he won't have sex with me he sleeps on the couch alot...he says tons of mean things to me and when we are playing aroundhe thinks its okay to spit on me. i have asked him if there is someone else and he says that there is not buthe seems to me like he hates me even thought he says that he loves me...what should i do?
2007-01-19 05:04:14 · 23 answers · asked by toogie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like it is time to call in the divorce lawyers. Any man that spits on you has no respect for you. If he tells you "tons of mean things" he is verbally abusing you. It's time to get out. He has the potently of turning into a physically abusive man.
2007-01-19 05:08:59 · answer #1 · answered by c.s. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I am not a therapist, but it sounds to me like you both need to get into marriage counseling NOW. If he won't go with you, please go to a psyhologist or a psychiatrist as soon as you can. You can call your local mental health association to get referrals. Spitting is an EXTREMELY hostile act, and sounds WAY WAY WAY off base to me. The fact that you are allowing that type of behavior says you have some major issues about your own self worth and value as a person. If that is where you are at, that's O.K., but I think you need some serious help, FAST.
Good luck. I know this is a dificult and emotionally painful time for you. But please take some positive action so your life can turn around for the better, whatever you decide to do in regards to being involved with the man you are currently married to.
2007-01-19 05:12:06 · answer #2 · answered by Alice laughing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention how long you've been married but from past experience and what you have told us he doesn't respect you and it possible that things could escalate to the point where he is hitting you. In fact abuse usually starts this way. I have a question for you, do you think that you respect yourself? Have you told your family & friends what's going on? I think that you should go with your gut feeling on whether he's cheating on you. The deep down feeling is usually the right one no matter how much we don't want to believe it. I think the answer to your question is the way this marraige is headed it will never last long term, you need to show your husband that you respect yourself and leave if he can't show you the respect that you deserve. Beleive me, I've been there! I hope I've given you the courage to do what you must do and make the decission that you must make.
2007-01-19 05:16:34 · answer #3 · answered by sweetjimsdad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest counseling or something. They way he's acting definetly isn't normal. Spitting on you is so disrespectful. He could be really really stressed out and if that's the case try to help him ease the stress.
My grandma always told me that if theres tension send the kids away and meet your husband at the front door wrapped in ceran wrap.
I've never tried it but I think you get the point. Make the effort.
Keep trying to get him to talk to you about what's going on and if it still doesn't change do some investigating.
2007-01-19 05:09:13 · answer #4 · answered by SpaceyLacey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should run as fast as you can. A man that loves you would never spit on you or be hateful to you and think it's okay. You need to leave before he becomes physically abusive.
2007-01-19 05:08:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spits on you and sleeps on the couch?
Hmmm, that's a tough one
Do you have any self respect?
Go find a nice guy who doesn't spit. Really.
2007-01-19 05:17:11 · answer #6 · answered by NoAnswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband may be using drugs. That's the story of my husband. He never spit on me (and better not), but staying out late, NO SEX, and constant nodding were good signs. Seek professional help, or talk with someone in your family. In the meantime, keep your eye on him, be careful! And if you can't stand it anymore, get out!
2007-01-19 05:35:24 · answer #7 · answered by JusMyOpinion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like a real jerk. That is verbal and physical abuse. Spitting on your spouse is not okay and it is extremely juvenile. Why the hell would you want him? He spits on you and says derogatory things to you and you want to have sex with him? You deserve better.
2007-01-19 05:08:22 · answer #8 · answered by buddhasgirl1220 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like to me he does have someone on the side. Hire a private investigator and see if there is someone else. Or borrow someones vehicle that he doesn't know and do it yourself. Either way, he is being abusive to you and you shouldn't take it. Sit him down and talk to him about it and if it doesn't change, you may want to move on. Life is too short to take a lot of crap. Good luck.
2007-01-19 05:11:02 · answer #9 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my husband spit on me, by the time i got threw with him... He would no longer be able to spit.....
He doesn't love nor respect you..
Find someone who will show you the real meaning of loving you!!
2007-01-19 08:55:01 · answer #10 · answered by ahg30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋