So here is my problem I have been dating my current boyfriend for about 5 months. The first 4 months were OUT OF THIS WORLD. I have never been happier, what I am starting to think was infatuation, obviously. 6 months before I started dating him I was in a TERRIBLE relationship with a man who brought out the worst in me. Emotionally abused me, etc. But here the problem lies, lately I have been dreaming about my ex and I don’t know why. Throughout our relationship I think I loved him but I also HATED him. I feel like my love for him was stronger than my love for my current bf. Is it because it was a jealousy filled/hatred love? OR is it because I actually loved him more and still have feelings for the asshole? I want to be with this new guy 4ever. He makes me feel good about myself and I love doing nice things for him. I dont know why I still think about him it has already been a year! This is my first normal/non-dramatic relationship is that why? I just want my ex out of my head 4ever!
2007-01-19 04:54:41 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You said it yourself. You don't know why you still think of him in that way. You need to find out what you want out of a relationship. Save you're current BF the anguish of having to deal with someone who has feelings for someone else. Because you don't know for sure who'll you'll be happier with, you'll be in this messed up frame of mind until you pull yourself out enough to figure out what you need from a man to be completely happy. Also don't' let the convoluted/confusing answers lead you in the wrong direction. It's not about finding out who you are. I think we all know who we are. We just don't always accept it. All you need to do is figure out what you want in a man and go after it. Remember, sometimes you need to communicate to someone what you need and not resent them for not reading your mind.
2007-01-19 05:12:53 · answer #1 · answered by godson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chrissy, It is so difficult for people to realize they need and deserve self-respect and love...often it is how we feel about ourselves internally that draws us towards abusive partners in the first place. Often you can look back at your own family system for clues and sometimes you cannot. You know parents that were emotionally absent, or parents who did not protect us, or did not encourage us, cause us to pick partners who will treat us poorly unfortunately. And even though a part of us knows they were the worse thing for us, sometimes we get drawn back into the abusive relationship. Also, if your family life when you were growing up was emotionally abusive then naturally, although you did not like that, it is familiar. And that is how things work in life sometimes. Old patterns attract us to bad relationships because they are familiar...and trust me only you can break the cycle of abuse. Infatuation, attraction is exciting, but then there is the day to day realities of life. But true affection, caring, touching with love...well you deserve that. Please consider getting into a bit of therapy. It would help you so much to clear up some stuff you may be harboring.
2007-01-19 05:19:38 · answer #2 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't try to be in a new relationship so soon after ending a prior one. You need to take some time for you and learn how to be independant. You might not love him you just love that feeling of being wanted.
2007-01-19 04:59:04 · answer #3 · answered by brandeeteer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's this book i'm readin. it tells about dreams and the meaning and influence to reality..if the issue is "that you dream about your ex and after that u are'nt sure about your feeling to your boyfriend but before that dreaming you were sure u love him.", than this is just u pushing yourself to feel thatway.
our brain does this and it hasn't anything to do with your feelings it's just that u are thinkin: why am i dreamin about my ex? u might think that this could be a sign?! but it isnt..!!
becouse people dream about :
1.things that happend (the past)
2.things that are happenin' (the present)
3.things that will become (the future)
but only a few people dream about the future..its more common to dream only about things that had happend and are happening (maybe that had happend today)
stop thinkin about what your dreams might mean, better enjoy the time with your boyfriend..
why would u need a drama-relationship?be happy your not anymore with your ex !!!
good luck
2007-01-19 05:21:25 · answer #4 · answered by samsamilya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time heals all wounds. Perhaps you should give yourself the time to heal before getting in to a new relationship. You will be a better person and a better girlfriend for having taken the time away.
2007-01-19 05:00:32 · answer #5 · answered by mopjky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it actual relies upon, reason my ex husband replace into coronary heart broken while we broke up and the subsequent element i know , he have been given married in under a three hundred and sixty 5 days while we broke up and he remains together with his contemporary spouse. that's been 25 years because of the fact this ensue. So ya something is conceivable.
2016-10-07 10:00:22 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋