I hope someone recovered from divorce can help. I’m a 24 y/o woman. A 29 y/o man asked me out. He was a little nervous during the date but I really enjoyed it. The next week I found out he divorced 8 months ago. We talked about it, it didn’t change my desire to go out again. We’d been out another 6x, things were going slowly, a little nervously, but I’m delighted to spend time w/ him. Then he became icy on a dinner date and hasn’t acted interested. Finally he told me it was his fav place to go w/ his ex, he didn’t realize how weird it would be w/ someone new, he’s realized he isn’t ready to start a relationship, but thinks I’m an “awesome girl.” I’ll still see him through work and because I’m still very interested, I’d like to be supportive, show interest if appropriate, but give him space to work through his issues. I’m not sure what to do now, and I’m dealing with my disappointment since I was excited to meet and date him. If you’ve experienced something similar, I value your advice!
2007-01-19 06:32:31 · 9 answers · asked by goodgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think it's your responsibility to nurse a man back to social health. You're not his therapist, and if you want a romantic relationship, he's not able to offer you anything healthy or normal right now because he's neither. I think I'd tell him to call when he's managed to move on with his life. You were excited over what you thought he was, and disappointed to learn he's not all that you imagined. Tell him to call you in 6 months and stop seeing him and stop hoping to "be there" for him. He really has nothing to offer you right now.
2007-01-19 06:39:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her the space she needs and wants. Mayebe she's trying to figure out her life as far as her and her son and she needs time alone. Comfort her by letting her know your there no matter what and that you'll wait for here if your willing to . Continue to be friends, but make sure that her space is given. Maybe send her a text or im in the morning telling her 1 good compliment about her, i.e your a great mother. She'll appreciate the gesture and keep you close. I'm sorry your dealing with this, but trust Me, if its destiny, you two will find your way back. Hope i Helped Xoxoxo
2016-05-23 22:05:07 · answer #2 · answered by Judith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 months is quite a while to start getting "over" the divorce. I mean, it does take some people longer, but one would hope that after 8 months the person would be at least functional and relatively drama-free. I think, best you can do at this point is to back off completely, and let him "call the shots"; don't put your dating life on hold, go out with other people. He might come around in 6 months, a year, or not at all. "Drama" is not good for a relationship. Good luck. (I've gotten over a divorce myself; it was bad, but I was back in control of my life within a few months of the separation.)
2007-01-19 06:51:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be patient with him and love and date and support him through this time... He needs to heal and get past the pain of the divorce.... At least he is being honest with you about his feelings so that is a good thing.... I am so glad you like and enjoy spending time with him.
2007-01-19 07:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be his friend but don't be overbearing about having a relationship. Like wowwee said, he's not as ready as he thought he was to date. You should probably move on to another relationship in the meantime.
2007-01-19 06:46:39 · answer #5 · answered by Carlover29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple--if he's not over his divorce, he's not suitable to date anyone. Go to a healthier relationship.
2007-01-19 06:37:37 · answer #6 · answered by wowwee 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you must give him time to emotionally heal from his divorce. but, if you want more than just friendship, don't be a pillow for him to cry on. be you. it's a cr*p shoot toots. i know, i'm in the same boat.
2007-01-19 09:44:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's probably tuff for the guy cause i know how he feels cause it's hard for me also to be with another girl cause i still think about my wife even though we;ve been seperated for a 1yr
2007-01-19 06:41:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE OBVIOUSLY WAS NOT READY FOR THE DATING SCENE... but his attraction to you proves that he's willing to try. give him more time and be his strong shoulder, you could reap benefits that the ex didn't... FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS.
2007-01-19 06:40:51 · answer #9 · answered by afreeca812 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋