I divorced 3 years ago and have recently eloped with my love of 2 years. My 2 children were present as well as good friends. The problem is how to deal with ex and his parents who live in same town and being rediculously selfish and horrible about my marriage.
Any advice????
2007-01-19 07:25:34 · 18 answers · asked by Kendra H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you kind of answered it. You had the people at your wedding that really mattered. Three years after a divorce is a looong time for the ex and his parents to be so invested. I guess they can be as stupid as they want to be as long as they don't do it in front of the kids or where the kids can hear it. If they do discuss their negative views in front of the kids or can't manage themselves in the kid's best interest, I guess they won't be seeing much of the kids then. The ex and his parents and the new hubby and you all need to be behind the kids and skip the rest. So...do not defend, engage, or otherwise entertain their nonsense. They have no ability to upset you or yours unless you give it to them. After awhile, when they aren't getting any reinforcement, they will adjust and move on to new topics. Best of luck and congratulations.
2007-01-19 07:34:58 · answer #1 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The operative word here is EX!
They used to have something to say about your life, and how you lived it, but they gave up that privilege. They are NOT YOUR FAMILY! At best, they are friends. At worst, they are your worst enemies.
They are your children's family, and they should have a right to see them, as long as they are RESPECTFUL of you and your wishes. If not, then, re-negotiate their rights for them in court.
I think it was pretty quick of you to get remarried, and drag your kids into a new daddy/situatiuon, but its done. If he is great with those children, then the grandparents need to grow up, and have some class. If he isn't, shame on you for marrying him. The grands have a right to protect them from abuse and neglect.
If it gets really bad, move to the next town over. Don't engage in name-calling or allow it from anyone. Don't talk ugly about those children's family-EVER-they are half him.
Protect your children-#1.
Then have a nice, loving marriage.
Then try to get along with your relatives and friends.
Then try to care what your ex-family thinks.
2007-01-19 07:45:26 · answer #2 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your ex is just worried about the man that will be around his kids? Let them get to know the guy so they will be more comfortable with the situation. HOWEVER they really have no right to expect to be at the wedding thats just a little wierd to me.
2007-01-19 07:33:59 · answer #3 · answered by Courtney C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lucky you, they're not in your life anymore! Try to be a better person then them and don't stoop to their level. They are jealous that you have found happiness and selfish for not wanting that for you.
Enjoy your new life and know you did the right thing for you. Don't waste time on what other people say and think.
2007-01-19 07:30:41 · answer #4 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live your life as normal as possible with your new love and eventually everyone else will come to terms with your marriage. Don't let the ex call the shots on your new found happiness. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-19 07:50:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best way to deal with em is refuse to deal with them at all... Just walk away dont talk, dont argue.. cross the street.. hang up the phone etc etc etc.. if that dosent work get a restraining order.. its cheap and easy...
2007-01-19 07:36:07 · answer #6 · answered by darchangel_3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you said EX, why worry about him and he parents, they are history, you have a new life a head of you. And then in life you cannot make everyone happy, have fun, enjoy life.
2007-01-19 07:36:50 · answer #7 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Revel in your happiness, and be polite to them. If your behavior is above reproach and generous of heart, hopefully they'll come around. If they don't, ignore them and don't worry about it. They're his parents, so it's for him to work it out with them - there's much more history there for them and him than anything that could have to do with you.
2007-01-19 07:32:33 · answer #8 · answered by KC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a simple list of steps to follow:
1) the ex - who cares what he says or does? what bearing does he have in your life now?
2) husband's parents - they'll get over it. your husband should be the one speaking w/ his parents on this subject. if he's too chicken to do so, then you'll have to. simple response: "we did it this way because we wanted to; get over it".
2007-01-19 09:52:01 · answer #9 · answered by gypsysoul52 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex and his parents stopped having any say in your personal decisions the day he became your ex.
Tell them so, and them ignore them.
2007-01-19 07:30:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋