I'm 30 and been married for 10 yrs and I'm still not sure about having a baby. Somebody please give me your

Question

perspective. Why don't I feel the urge yet?

Answer 1

You sound like you could be my dreamgirl!!!!

Answer 2

Like a couple of other answerers said - you may just not be ready yet. Does your husband want a child or is he content with the way things are? Are you asking yourself this because your family or friends keep nudging you? Are you happy with your life - and your relationship with your spouse - just the way things are?

There are a lot of factors that may be affecting you. You may be fulfilled enough with your husband, work, friends, etc. Or you may not feel settled enough in your life to want to shake it up even more by adding a child. A baby can be - is - so life altering that nothing will ever be the same. Your hubby can take care of himself (to some extent hopefully, lol) - an infant cannot. You will be it's sole provider for everything. Perhaps you've seen what other new parents go through (usually the less glamorous stuff) - often leading to divorce because one or both parents weren't ready or are too self-absorbed to give as much of themselves as what a child needs. Maybe you don't know enough other couples that have children and still manage to lead fulfilling lives. Hard to say. Unfortunately this is one of those questions that only you can answer. In the meantime, I wouldn't worry or sweat it. If and when you are ready, you will know it.

Answer 3

You have to be ready emotionally - it's a big step that will change the rest of your life. If you don't have the urge, you shouldn't have children just because society expects you to. I am almost 32 and don't want or haven't had the urge to have kids yet either. Marriage doesn't have to be just for baby making and populating the Earth. It can just be for you and your spouse. I would advise not to worry - does your spouse feel the same? Thankfully, mine agrees with me about holding off.

Answer 4

We're in the same boat here. Is either one thing or another that stops U. For me, I'm waiting to be financially stable.............I was attending college and trying to find a job in my field. Then I want to allow myself a couple of years to get adjusted to my job and financial status. My boy and I are on the same pace. Things will eventually get better and then we'll plan to have a baby. I think many people just jump to it and agonize about their bad decision and others just wait it out to the last minute. U are young and still able to have up to 5 children. Do not worry so much about it. Istead find what's holding U back anc work towards that. But don't wait it out because Ur eggs are at its fullest until You hit 35 years. After that U have great risks and waiting this long deserved a healthy child. Good luck!

Answer 5

I am 41 and had my children young 17 & 20. They are both now grown and my oldest(23) has 2 childern of her own on the other hand my son who will soon be 21 doesn't want children. I am glad I had them young because I now can fully enjoy my grandchildren which is far different then my parents who had my brother and myself in thier 30's they have passed. If you really are unsure that you want children, then maybe you should see someone and talk with them about why you are so unsure. But please don't wait much longer to make your mind up take it from someone who knows both sides you don't want to be in your 50/60's when your grandkids come along.

Answer 6

If you are having doubts, then don't. Besides this world is so corrupt, I wouldn't want to raise a child in these times. Having a child does not complete you as a woman, anyway. If you and your husband are happy and content then leave it that way. Children won't make problems go away. They don't ask to be brought in to this world, sometimes it may be for our own selfish reasons. If you have a career, pursue it. Feel good about yourself as a woman, pray that the Lord will give you peace about it. And if it is His will, it will happen and He will give you the help you need to raise and love it. Good luck with whatever you decide. God bless.

Answer 7

I turned thirty the fifth of this month. I was scheduled to have my tubes tied and split this month. Well last year in May I took my exam and PT and it was positive. Just when i thought I was not ready and my husband (ten years) and self were dead set that we didn't want children....we have a bundle of joy on the way in a few more weeks. Give yourself another few months and see where it takes you. If you have to hang around friends and family that have babies. Go to malls that have baby playgrounds . If none of these scenes and children move you---then bi-golly you aren't ready.. But talk it over with hubby and see what he thinks as well. Good Luck

Answer 8

Some women just don't have the urge. My sister never wanted to have kids until she got pregnant after 11 years of being with her husband. Now she doesn't know what she would do without her daughter. I think if you want kids you have them, and if you don't then you don't.

Answer 9

If you don't want a child, then by all means don't have one! Not everyone was meant for motherhood. If you are frightened of pregnancy or motherhood in general...that is pretty normal! It is leaping into the unknown with a lifelong commitment! If you do eventually want a child, have faith! Your child will be worth it, there is no love like that for your child.

Answer 10

If you are not sure then you have made the decision. Don't have a baby until you are sure. Something is holding you back from being sure...don't worry about what it is... it's there, so do not bring a child into uncertainty.

Answer 11

I'm almost 37 and never married and I still dont want kids. Never did. I dont think everyone has to be a parent. Maybe you just really dont want kids.