should you for the kids?

Question

i know this is wrong but i have been with a married man for over a year and a half now... (very long unbelievable story). he has not made up his mind on me or his wife. she knows about me and when put on the spot he will always choose me over her. he has told her too that i wants me, but he always goes back to her. this upsets me because im always stuck in this vicious cycle. i know he is selfish because in his perfect world he would have both of us. he never wants to choose and stick to his decision. he tells me that he knows he loves me more but can not leave her because they have two small kids. he says if i leave him he will still cheat on her because he only stays for the kids because he doesnt want to see another man raise his kids. should you only stay with someone for your childrens sake?

Answer 1

I am a single mom and I got married because of my kids and I stayed because of the kids and you know what it was the worst choice I ever made. you cant make something like a relationship work just because of the kids. It would be better for him to leave now that the kids are young, but still be in thier lives. As for you you need to be stronger as a woman and make your own choice and as hard as it is. you might want to consider your future

Answer 2

HELL NO!!!!! The kids are not kids for ever they grow up and they observe the environment and they end up loosing out on what could have been functional had their parents separated. It is more harmful for a child to see their mother cry at night and argue all day because she cant make it work with the father. If it's over then let it be, life is to short for you to keep trying to fix a flat.. Eventually you are gonna have to get a new tire. There is not enough patching in the world to support the weight of the pain and anger you will build up over time. Children do need both parents but they also need love and stability and if that is not present in the home THEY DO KNOW!!! whether it be at age 2 or age 12. My daughter was 2yrs old when I ended my relationship and she was my reason. She stood in the middle of me and her father and held her hands up to stop us from arguing and that was enough for me to see that although she could hardly talk she knew how to tell me to walk away...
Now this man made his decision a long time ago when he married his wife. You are his selfish pleasure, his wife is his convenience and his child is his excuse. Go find your true love and leave his selfish *** alone. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN SOMEONE ON THE SIDE..... GOD BLESS BABY

Answer 3

Dear Taurus,

You are able to spell pretty well. Your use of the English language shows you are not without a brain, and yet.... you persist in trying to stay in a relationship that brings you no security or happiness. You stay in a relationship and are causing another human being and her children great anguish.

This is one lucky JERK you are with - he lies to you and he lies to his wife. Why are you acting so idiotically and staying with him? Why do you not see that you have no happy future with him? Pack. Move. Don't look back.

You were wrong to take up with a married man in the first place and will be very lucky if the same thing doesn't happen to you. You won't like being on the other end of the stick, either.

Answer 4

You said that in a perfect world he would have both of you. Well he does. That man will say whatever he has to just to make sure his world stays this way. If I was you I would get as far away from this man as soon as possible. Nothing good can come of it. The unfortunate reality is that the kids will untimately suffer anyway. Keep in mind that what he is doing to his wife and kids, he will no doubt do to you.

Answer 5

The only kid he is thinking about in this picture is himself. See what your doing is called adultery..I'm not writting to put you down..but the things that the Bible calls sin is there for a reason...Those big scary sin words are things that will hurt you. what makes you think that if he would commit to you and even marry you that he would treat you any different that he does his wife....See you will always be the other woman when he is with her...and she will always be the blah wife.....has been when he is with you.....he is using you her and the kids....in fact use a little humor...maybe what he needs is a kid...go to a barn yard and get him a goat..since he likes to butt every body around ......God loves you. When you understand that...you will drop his sorry butt and go onto what you were meant to be.......he is no fun...sure it will hurt at first to tell the man your leaving but....it will feel so much better to get out of this crazy cycle he is in....

Answer 6

I can tell you from experience, it can only hurt everyone involved to stay in an unhappy relationship. Ultimately the kids will suffer for the actions of the parents.
And ,as far as your lover, he doesn't love you at all. You have become a convenience for him. He wants his cake and eat it too. it would be far better for you to find an unattached man to be with.Save yourself the heartache of waking up one day and finding out all his stories about leaving his wife were lies.

Answer 7

He should not stay for the kids. If he does this will hurt the kids more than them splitting up. Children learn how to be married by watching their parents and it sounds like these kids are not learning what they should be. Fighting and fussing hurts the kids more than daddy moving out. If he really wanted to put them first, he would end the relationship.

Answer 8

Are you kidding me? Family's important, the most important thing in the world for his kids. And here you are going around ruining families & marriages. How selfish a person you must be.

I'm starting to think that people these days don't take marriages as seriously as they used to.

Shame on you.

Answer 9

Woah, I thought you were going in a totally different direction. Uh, but since you only asked about staying in it for the kids, here's my advice (from experience)

That charade will only last so long, eventually the children will grow up and realize what's going on in their parent's marriage. Parents rarely give credit to their children's intelligence and abilities. Ultimately, more harm will come to his beloved children from him living his life this way......

Answer 10

I think this is a cop out on his behalf . He is useing his kids to stay with his wife and you . Wake up ! There are more fish in the sea and the right one might be waiting for you .