... i am falling in love with my colleague. I've been with my "husband to be" almost for 7 years, we love each other... but how can i stop myself thinking about the other man? i'm very frustrated about my selfish personality.
2007-01-19 05:13:39 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are you sure you're in love with this other man...or does the idea of being with someone besides your fiance make you have doubts? You've been with your man for a long time now, it's competely normal to have second thoughts and wonder what it would be like with someone else. Not just physically, but emotionally also. With your wedding coming up shortly you might just be having a case of cold feet.
This new guy you know at work so you probably only know him as a collegue, not as a friend, boyfriend or lover. What if out of work this guy is a complete creep? Is it worth losing someone you've loved for 7 years for someone might not completely know?
I've always been told " don't marry anyone you can't imagine taking care of the rest of your life". My grandfather is very ill and my grandma is still by his side, they've been married for 54 years, he won't make it to their 55th anniversary, she is by his side everyday taking care of him and happy to do it. Who do you see yourself taking care of at 75?
2007-01-19 05:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by SpaceyLacey 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you sure your falling for your colleague?
Perhaps after all this time together and you are
finally committing yourself to each other you are
getting a bit scared of the whole marriage thing.
It might be that you are looking for an excuse just not
to marry this man. How long have you been working
with this colleague? Perhaps you are feeling vulnerable
and this person all of a sudden seems attractive to you.
I think you should be true to your fiance and tell him that
you have been having second thooughts. It,s only fair to
him. Its obviously upsetting you so you must be going
crazy with worry. Sort it out. June is not far away.
Once the pressure is off to get married this will help.
2007-01-19 05:26:29 · answer #2 · answered by Minxy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How much do you really like this other guy? is it just a chemisty thing? A new and exciting feeling?? That is not love. That is just human. Don't give it more weight than it deserves.
If you really think you are in love with this other person, you HAVE to be honest with your fiancee. You cannot marry him thinking you are in love with another. The entire wedding will be painful, and the marriage (however it lasts) will be full of guilty feelings.
I am so sorry you are in this conflict! Good luck.
2007-01-19 05:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by queenie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you believe that you have some kind of character flaw "my selfish personality" then maybe you should seek professional help.
But you really should take a look at your current relationship. For instance, do you really want to be married to this man or was it just easier to say yes? Do you love him? Do you really want to make the commitment that marriage requires?
If you don't want to be with this man, than don't be with him, but don't fool yourself into thinking that you're falling in love with someone else, when really you're just falling out of love with your husband to be.
2007-01-19 05:19:55 · answer #4 · answered by AmyB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will only get worse. Tell your husband to be the truth and let him decide if he wants to marry you. You either try very hard to put your feelings aside and marry your husband or sort your feelings out before you make a decision that will affect the rest of your lives.
2007-01-19 05:20:39 · answer #5 · answered by shay80800 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to say that your fiance is not good, but you are settling and when push comes to shove you are not happy with him. You should not go through with the marriage.
You would not have started falling in love with a colleague if you were truly happy with your fiance.
Take care and good luck,
Troy
2007-01-19 06:00:45 · answer #6 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well stop for a minute and think about why you might be attracted to this man. Does he really have better qualities than your fiance?
It's likely you're just getting nervous because your wedding is coming up in a few months. I was a wreck several months before my wedding all the way up to the day before.
If you're really having doubts, talk to a family member or if you think you're fiance will understand then talk to him.
You might be surprised at his reaction. He's likely just as nervous as you are.
2007-01-19 05:18:58 · answer #7 · answered by L J 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to break off the engagement. If you can have true feelings for someone else, then your fiancee is not the man for you. When you love someone... you are blind to everything and everyone else. The fact that you have feelings for your co worker is a red flag that this marriage should not take place. End it now before the invitations go out.
2007-01-19 05:19:38 · answer #8 · answered by *Just Married* 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Time to get serious. Your getting ready to make a life altering commitment in June and your thinking about another man. Re-evaluate your feelings and then make the necessary changes. Are you really ready to get married?
2007-01-19 05:28:16 · answer #9 · answered by Peaches 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-25 20:36:05 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋