I have made it clear to my husband that I beliave getting on a website for sexual dating is cheating in my eyes,but yet he beleaves aslong as its a computer screen between them it is fine and i am overreacting am I the only one who beliaves this way?this is a local website for local women.
2007-01-19 07:25:03 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband is ignorant.
2007-01-19 07:28:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are not right there with him while he is engaging in sexual conversation with "whoever", then it is cheating. If he is addicted to the anonimity rush (?), then suggest you sit with him when he gets on next time. Maybe he will find it creative forplay, and since you are there and involved it will not be cheating. Make him promise not to have cybersex without you. I think it is sad and strange that people date this way, but now that he has started, you have to find a way to preserve the trust in your marriage, so make it a paired activity, and plan an evening around it. If he enjoys having you there, he may stop doing it alone. Try to make it fun for him, even if it is not your thing. You need to be present on all cyberfun dates, or he will eventually meet one of these locals.
2007-01-19 15:36:14 · answer #2 · answered by Deb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is using a standard that will allow him to continue this behavior because that is what he wants to do. It is just a justification for his actions. Browsing ads might be considered nothing more than a harmless voyeurism sort of along the lines of looking at pornography. If he is contacting any of these individuals he is taking an active role and participating in a relationship of some sort. If he doesn't see that it is simply because he gets something from this outside relationship and he wants it to continue. The local nature of it all is worrisome because the proximity adds to your concern that he might decide to meet with one of these women. If you feel uncomfortable with this than he should stop or perhaps you might compromise and allow him to view the ads at another site less local without contacting anybody on the site.
2007-01-19 15:46:30 · answer #3 · answered by J J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. Your husband is only setting himself up to desire. He'll get online, have some fun, but before long that won't be enough. He'll want to meet for coffee or something and end up cheating on you. Stand your ground. It's not honest for a man to talk to real people, especially local women, and have this type of desire when he's married. He took a vow and needs to keep it. You're not overreacting, your husband is an idiot. Even the strongest willed people can succumb to desire. It's like sitting a chocolate cake in front of an obese person and not expect them to want it. Eventually, they'll dig in. Good luck to you.
2007-01-19 15:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by Shannon L - Gavin's Mommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YeYes, it is cheating.
I don't often promite that Drphil web site, but he does have some good things to say about internet infidelity.
Even if he were just talking to another for lots of time on the phone, he would be sacrificing that time to be with you to talk to her.
Let him know how disrespectful it is, as your husband.
Let him know that adultery and this is what it is, is grounds for divorce.
It is either you or the women.
Okay, playing Devil's advocate:
Let's say that you do nothing, you give him space to explore, you just ignore the sitch and hope it goes away;
He has no incensive to curb his behavior.
It feels good and if you will put up with it, he will continue the process.
Even if you nag him, yet still tolerate it,
he will continue.
Make it unpleasant for him so he won't do it.
the best is for him to understand how disrespectful this is and that it truly hurts you.
If he won't stop this behavior because he cares about you (which is too bad), maybe he will stop because you make it quite uncomfortable for him.
How would he feel if you were engagine in such behavior?
Good luck.
Most people who don't see a problem with it, continue on their childish ways.
Good luck, again.
2007-01-19 15:46:09 · answer #5 · answered by JAN W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you that it IS cheating. He is sharing personal feeling with another woman! A local woman to boot! I would be pi$$ed. He should be sharing those feelings with you and you alone. Sometimes that kind of cheating can be harder than the physical kind.
I hope your hubby comes around and sees the light. How would he feel if you were on chatting with other local guys? Probably not very good.
I wish you all the best!
2007-01-19 15:30:07 · answer #6 · answered by michellecdnd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree with you. It is cheating. Especially a LOCAL website for LOCAL women??? Always go with your gut feeling. If you think he's cheating, then he probably is. Has he changed? Is he not as affectionate with you? Does he come home and immediately want to take a shower? Those are telltale signs of cheating.
2007-01-19 15:37:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, it's cheating. What is he missing at home that he would want to do this? Let's see...a strange woman doesn't have anything bad to think or say about him, no demands, no expectations.....Maybe all he's really getting at in the end is that he needs a little space, personal time, and to be nagged at less. Give him some breathing room and things will probably turn around.
2007-01-19 15:28:51 · answer #8 · answered by Honesty given here! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is cheating. Even though he may have no physical contact with the other person he is still loosing the trust and confidence of the person that should mean the most to him. He should take that energy and time that he is focusing on his cyber lover and channel that love and affection to you. Cheating is bad enough, but doing and being arrogant about it is even worse.
2007-01-19 15:42:47 · answer #9 · answered by ycso133 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is cheating and more so because you have told him how you feel about it. And then website for local women close to home. What will be his next excuse oh I @#$% her, but its not cheating cause I was wearing a condom. I have talked with people who got pissed of at they spouses and cut of the power cables, maybe you should try that, unplug it first though....:O)
2007-01-19 15:33:03 · answer #10 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you must feel. I do the opposite. I chat with a man several thousand miles away. My husband is a Trucker and away a lot. I have been honest with him and he knows I chat with my friend (that is all he is). I have nothing to hide and is just another way of meeting people (I say meeting people, but mean chatting) and saying things that perhaps you wouldn't say to anyone else for fear of upsetting them. I love my husband very much and would not do anything to jeopardise my marriage. If he is only chatting on internet and nothing else and is honest with you, you should trust him. Remember marriage is based on trust
2007-01-19 15:41:20 · answer #11 · answered by Lemon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋