I have been dating a married man for over a yr and a half, whose wife knows all about us. she is supposed to be divorcing him but is still confused on weather or not she should because they have 2 small kids. he has been cheating before he met me but she still stays. i come from a family that went to church 3 times a wk and now that i am an adult i dont go as much. my dad says that my relationship w/ the married man will never work because God does not like divorce and the guy should work out his marriage, but doesnt God believe in mistakes? not everyone gets married for the right reasons and has what it takes to make a relationship work. i honestly think me and this guy are a better match then he and his wife and he says so too. so is divorce really that bad in Gods eyes?
2007-01-19 05:22:25 · 15 answers · asked by taurus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You adulterous whore. You will be going straight to hell!
2007-01-19 05:30:10 · answer #1 · answered by mvas800 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Either you're really messed up or this is a bull$#!t question. In the off chance that you're a real person asking a real question, I'll answer.
First, if you want some guy who is currently cheating on his wife and has cheated in the past, you're really naive. In that case, maybe you're right, maybe you and this guy are made for each other.
Don't expect good things to come out of any of this. You are involved in something that is just totally messed up. Take a few minutes to read what you have written:
> I have been dating a married man for over a yr and a half
Yeah, this is a real good idea -- not. Most women realize that this is not a good idea. Granted it doesn't stop them from doing it but most realize this.
> whose wife knows all about us.
So she has no self-esteem. Who marries a woman like that?
> she is supposed to be divorcing him but is still confused on
> weather or not she should because they have 2 small kids.
Right. So she wants her kids to grow up around an ******. Uhhuh.
> he has been cheating before he met me but she still stays.
Of course.
> i come from a family that went to church 3 times a wk
You must have slept through most of your religious training.
> and now that i am an adult i dont go as much.
It's not making you a better person now either.
> my dad says that my relationship w/ the married man will never
> work because God does not like divorce
Never mind that. The guy's a jerk -- and you're not too bright.
> doesnt God believe in mistakes?
Mistakes? How about the one you are making?
> not everyone gets married for the right reasons
Yes, obviously.
> and has what it takes to make a relationship work.
And most people are smart enough not to marry those people.
> i honestly think me and this guy are a better match then he and
>his wife and he says so too.
And I'll bet you're right. Sounds like you really are made for each other and that you deserve each other.
> so is divorce really that bad in Gods eyes?
I'm not sure why this would matter to you. Isn't it more important what is really bad in *your* eyes?
So it's okay to do stupid and even dangerous things that hurt others if you can first convince yourself that God is sold on the idea?
Good luck.
2007-01-19 06:13:32 · answer #2 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, YES, AND YES! For one the bible states that God doesnt wish marriage on anyone but if you choose to then you should honor it. The only time God says that divorce is okay is because of adultery. People also dont realize that the bible says that if a man gives a woman a certificate of divorce, he still can not remarry nor can she until the other is dead or else they are referred to as adulter and adulteress along with the people they do marry. So everyone just committed one big sin that God frowns on BIG TIME. commandments say do not covet your neighbors wife just cause it doesnt say husband doesnt make it any better. So not only will he eventually do it to you b/c obviously it is in in blood. He did it before he met you!HINT HINT! But more importantly, you ready to let someone like this decide your fate with God. Think about it long and hard. Yea you messed up already but it is not to late to ask God to forgive you. You can not ask God to forgive you and still break up a home whether it was broke before you or not. So in God's eyes divorce and adultery is serious.
2007-01-19 05:56:07 · answer #3 · answered by shay80800 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1 Cor. 7:10-16
Heb.13:4; let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement for god will judge fornicators and adulterers
Mal.2:15,16 You people must guard yourselves respecting your spirit,and with the wife of your youth may no one deal treacherously. For he has Hated a Divorcing
Rom.7:2,3 A married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is alive but if her husband dies she is discharged from the law of her husband. So then while her husband is living she would be styled an adulteress if she became another mans. But if her husband dies she is free from his law so that she is not an adulteress if she becomes another mans.
1Cor. 6:9-11 Do not be misled. Neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men Kept for unnatural purposes nor men who lie with men will inherit Gods kingdom. And yet that is what some of you were. But you have been washed clean but you have been sanctified but you have been declared righteous in the name of our lord Jesus Christ and with the spirit of our God (this emphasizes the seriousness of the matter. Unrepentant adulterers will have no part in Gods kingdom)
I'm sorry I couldn't find any place in the Bible that stated if you feel you have made a mistake you are free to cheat and leave your wife and family...
I wish the best to you and would hope you would feel a little compassion for his wife and kids.
2007-01-19 05:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by mrs.mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are a few reasons that God sees divorce as an option.
If either the man or wife is cheating or if there is abuse. There is nothing you can do to help, so DO NOT get involved or try and make him feel better with this knowledge. This is something that he needs to do by himself.
Also...you are dating a man that is impossible to trust. Good luck with that
2007-01-19 05:34:00 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Murphy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marrying the wrong person is unfortunate....and yes, it is a mistake, but CHEATING on them is NEVER the answer.
Your father is right AND wrong. Your relationship with this man will NEVER work. Not because God doesn't like divorce, but because this man is a no good dirty pig. He cheated on his wife BEFORE you even met him....does that send up any warning flags???? Do you really think you're going to love him enough for him to not cheat????? The only person this man loves is himself, its not you, its not his wife, and it certainly isn't his children,
So, do yourself a favor, get your head out of your butt and find someone that is decent and has some morals and integrity, this guy is a piece of crap.
2007-01-19 05:32:12 · answer #6 · answered by AmyB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your making excuses for his cheating and your own. don't ever think u will find happiness built on someone Else's misery, and destroyed marriage. think karma will come to u, and what u do to others will come back to u, sometimes in the very same way u dealt it out to the other person, so u will know the wrong u did to her. she still stays because she still loves him and has hopes he will come back to her. if he cheated on her before he met u, than u know what u got to look forward to the minute u disappoint him or he doesn't get his way. personally u should be the better person here, and get out of this, and go find someone who hasn't got all this baggage maybe someone with morals, maybe someone in your church. u don't go to church because u are out of the will of god, and feel the guilt.go to your bible and see what god says concerning divorce, doesn't say anything about being mismatched does it.
2007-01-19 05:44:06 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I to dated a married man and you really need to think this threw because if there is any chance of this marriage working and keeping the family together you need to step out of the picture because everyday i feel a little guilt for what i did and one day maybe carie can find it in her heart to forgive me, see you don't want to carry that kind of guilt around the rest of your life.
so step out of the picture for awhile and either they will get back together or divorce and then you will know your own answer
2007-01-19 05:47:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first you should not even be dating a married man as that is adultery adn God hates divorce and what it does to the family.... You should dump him and let him try to work on your marriage and you should try dating guys who are single and available and free to love and be with you. Thou shalt not commit adultery is one of the ten commandments and you know that. Also what makes you think that he will stay true to you if he cant even stay true and commited to his wife and kids now.
2007-01-19 05:43:36 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think you are going to get what you want and need out of this relationship? Why don't you find a man that isn't married with kids? What a homewrecker.
2007-01-19 05:49:26 · answer #10 · answered by NLH823 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only God knows the answer to that, besides, what difference does it make to you? Adultery is supposedly a big "NO NO" in God's eyes, so you've already gone and done that, so how can marrying a divorced man be any worse?
2007-01-19 05:33:18 · answer #11 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋