a week ago ...I was a bit stunned and didnt know what to say, I said oh Im sorry and left it at that.. I was wondering if anybody that has lost a love one would tell me what made them feel alittle better.. Is there something I can say instead of a blank look....
2007-01-19 05:38:32 · 8 answers · asked by GrassRootsRabbits 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My son was in a tragic car accident nearly 10 yrs. ago & he died just 3 yrs. ago. A few people said the stupidest things to me or they would ignore me or not mention his name, purposely. I believe that people generally mean well but lack skills in this area, so it's nice that you asked. It's ok to be surprised. Next time you see her, ask how she's doing, if you can do anything (if you intend to), let her know you're sorry & thinking of her (or praying, if you pray), don't ask details about the death unless she offers. That bugged me the most, people would ask me useless details about his accident, I wasn't there & I certainly didn't want to talk about the car etc. Just be gentle with her & check on her periodically. Usually people who have lost a child love to talk about that child, it helps them through the grieving process. Thank you for caring about her & caring enough to say & do the right thing. :)
2007-01-19 05:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by Forever 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I lost my mother, very suddenly and unexpectedly. When people found out the natural thing to say is "I'm so sorry if there is anything I can do let me know". Honestly nothing you can say or do will make her feel better only time. My mom was killed while responding to a routine domestic dispute and that was 3 yrs ago, I'm still waiting for the time that comes when I can think about her and not cry, or when I can stop feeling so much hate towards the man whose bullet caught her.
2007-01-19 13:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by **Damn its cold up here** 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the thing that I find, having lost a baby half way thru my first pregnancy, and more recently my father, is that it's important to let the person talk about them. It might feel awkward to listen to them reminisce, but it's their way of keeping them alive and making sure that people know that even though they are gone, they are still important. If you simply ask her how she is doing the next time you see her, and she opens up, don't cut her off, let her talk, it will really mean a lot to her. Other's feel so inadequate and awkward, but there really is no reason to. It's even OK to cry with them if their sadness moves you to tears.
2007-01-19 13:59:24 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've done the only thing that you could do at the time. When you see her in the future, ask her how she's doing and be open to what she has to say. (You don't want to get so uncomfortable as to make her feel as if saying her daughter's name is the same as cursing.) If she wants to talk about her daughter, listen - it's the best thing you can do.
2007-01-19 14:11:17 · answer #4 · answered by uksmartypants 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there are any magic words that will make them feel better. It's awkward and most people know that. A simple "Let me know if I can help" or "I'm sorry" is usually good enough.
2007-01-19 13:52:56 · answer #5 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my daughter and the best thing I heard was if there is anything that I could do for you just call and I'll be there. Another is that you will keep her in our prayers.
2007-01-19 13:48:14 · answer #6 · answered by ms.michelle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there really is nothing you can say that will make it better...just ask her if she is ok....you didnt do wrong when she told you because "i'm sorry " is the normal response...sometimes saying less is better than putting your foot in your mouth, or hurting people by bringing up painful situations...
2007-01-19 13:45:25 · answer #7 · answered by beachnut222000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did all that was necessary. Forget about it.
2007-01-19 13:50:42 · answer #8 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋