Should child support be denied if woman is unfaithful?

Question

Something needs to be done about women who marry a guy, has his kids then cheats on him and ends the marriage (or just flat out decides to kick him out) Then she turns around and demands all kinds of money from him leaving him penniless and still looking like the bad guy no matter what he does.

Wouldn't it be better if when the woman's actions result in the end of the marriage (unless she claims abuse) then child support in the form of cash (Dad can still pay for half of some things) should be denied. This would force these women to think about how their actions affect their children. They would at least think about their bank accounts before they go wh**ing themselves out to the neighborhood.

By the way I am a woman who ended my marriage by choice. I had 2 children at the time and did not take a penny of child support because I made the decision to leave and felt it was my responsibility to support my kids.

Their father paid half of their medical bills and clothing.

I'm not saying the children should be denied support so much as the s**t mother should not have control of the money

Answer 1

No, Child support has nothing to do with the woman. It is to support the children. If a man has a child he should take care of it.

Answer 2

I don't think that the children should suffer because of the parent's actions. I do believe that men or women who cheat on their spouses should be held accountable - something desperately needs to be done about 'no fault' divorces. There's always someone at fault. People don't just 'grow apart' - love is a choice and to stop loving someone or cheat on them is a conscious decision!!!
But I disagree with your question that child support should be denied. No one ever stops to think about how the kids lives are affected by their actions. How is it that a woman cheating is any different than a man cheating? Men just seem to take it for granted that they can do it and get away with it - that their wife will have to put up with it because he is the 'provider'.
Perhaps the institution of marriage needs to be changed to keep up with the times and flagging moralities. Perhaps lease with option to buy is the way society is heading. Or just make sure every single marriage CONTRACT has a clause to handle whatever situation that arises - such as infidelity, terminal illness, weight gain, the kids aren't what were expected, etc.
Everyone should be responsible for their choices and realize that marriage and having children is a long-term choice and commitment. If they don't plan on being there 100 percent for the long-haul then maybe they should just stay a swinging single. But don't make the kids suffer ones mistakes by fighting child support.

Answer 3

I think the law should be which ever spouse is cheating should not get the children. They are too busy having an affair to really care about the kids. The faithful spouse should get the children and the cheating spouse should have to pay child support.
If the wife is cheating then the custody should go to the father and the wife pays the support. If the husband is cheating then the wife gets the children and child support. Why do we give money to a cheating spouse. Most of the time the money goes to pay car payments or finger nails, and hairdos for the ex wife. The kids don't see half of it. I can say the guys do better in putting the money directly to the kids.

Answer 4

I don't think the courts should punish children because of their mothers' actions. Maybe deny spousal support, but the kids shouldn't be punished. I think maybe a good alternative would be just to have the dad pay for things directly (instead of a check or cash going to the mother) for monthly things in an amount equal to child support. Without this financial support, many kids won't stand a chance. No one should ever pay child support in cash, there is no way to trace it. If the mother wants more money, she can just say "I never got it" and the court will have no proof that it was paid. Bad mistake on dad's part. It could send him to the cleaners.

Answer 5

I have to say I agree. I think that the bills FOR THE CHILDREN should be split. And parents should get EQUAL amount of time with the kids. In my opinion this every other weekend crap is a horrible thing. That man or woman has to pay extra money for a new place to live, plus pay out that extra payment of child support, and still has food to buy when the kids are there, school clothes, dance class, half of school pictures, etc...IT'S A HUGE EXPENSE, all because they don't want to be together anymore. It's very rarely FAIR for both parties. And I understand that there are dirtbag parents that don't pay for their kids, but there are some that REALLY get screwed and by no fault of thier own. I think if someone cheats, they should lose all rights to child support and to SOLE custody. As long as the other person is making sure the kids are healthy , happy, and getting what they need, that should be all that they owe. This child support can get up to insane amounts of money.

Answer 6

There are many reasons a spouse might be unfaithful. To deny child support though is depriving the child in a way. The biological father still has a responsibility to the children. It is not their fault the mother is seeing others outside the primary relationship. The woman you describe seems to have anger and revenge driving her. That is very wrong of her. One day her children will learn the truth and leave her alone in her senior years.

Answer 7

That's just stupid. Child support has nothing to do with the mother of the children - except that it is her responsibility to use it wisely for thier benefit and not her own.

A woman does not demand money for child support. It's awarded by the court for the child's welfare and she has no control over what the amount is. It's all dependent on the father's income and how many children there are to support.

You know, people just really need to stop and think about having children and not just let it happen. Is the relationship going to last? Is this someone you want to be the parent of your child? I seems to me that people just have babies because they can and want one with no looking into the future.

And what about the guy who marries, has kids and then runs off without paying a dime toward the support of his children?

I too am divorced - after 18 years of marriage- with three kids. He cheated, lied, abused, scammed, witheld money from the family - you name it. I loved him with all my heart and loved my family, but I couldn't take it anymore as it was destroying my soul. I took only the child support due for my children because it is owed to them. I left everything else for him to sort out. I am blessed because the man I love has taken on the support of my children as his own as their father (who is a lawyer) refuses to.

Answer 8

I agree it's terrible when a woman does that kind of thing to end her marriage. I disagree about the child support. That is for those children not her. The money is supposed to be used to make sure they are housed, fed, clothed, etc. Most women don't make enough to support their children the way they need to be. I do think that if the mother is as promiscuous that maybe the husband should seek custody.

Answer 9

Remember, the CHILDREN weren't unfaithful. Dad might think his ex is going out on shopping sprees, but kids grow, ALWAYS are needing new shoes, etc. No woman leaves a marriage for the money. Don't punish the kids, or EVER put them in the middle, using them as messengers or some sort of revenge. By the way, it takes two to tango. Was Dad such a prince or communicator, etc. that Mom was so happy that she had to cheat? Or did someone else make her feel good about herself?

Answer 10

Child support is just that. CHILD support, not ex-spouse support. Since both parents were involved in making the children, then both parents should be financially responsible for them. CHILD SUPPORT should be used for the CHILDREN, not to line the pockets of the custodial parents, but to provide for the children's needs.

Remember, the CHILDREN didn't mess up, the mother/father did. Why should the children be punished by not receiving the support?

How do you propose to CONTROL the money?