Hello everyone! Im going to be having 2 showers as ALL of my family is in another state. But that shower is going to be AFTER the baby is born so everyone can see her. But i have a friend here where i live that asked to throw me one for my friends here before the baby comes (yes im very lucky)
Here is my problem tho.....
My husbands sisters (5 of them) and Mother do not speak to me. We had huge blow up arguments over me not wanting his mother in the delivery room with me and many other horrible things they have said to me. So my question is do i have put them on the invite list? It would be really akward if they came...
would it be horrible to just have the shower and not tell them?
2007-01-19 07:12:43 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Be the bigger person and invite them. They won't come. And that way they can't cause more drama by saying you are keeping the baby from them.
2007-01-19 07:17:01 · answer #1 · answered by noodles 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh, the joys of having a baby and all the feelings it brings out. I understand how you don't want your in-law in the delivery room with you...I was that way too. I didn't want anyone but my Hubby. I was lucky, my in-law seemed to understand (at least she was cool about it). You should extend the "olive branch" and invite them to the shower. Having a baby is a very special time for the whole family, as new life should be. Just because you don't want her in the room doesn't mean you should exclude her from the waiting room or showers or helping put together the baby room... As hard as it might be right now, you really want your child to have a great relationship with the whole family so you really need to reach out here.... You don't want to regret it later. She really must love you, or she wouldn't be hurt to be excluded from the room...and you wouldn't have had the sisters jumping in. Give her something important and meaningful to do...involve her in other ways...hopefully it will help and you all can be a happy family when the big event arrives!! Best wishes, Good luck and Congrats!
2007-01-19 07:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you should invite them if you want to put all hard feelings under the bridge. I think that it would just make things worse if they found out about your shower from other family members or friends. As for your mother in law, she shouldnt have acted like a child. If you dont want her in the delivery room that is your choice. The delivery room is a VERY personal experience and should be only shared between you and your husband or the people you choose (the ones you are comfortable with having in there with you!). I had a baby shower with my first, and invited all my husbands family and NOT a SINGLE person from his side showed up! My advice to you is just invite them, and if they show up they show up. Atleast you wont be the one looking like the immature one! The in laws will eventually have to show their faces again if they want to be a part of this childs life right?
2007-01-19 07:23:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this baby shower is only going to be for your friends given by a friend, then I see no reason to invite any relatives. If your other shower is for your side of the family, then it would be appropriate for someone on your husband's side of the family to have a shower as well. Or, you can invite them as a good faith gesture, but being as how the relationship is, I wouldn't expect any of them to come. Regardless if you do or don't invite them, most likely they will be upset either way, so do what is most comfortable to you. That is good that you stuck to your guns about not wanting your mother-in-law in the delivery room. I think that is one of the most ridiculous things to expect and to get upset over. I doubt very much that your mother-in-law would have wanted HER mother-in-law in the delivery room when she had her children.
2007-01-19 07:28:51 · answer #4 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that you are having such drama during your pregnancy. You are in the right to not allow his mother in the delivery room if that's what you want. She should be more understanding. As for the baby shower, it's important that you are comfortable and happy that day. So, if it takes for you to not invite his side of the family so be it. The ideal thing would be that you all sat down and made up, but if that is not possible then go ahead and enjoy your baby shower with no remorse.
2007-01-19 07:23:42 · answer #5 · answered by ana isabel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Well, if it was up to me, I wouldn't invite them! I'm 6 weeks along but I already feel like everyone should sympathize and agree with me, lol! Sweetie, your baby shower should be fun and everyone is going to want to dote upon your new baby. If they are being STUBBORN about YOUR choice about who is in the delivery room, then let them miss out! I don't know what kind of people they are, but it seems like they do not have a guilty conscience at ALL. They should be behind you 100%.
The best thing to happen though, would be for them to apologize and for all of you to make up. You don't need any added stress to your life, being pregnant is enough, isn't it? Maybe your hubby can talk to them, and perhaps coax them into apologizing, maybe even open their eyes that they are utterly wrong in the situation. Good luck with everything hunni! I hope you do not let this bring you down!! Congrats:)
2007-01-19 07:21:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would be the bigger person and invite them. Do you really want to be fighting with your family during this special and important time? Even if you don't want them there and you are happy not speaking to them (I know how it feels to dislike an in-law), inviting them will show that you aren't going to be immature about it. If they don't come, you will know what kind of people they really are and you don't need that stress in your life-especially now! If they do come, would it be so horrible to make up with them for the sake of keeping peace within your family?
But then again, if what they said was really that horrible and you are ready to totally remove them from your life, then do whatever makes you happy!
Good luck with the new baby! =)
2007-01-19 07:23:52 · answer #7 · answered by New*Mommy 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, thats a tough question. If they are still on speaking terms with your husband and they still plan on being in the childs life you should invite them. Not inviting them could make the matter worse. But if they are not speaking to you or your husband & do not plan on being in the childs life, then no I would not invite them.
But, this is only an opinion & you dont have to do anything you dont want to do. (Even let her in the delivery room)
2007-01-19 07:35:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly (I HATE my mother-in-law, she's a witch and SO rude) but it will just makes things worse. I know how you feel, but it's your husband's family...they aren't going anywhere! Be a bigger person and invite them. Maybe this could be the beginning of patching things up? Either way, you'll look like the better person, even if they don't show up because you still took the chance to think of them. It's the dreaded daughter-in-law position I think! I didn't want my mother-in-law at my shower for this baby either, but she's still invited (just hoping she doesn't show up lol, but no one has to know that!). Good Luck!!
2007-01-19 07:22:02 · answer #9 · answered by angie_laffin927 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put them on the list to invite them. If they come they should be on their best behavior. This is a day for you. It also shows you are a bigger person for getting over what every happened and inviting them to the shower. The balls in their court now. Good luck with your baby enjoy her.
2007-01-19 07:19:31 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica H 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it would be horrible at all. After all, it's your time & your baby. who should be allowed in delivery is up to you & they should respect that. i only wanted my husband w/ me & when my own mom came in he ordered her out. also, a friend of mine isn't speaking to her in-laws either & didn't even tell them she was pregnant again. we had a shower for her & didn't invite them. and her sis-in-law had a baby & didn't invite her to the shower either. i think you should be totally comfortable & relaxed & not have to worry about what will happen if they come. enjoy your new baby :o)
2007-01-19 07:25:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋