my wife and i have been married for 2 years. we were both partiers when we were married. i chose to give my life over to God and she will not stop smoking marijuana and taking pain medication. i have met someone at work and have been talking to her frequently. she also is married to a low life in a similar situation. we have pretty well fell for one another, but will not get physical because of our spiritual beliefs. i love her and she loves me. i asked my wife to leave for a little while so i couls sort things out. she is unwilling to work, change her life, clean house while i work or anything productive. i hate divorce, but i am faced with something i have no control over. i work 60+ hours per week and support her and her habits and have since we met. should i pursue this married woman that loves me, makes me happy and will help me, or keep trying to get my wife into rehab and continue to be miserable ? any advice is appriciated. thanks.
2007-01-19 05:45:59 · 15 answers · asked by distressed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get a divorce first before you pursue anything.
2007-01-19 05:51:30 · answer #1 · answered by DAD_to_3 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you in no way understand what you have till that's long previous i understand which you suggested which you have heard all of it and that i do no longer doubt you yet sooner or later the buzz will fade i became as quickly as interior an identical boat and the flame looked as though it might flicker, fade, and die after a on an identical time as 5 years is an prolonged time to some human beings and a few human beings could make 5 years seem lots longer yet to be honest with you it particularly is not continuously the terrific concept to bounce from one concern to a diverse. i'm no longer asserting which you're a bad guy or woman simply by fact I in no way throw stones. specially simply by Glass dwelling house I stay in yet please think of approximately what must be if circumstances have been diverse you already know if neither one in all you have been married or what approximately 5 years from now. How long have the two one in all you been at the same time keep in mind that each physique horses are rapid out of the gate yet some issues could be properly worth salvaging. After somebody instruments their eyes on some concern new all previous issues lose a number of their luster in simple terms ask your self once you're waiting for a relationship, is this purely a fling, how will it end . Oh and keep in mind that for some it particularly is all appropriate to the excitement of the chase the slender escapes, is it no longer a change on that it is how that's. how will or no longer it particularly is after the secrecy is long previous. I hoe that none of this became offensive and that i wish you the terrific of success with your determination.
2016-12-12 15:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You turned your life over to God? If so then why are you even contemplating pursuing a married woman. I say that your wife and you have very serious discussion and start to change NOW, and I also say that you need to seek more spiritual help if you have turned your life over and are thinking of leaving your wife for another woman. Not a very Christian thing to do.
2007-01-19 06:12:08 · answer #3 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be so quick to give up on your marriage if I were you. Have you tried cutting her allowance so that she doesn't have any money to buy pot? Have you tried an intervention? Counseling? Have you talked to your pastor or a minister in your church? Have you tried talking to her family to see if they could also help you help her? There are so many things you can do other than falling in love with a married woman. You need to honor the vow you made and don't stop trying until you see a breakthrough. Your relationship with your co-worker is not helping either. It's only clouding your vision and judgment and making you believe that things would be much better with the her. I would stop communication with her immediately. She should also be trying to save her marriage and not trying to jump into the arms of a married man.
If after everything you could possibly do to save your marriage, it's still not successful, then I would say count your losses and move on. But I think you owe it to yourself and to your wife to try harder.
I hate to sound cheesy, but "What Would Jesus Do"?
God bless!
2007-01-19 06:26:04 · answer #4 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you found God!
1 Cor. 7:10-16 To the married people I give instructions yet not I but the Lord, that a wife should not depart from her husband but if she should actually depart let her remain unmarried or else make up again with her husband and a husband should not leave his wife but to the others I say yes I not the Lors If any brother has an unbelieving wife and yet she is agreeable to dwelling with him let him not leave her and a woman who has an unbelieving husband and yet he is agreeable to dwelling with her let her not leave her husband. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in relation to his wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in relation to the brother otherwise your children would really be unclean but now they are holy. But if the unbelieving one proceeds to depart let him depart a brother or a sister is not in servitude under such circumstances but God has called you to peace. For wife how do you know but that you will save your husband? or husband how do you know but that you will save your wife?
You should stop talking to the other woman and you do not have to suport your wifes habit. Put the money into an acount that she can not touch. Make it hard for her to suport her habit. Pray God can help you with this problem. I would also say you should keep in mind how God feels about Adulterers.
1 Cor.6:9-11 Do not be misled neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers ..........will inherit gods kingdom.......
If you read all of that you will see that it emphasizes the seriousness of the matter. Unrepentant adulterers will have no part in Gods kingdom.
2007-01-19 06:09:55 · answer #5 · answered by mrs.mom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
According to the Bible, God hates divorce. Malachi 2:14-16 You should break off your relationship with the married woman. Love your wife even though you don't feel like it. When God commands us to love one another, it's not optional. Maybe you need to take control of the finances so that she can not but drugs.
2007-01-19 06:02:06 · answer #6 · answered by brian b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not pursue a married woman. You are married yourself. If you are truly unhappy, get a divorce. Should your married object of your affection divorce also, then you're free and clear to pursue her. It's one thing that your marriage is not going well, but don't drag along someone outside your marriage. She maybe tempted to be with you, but she may not really want to leave her husband. And quite frankly, you have no business getting involved in that.
2007-01-19 05:51:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married your wife for better or worse. You need to stick by her and pray over her. You also need to cut off all contact with the other lady. If you are a serious Christian, you should know that God is against adultery and divorce.
When we have problems, it always look like the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I always say be careful what you wish for.
2007-01-19 05:52:04 · answer #8 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can never solve problems in one relationship by getting into another one. You need to either fix the relationship you're in now or get out. Your choice. But do not start a new relationship until you do - not fair to you or the other woman. And you know the saying is true - if he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. By the way, the same goes for the married woman you're seeing - she needs to resolve her problem one way or the other and getting involved with a new person will never do it.
2007-01-19 05:59:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have truly turned your life over to God, then what you are doing right now is wrong. Instead of praying and fasting for your wife's change which can happen by God's Grace, you've involved a third party and now considering pursing it all the way.
STOP now and fix your marriage.
2007-01-19 06:01:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay married and try to continue to work on it... The bible says that if she is pleased to dwell with you then you are not to seek to be loosed from her... Talk with the pastor of your church and pray about it and see what God wants you to do. You falling for another married person is wrong and sinful and you know it is adulterous.... Seek counseling and help for this.
http://www.marriagetoday.org
2007-01-19 05:54:53 · answer #11 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋