a mutually pleasing sexual relationship.
2007-01-19 08:01:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of this is the getting pregnant messing with your head, making you paranoid and depressed. Figure out what you would let him get away with. Lapdances aren't that bad, sheesh. Also, figure out other things that you can do.
Oh, and even though you may be thinking in circles sometimes, don't NAG the man. Women can't stop thinking. It's a blessing and a curse.
Have some steak and eggs, and foods with barley. These foods have a protein called L-argenine that is supposed to help support your sex drive. There are supplements that have it too, as well as other nutrients for sex. Sex drive is the first thing to go when your body is "a little off" and next comes depression! Read up on it and don't always trust your doctor. Seriously, a doctor will tell you to do things that will throw you waaaay off more often than not. Read. And be well!
Good luck!
2007-01-19 07:58:27 · answer #2 · answered by Finish Reading Ugly Rennaissance 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh sweetie...(((((hug)))))
Let's put the cards on the table.
Lack of libido is most likely due to the fact that you no longer trust him. Pardon me, but who wants to f*** a whore?
Your husband is sick in the head. Sex addiction is a real mental illness. Don't blame yourself for his issues. You are a woman and you are doing what you should be doing as a wife. Don't even question that. I don't know where you live, but you can contact a local "Women's center" for help and support - the mental health kind. Meanwhile, leave your husband again and let him know that until he gets his own help and commits to a family life, you won't return. Wherever you went to, go there again to be safe. Remember in order for your family and marriage to work, you need to trust him. If he's hanging out with people you don't know of and you wouldn't want your kids to know, then he's gotta "shape up or ship out". Too many women and children continue to suffer from the actions of thoughtless men. Take back control now while you are angry and have strength. Don't wait for your emotions to take control.
2007-01-19 09:03:20 · answer #3 · answered by El Pajaro Loco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand either, but I detect you two have some marriage issues that you need to resolve before anything gets better. Get counselling soon. See your pastor or other competent relationship counselor. Good Luck
2007-01-19 07:55:38 · answer #4 · answered by snvffy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first...you need to have your OWN bank account in your OWN name only. second...you need to have your credit card numbers changed and forward your mail to a friends or a relatives house. he obviously doesn't have your interests at heart. he only has his. you need to stop living your life for him and you need to stop being a door mat for him. if there is any way...remove your name from that joint checking account and let it be in his name only. he is making his chioices. now what are yours going to be? you can continue to sit there and be miserable or you can do something about it. if you are so unhappy with this existence then you need to do something about it. start living your life for you. stop worrying about him and his lapdances. he probably likes it when you are pregnant cause you are temporary limited by what you can do and therefore gives him more power. i'm not saying this to be mean...but...get a life of your own honey. and continue taking those birth control pills for your own sake. and not for anyone elses. dont' stop working because you need your own source of income.
2007-01-19 08:11:58 · answer #5 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a lot to take in. I don't think you are the problem. Nor is being pregnant the problem. Your husband needs to grow up. If he chooses not to, I would consider separating yourself from the relationship.
2007-01-19 07:54:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its a shame, he obviously never completely regained your trust back.
But since your PG again that could have something to do with the hormones as well.
2007-01-19 07:53:58 · answer #7 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump that jerk! It is not your fault he has these issues. You are not obligated to hop in the sack on cue. Aside from that do you really want someone with his issues raising your children?
2007-01-19 08:13:02 · answer #8 · answered by luvin-life 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question you really need to ask is WHY are you still with this turkey.....get rid of him...best of luck to you!
2007-01-19 07:54:06 · answer #9 · answered by Thankyou4givengmeaheadache 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand...
It's been over a year since he was in this mess. He got it together and changed his ways....
So what are you worried about?
2007-01-19 07:52:19 · answer #10 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋