im almost 18 and im wid a older much older man we want a baby and i cant understand why people are so against it!!! if it makes me happy why should it matter help me?????
2007-01-19 06:59:16 · 23 answers · asked by kitty kat 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Are you married to this older man? If not, than I'm against you also. Stay in school, get an education. By the looks of it you are not very mature, or educated. A baby is a huge responsibility! They are not just cute little accessories.
2007-01-19 07:04:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
how much older is the man? I find that a little creepy that he would want to have a child with a child. Dont take offese it's just that i remember being 18 and thinking i knew it all but looking back i was still sucha teenager. babies change everything and take away your freedom enjoy being young get your life together, then have a baby. Im 23 but have done a lot of maturing since i was 18, I am now 33 weeks pregnant and NO ONE told me all the hell pregnancy can be, not somethin i would want to go through at 18. Think about it, i hope you change your mind youll be thankful later. IF you do have a baby of course you will love him/her but it wont be easy and at times you will wish that you waited. Plus who knows how long you will want to be with this guy, you're only 18 and you'r ready to give yourself to some old dude forever? ALso a few of my friends had babies around your age and it was a struggle for them, not being able to go out with friends, not being able to afford getting all the hottest clothes, just random stuff that you never even think about until you're actually in the situation. HOpe you make the right choice.
2007-01-19 15:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by estkijedsco 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think that everyone who is unhappy about it is more concerned that being mean. having a child is a huge responsiblity, basically 18 years of responsibility. Saying you want a child because it will make you happy is not a really good indicator that you are ready to be a mother.
Now I am not someone who will tell you what to do, as this will be a decision that you will make on your. But before you go and throw away your birth control pills, talk to the man you are with. Is he truly going to be with you when this happens? does he want a child? Then you, yourself have to ask yourself some questions too. what happens if he does leave you, can you do this yourself? Where are you going to get money to feed this little one? Can you work and be a mom?
My mother always told me that motherhood is a privliege not a right. Anyone can have a child but it takes a true woman to be a mother. Think of this: If you can change from being selfish(caring about your needs) into being selfless (caring about your baby's needs), then maybe you are ready.
Don't jump the gun until you have all the info.
Good luck.
2007-01-19 15:07:55 · answer #3 · answered by craxygirlnextdoor 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Well, I cannot judge your decision because I don't know you personally to say if you are mature enough to support a child and partner but I don't think that at 18years someone should be so eager to have a child because it takes much more than what you probably envision. I realise that you did not mention his age, why? If you were comfortable with it you would not hide it. Firstly I would say give yourself some more time to know this man. How long have you known him anyway? can you see yourself married to this man and building a family? Is he employed and ambitious and supportive? Does his good qualities outweigh his bad? There are alot of factors that contribute to your decision because in the end it will not only affect you and him but this little child you wish to carry. Think about it before you rush into something you are not ready for. Whatever your decision may be make sure that you have the support of your family and friends because if anything goes wrong with this man they are the ones you have to turn to.
2007-01-19 15:15:54 · answer #4 · answered by redz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Happiness is a choice, you chose to be happy or not! Having a baby may sound like it will make you happier, but that is only true if you are already happy...I know I sound crazy, it took me 24 years to figure that out! If that man (older younger what ever) really wanted what is best for you, and your happiness, he would marry you before putting such a huge decision on the plate of some one still very young! I really think that if you were secure in your decision you would not be on here asking for others to support something you already know in your heart to be not such a good decision.
People are not against you...They are giving you the answer to your question...Whether or not you chose to hear it is another thing. How could so many people be wrong??? Telling you to wait until "you" are sure is not foolish or rude! I tell you again if you knew what you wanted you wouldn't be on here. If you knew having that baby was the absolute best thing you wouldn't be here...But you are hear so listen... Wise people listen & learn, foolish people act with out care or responsibilty! You seem wise for asking for help, are you wise enough to take that help!?
2007-01-19 15:08:30 · answer #5 · answered by Boppysgirl 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Can you afford a baby?
Do you have your own stable and safe home?
Are you still in high school?
Do you want to go to college first?
Do you and your partner have a healthy and happy relationship that you are sure is not going to change once you are pregnant?
Are you ready for the responsibility?
Is your age the only reason why people are against it?
Please think about it first-you have your whole life ahead of you!
Think about the life you want to give your baby and if you're capable of providing that at this time.
Good Luck =)
2007-01-19 15:44:23 · answer #6 · answered by New*Mommy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, I would really need to know more info, but look you are young' and I know you wont listen to me or anyone for that matter, but do not have a baby, if you wanna be with this guy , well so be it' I don't think its a good idea but just so you do the right thing try this say OK, if its really love them stay with him for 2 or 3 years and if you are still with him then try to have a baby' look you don't want to hear that its a bad idea to be with him or don't have a baby, but everyone that's older knows more, trust me please, do not do it, you have your whole life why would you wanna do that now so early, its not good and it wont be good, and if u do it then well you will look back and ask why? but good luck with all you do and what ever you do' i will pray for you to make the right decision, don't mess up your life go out and follow your dreams make good friends have fun, you have everything going for you' your life, if you have a baby, that's it, your life now is all about that baby. no more you, it will be you and him or her you have plenty of time for that....
2007-01-19 15:10:27 · answer #7 · answered by That girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because it's not about you.... it's about the unborn child. Just because it makes you happy doesn't mean its right. You are only 18, you don't have an education (high school doesn't mean anything anymore), you still live at home, and your immature (I say that because of the "it makes me happy so why not?" comment you made). Financially, mentally, and emotionally you are not ready.
Are you prepared to be a single mom when your 'much older man' decides he wants someone else?
Are you prepared to give up time with your friends to take care of your child?
Are you prepared to give up new things for yourself so you can get new things for your child?
Are you prepared to stay awake all night with your child when he/she gets sick?
Are you prepared to never have alone time again with your much older man?
And finally.... Are you prepared to take care of this child all day and all night for the next 18 years?
2007-01-19 15:15:18 · answer #8 · answered by *Just Married* 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are only just about 18. What makes you happy now may not make you happy five or ten years from now. If you really want a baby try babysitting on your freetime. See what you would actually be getting yourself into. For some reason, our world has turned into if it makes me happy, then it has to be right, but that is not necessarily so. If you had a habit of stealing things off of shelves in a convenient store because it "makes you happy" or makes you feel good inside, does that mean that stealing is right and ok? You should never take the decision of deciding to have a baby lightly. It is a decision that will affect you and the father for the rest of your lives.
2007-01-19 15:08:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
If you have completed your education, have a good job, and can support a child, then you are right.
If you did not finish school, and are on any type of government assistance, (or being supported by parents or someone else) then I think you should consider waiting until you are in a better position.
Having a baby makes it a lot harder to complete your education, or whatever training you want in order to be a mature, self-supporting individual.
2007-01-19 15:22:07 · answer #10 · answered by who me? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋