my wife has become very stand off-ish,she will not talk with me,about her feelings.she does'nt want to spend time like before I became ill. I need help!
2007-01-19 06:56:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How long have you been ill? Are you confined to a wheelchair or bed? Are you still mobile?
Okay, since you haven't answered these questions it's hard to know what stage you're in. It would be easier to advise if I knew if you're still working, have an active sex life, totally dependant on her, or where you are exactly in the illness. Either way, I can't see myself leaving my husband no matter what stage in the illness. I'm a nurse however so I think it would be easier for me than for some. Illness sometimes really freaks people out. It doesn't sound like you can really talk to her since she has sort of become an introvert. Perhaps you just point blank ask her what she wants now. I do think, however, that she can't stop her life due to your illness. If she needs some time with friends, support group etc., I think you should honor that. She is going through a tough time also. By no means do I think this gives her an excuse to abandon you. Not only has your life dramatically changed but hers has also. Everyone handles it differently. Maybe she just needs some time to let the dust settle. Again, you didn't say what stage you're in so it's hard to judge some of these things. I think the first step is to ask her for an honest answer about where she wants to go from here. Hope this helps and God bless you both!
2007-01-19 07:00:28 · answer #1 · answered by squealy68 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's sad but it sometimes takes a tragedy to show you just what type of person your spouse really is. My shallow wife did not want anything to do with me after I lost my good paying job. We are now divorced, and I see my losing that job as blessing now, rather then finding out how she was when I would have really needed her, like if were ill. Best wishes to you, try to seek help from support groups of others that live with ALS, you will find people there who will not be mean and stand offish to you.
2007-01-19 15:10:51 · answer #2 · answered by schustercj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get in touch with the Muscular Dystrophy Association for assistance, family suppport groups, and phycisians specifically trained in the treatment of ALS. Your wife may just be frightened, as you both have a right to be with this diagnosis, and needs some education and support form others dealing with this illness.
2007-01-19 15:18:13 · answer #3 · answered by Country girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad when a spouse does not honor their vow "in sickness and in health, for better, for worse". You need to have a heart to heart talk with her about what her intentions are, her plans now that you are ill. It's either she is having a hard time accepting this new difficult situation or she may be thinking of walking away. Either way, you need to face the truth with her so you can prepare yourself and think about your next move.
2007-01-19 15:05:39 · answer #4 · answered by AV8R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to find someone that appreciates you. Things happen in life that you can't control but your spouse shouldn't be the first to turn their back on you. Maybe think about counseling? If she is not willing to take any steps to help recover the marriage I would separate from her. You don't need to deal with that. Find someone that does like to spend time with you and at least acknowledge you.
2007-01-19 15:46:07 · answer #5 · answered by NLH823 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TO ALL THAT ANSWERED THE QUESTION........THANK YOU!!! THAT IS MY HUSBAND THAT HAS ALS. HE HAS HAD IT FOR 1 1/2 YEARS AND IS IN A WHEELCHAIR HE HARDLY HAS ANY USAGE OF HIS HANDS OR LEGS. HE IS AT THE POINT TO WHERE EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE DONE FOR HIM. SOME OF THE ANSWERS WAS A LITTLE HURTFUL BUT I AM GLAD THAT THERE WAS BOTH POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE RESPONSE TO THIS QUESTION. IT IS VERY HARD AND I HONESTLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM TAKING EACH DAY AS IT COMES SOME ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS. BUT I CAN TELL ALL OF YOU ON THIS IS FOR SURE. I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!
2007-01-20 00:47:37 · answer #6 · answered by melissa b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry you are going thru this time in your life. perhaps going to a support group with others whose lives have been affected with this disease. and if she doesn't go with you then dont push it but you should go. and perhaps you can keep a journal just for her. and when it comes time that you can't communicate to her she can always have your words on paper. and remember she's suffering this disease in a different way. she has to watch the man she loves go thru this. so in your journal perhaps you can tell her what she means to you and that you forgive her. just take ONE step at a time. it's okay if nothing is solved right now at this moment. just live thru it, because when a raging river has no bridge to cross over with, then you have to gather your strength and cross it anyway. take care and GOD BLESS,lissette
2007-01-19 15:04:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pact you made in the begining was 'for better or for worse', in sickness and in health, and 'til death do you part. Remind her and if she is not willing to cope with the situation, leave her, she's heartless!
2007-01-19 15:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's probably in deep pain and doesn't want to display it. You need to sit her down and talk with her or try counseling. It's only going to get worser.
2007-01-19 15:08:24 · answer #9 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as much as i hate to say this but you have to start thinking about getting into a nursing home your wife dont no how to deal with your illness
2007-01-19 15:11:52 · answer #10 · answered by Neil G 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋