My husband goes to the bar every weekend. I know he's not cheating, he works all week while I stay home, but I'm pregnant and think he doesn't need to go all the time. Am I overrreacting?
2007-01-19 06:56:56 · 46 answers · asked by mellow_violet 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, he has a right to have his fun...
2007-01-19 06:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I don't think it's excessive at all. Think about the time you spend during the week, are you both spending time together? If you are, then I can understand his need to visit his bar on the weekend. I'm assuming he goes one night of the weekend. He works all week and needs some time for himself. I don't see any problem, and no you are not overreacting either. You seem secure in the relationship by saying you know he's not cheating on you. Maybe you could encourage him to go to his bar once in a while? That might please him so much instead of worrying he's doing the wrong thing.
Hope this was helpful.
2007-01-19 07:24:06 · answer #2 · answered by daughter_helping 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are right to react the way you do. If he works all week then he needs time to spend with his wife and try to find out if there is anything he can do to help you deal with your pregnancy. Once or twice a month of going to a bar to unwind is not bad but every weekend is just a little too much for a family man. You need to let him know how you really feel.
2007-01-19 07:07:57 · answer #3 · answered by AV8R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...I thought I was the only one in this situation. I'm also pregnant and my boyfriend insists on going out every weekend, plus some weeknights. He asks me to go with him, but the last place that I want to be is in a smoke-filled bar. It's not that I mind being alone, but I think every weekend is excessive. So my answer to your question is no, you are not overreacting. Either tell your husband how you feel or just let him get it out of his system, because his bar-weekends are numbered!! Plus, he needs to be there for you during your time of need.....you probably feel "alone" in your pregnancy like I do. I feel for ya. Hang in there and good luck.
2007-01-19 07:05:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you are overreacting at all. I find it bad horrifying that men think this is ok. It gives the rest of us a very bad name. You are pregnant, I would assume HE got you that way, so why doe she not stay home with you. If this is how he is acting now plan on raising that child by yourself, because his friends are more important then family.
Make a compromise, tell him he can spend Friday and Saturday with you and then have the guys over to watch the game on Sunday. The money he will save on beers on the weekend he can buy pizza at the door.
Best of luck and tell him to read this.
Dear Father to Be,
GROW UP, and take on the responsibilities you are creating.
Coach
2007-01-19 07:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by ferretcoach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not. Every weekend is not OK. Even and actually especially if you are pregnant he deeds to be there for you and make sure you find other activities you can both enjoy as a couple, there is such a thing as dinner and a movie, and if he is at a bar every weekend he is either an alcoholic or a clueless immature jerk. Make sure you get your needs met, otherwise it will get worse when the child is born.
2007-01-19 07:03:09 · answer #6 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he needs to be a little more respectful of your situation. perhaps he is young and doesn't really understand what a remarkable thing is going on inside you and how much it is going to change your lives.
If i were you I'd try to lay some guilt on him and just tell it like it is, that you don't feel comfortable being alone during this time, you don't even need to know why, but it's a sincere feeling. Tell him to just go one evening per weekend for an hour or two but 3 or 4 times a month should be enough.
If he wants to hang at the bar so much he should not have gotten married. bars are for escape, and what's so bad about your home and his life that he feels the need to escape? It's going to take a bit for him to realize what's going on if this is his first kid, but once the child is born he will figure it out pretty fast, and then he'll find his drinking days are even more limited!!!
Time to grow up and be a supportive husband and father.
(now just don't tell my wife that or she'll never let me go over to my buddies house and watch the game on the big screen tv!!!! ;-)
2007-01-19 07:00:16 · answer #7 · answered by rooster2381 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Is this your first child? Some men are wild up until the first baby is born, or a little while afterward, because they don't understand the gravity of the situation. If he did this before you were pregnant, I wouldn't worry about it yet. He just doesn't understand. And really, they aren't carrying the child, so it is difficult for them to understand. However, if he keeps it up after the baby comes, I'd be ticked and have a serious issue with it. He needs to start being a dad then and the last few weeks before the due date, just in case. You don't want him drunk in the delivery room when you go into labor on a Friday night. I had a boyfriend whose uncle went golfing and got hammered 3 days before his wife's due date. They couldn't find him when she went into labor. When they finally got him there, they got him coffee and he dropped it in the delivery room and almost passed out drunk. The doctor kicked him out. Irresponsible man-child.
2007-01-19 07:50:26 · answer #8 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not overreacting. Now is a time when you need him the most. You need to be cuddled and made to feel important and beautiful. You and your husband should be creating your safe nest to bring your baby home to. Some men run a little crazy with the first pregnancy. You don't say it's your first, but, I assumed it was. My husband didn't get crazy until the third. All that responsibility just seems to get to them. The good ones settle down after the baby is here. Hang in there sweetie. Congratualations!!
2007-01-19 07:09:58 · answer #9 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sitting at home on the weekends while he is at the bar? if you are, get up and go girl! you may be pregnant but there are still lots of things a pregnant woman can do. go out with some friends. go have fun! men need their time away also. give him at least some of the weekends.
2007-01-19 07:04:13 · answer #10 · answered by Dallas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am 6 months pregnant and if my husband went out to the bar every weekend i would be so mad.
he needs to start acting like an adult, and own up to his responsibilities, you need him much more than the bar does.
maybe talk to him about going out 1 night every other weekend or so, maybe once a month.
2007-01-19 07:14:35 · answer #11 · answered by TN girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋