my wife cheated?

Question

how to really make her feel sorry for what she did she is sorry i can tell but any ideas as to how i could really make her feel guilty and feel bad

Answer 1

Leave her...that's what I just did to mine and she is devastated. The harmful realities of her selfish behavior have finally set in.

Answer 2

Geex man, I can see why she cheated..you're a as*hole.

DON'T try to get revenge...DO confront her and tell her how much she has hurt you. DON'T keep holding this agaist her for the rest of her life, and DON'T use this as a control tool.

You should ask her why she cheated. Prolly because you aren't being a man or giving her enough attention. And in that, you need to ask her why she isn't properly "feeding" you. (example, taking care of your needs first, making you feel like a man ect..)

But it order to make our partners better, we have to change ourselves. Could it be that you are a slob and don't take care of yourself? If thats the case, go to a salon, go to a gym and change the way you look.

Maybe you smell...hey men stink sometimes, and so do women..
Use better hygene practices...

Perhaps you NEVER compliment her, tell her thanks for little stuff or don't appricat things shes does for you (cooking, cleaning, child care, bills, shopping...)
take a minute when you get home from work to thank her for he work that day.

Or maybe you're just a controlling as*hole. And if thats the case, then you should try to change that.


NOW once she see's these changes in you, l(or wahtever you've figured out) then she will feel sorry for the pain she has caused you. and chances are she will appologize and ask how SHE can be a better woman. And if she does that, you tell her. You be direct and tell her. And once she has asked forgiveness and you FORGIVE her, then you never bring it up again. Because once you have been pardonded for your sins, then you are clean.

Now if she does it again, then you need to leave. simple as that. That means she was NOT sorry for what she did, and is really a b*tch.

i know that is NOT what you wanted to hear, but maybe you shoudl open your mind and try a new outlook on this. Same wiht everyone else out there..

Answer 3

She's sorry and more likley than not feeling pretty guilty and pretty bad. Let it go or leave her don't pour salt on a wound. I have to say your question is pretty immature and it makes me wonder what kind of role you may have played in her feeling like she needed to go outside the marriage in the first place!! Not that I'm condoning cheating I'm just saying there is a problem and it probably goes a lot deeper than her infidelity maybe you should think about that. She messed up but who are you to cast judgement and shame on her who are you to punish her? Her own guilt and her own shame are her punishment. She answers to God and that is definately not you. If you can't get over it you need to leave her, if you stay you can't throw it in her face or say well you cheated on me now kiss my ***...... she is still a human, still your wife and if you want to keep her maybe you should start thinking about how to do that cause right now you don't seem to be doing the job very well!!!!!

Answer 4

You need to figure out what it is you want.

Do you want to salvage your marriage? If the answer is "Yes" laying a guilt trip on your wife will only cause more damage. Do something productive and try marriage counseling instead.

If you don't want to salvage your marriage, leave and get on with your life. I'm sure she already feels guilty and will for a long time. You have nothing to gain by trying to further punish her. Revenge is never as satisfying as it initially seems.

Answer 5

Now, women are quite good at feeling guilty and placating you with their hurt feelings, and you'd really be playing in her hand. She'll beat the hell outa you if you're silly enough to try making her feeling guilty and bad. You just want to move on and keep your mouth shut. It's the best way I know to have a cheater realize what they did, cuz' their pleasure is to hurt you badly.

Answer 6

Look, you have to make a decision if this is about healing or about revenge. If you want to make your marriage work and get past this, you and your wife must move towards the positive and not the negative. Decide what you really want, some marriages survive affairs and some don't. In any case it's always best to move on instead of dwelling in a poisonous environment. If you cant deal and heal, you better head out.

Answer 7

If you are more concerned about making her feel bad and guilty you have a bigger problem. She already feels horrible for doing it. talk it out in a calm manner. find out everything you need to know now. SHe should be hinest. once you know all the details you can start to get over it and heal. do not drag it out or try to make her feel worse. im sure she feels guilty wenough.

Answer 8

I am just going to say this...I know you must be very hurt...and I empathize with you, but two wrongs don't make a right! Either leave and move on with your life or forgive and forget, if she is truly sorry for her actions and then seek help from a marriage councilor. Good Luck to you!

Answer 9

Pack up, or throw her out and move on

Never TRY to make someone feel anything that is other than loved for it will only take time off of your life for the things you truly enjoy to do.

Just leave and don't ever talk to her again. What could be worse than that.

You know; you do have plenty of years left to enjoy yourself WITH ANY WOMAN. Even ones who don't cheat.

Answer 10

You could commit suicide. She'd be pretty gutted if you did that. I know I would and I'm not even a woman.

Seriously, don't be so vengeful or controlling like that. Accept that she is a little promiscuous. You have two choices: leave her because you are not the kind of man who prefers his woman to sleep with other man, or, you are the kind of man who loves her too much to leave her, which means, you have to accept this quality of her being.

Stop being so vengeful. I'm certain you must have thought, "I want what's best for my wife" right? What if what your wife wants is sex with other man? You want what's best for her right? Shouldn't that mean it's ok?

That being said, personally, I'd have to leave her because I need a woman who is loyal to me. I can only have sexual, non-committing relationships with females who are promiscuous.

I prefer one, happy, passionate one over the latter.

Answer 11

look everyone is answering kind of harsh, but from personal experience i know how you feel no matter how sorry they are you want them to feel the pain you felt.

now the real answer it is not worth it to make her feel worse, it is worth it to know that she is sorry and that you guys move on with your marriage. never speak of the moment again if you can do that i promise you that it will be much better.

if you dwell on it you will always think about it and not trust her and in time she will begin to hate you and you will be the one who really really hurts.

you said your vows now ask yourself did you mean everyone of them.