Hi all, how can you make your partner experiment more? The sex with my lady is great, but after many years it can get repetive and lack creativity. I bought some toys and some lingerie at christmas and it was used once then put away. I like to try new things and push the boundaries, but my partner is very straightforward in her sexual outlook. Is there a way to get reserved people to experiment more. I doubt there is to be fair, but hey, this site is as good as any to ask the question. :)
Cheers
2007-01-19 04:19:30 · 15 answers · asked by mickeyleon123 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You really tried, huh?
If you have been together a really long time, I guess part of it is simply embarressment. The only thing I could imagine to help, would be to keep talking, reassure her that you love her, and that you don't want to try something new because you are bored or tired of her, but because you want to keep growing with her. I can imagine that she sees things as if something is wrong, and it makes her uncomfortable. Keep talking before you whip out more stuff, reassuring it's just her...
2007-01-19 04:28:33 · answer #1 · answered by avechm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sexual preference and taste is a matter of conditioning, experience, desire, sex-drive, stamina, and moral upbringing. There are no two people who ar exactly alike! You can't make anyone do anything they do not feel comfortable with.
There are many subtle ways of coaxing your partner into trying new things. Have you ever watched porn with her? Have you vocally fantasized with her during lovemaking? Have you started off gradually when you try to introduce a new practice into your sex life?
Women perceive and practice sex on a whole different level than we do. They are stimulated verbally. We are stimulated visually. Women like to be romanced. We like the good old 'wham bam, thank you ma'am'. Try placing yourself in her shoes of perception and be a little more romantic, especially in your speech pattern. Kindly suggest that this or that sexual practice will enhance both your lives. Whisper sweet somethings in her ear and watch her become more receptive.
2007-01-19 04:44:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As lots of people have already said.. you can't make your partner do anything she doesn't want to do. She needs to feel comfortable in doing what you would like her to do.
Have you tried watching erotic movies together, bathed or showered together.. perhaps given her a sensual massage?
Women like to feel special. Why not take her away for a special weekend, relax together and let things happen naturally.
When I was married to my ex, he was interested in experimenting, but I wasn't.. He pushed it too often and now we are divorced. I have a new lover and I thoroughly enjoy experimenting with him.
I hate to say it.. it took a different guy to make me interested.. I hope it's not the same for your partner.
Good luck.
2007-01-19 07:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by bty704613 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The better you make her feel the more open she should become , most women love attention so spend more time on her with the toys and tell her you are doing this for her and she may become more open but don't ever ask her to do something she is not 100% comfortable with.
also the better you treat her outside the bedroom the more she will enjoy the bedroom, don't forget to tell her you love her and take her out for a little romance from time to time.
DJB
2007-01-19 04:33:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
its good that you are trying out new things though you have many years now in your marriage, i just hope your wife apprecioates your efforts and respond well. just try to take her to new places where you have both never been and try out new things there, also try to influence her to read some books or magazines on techniques of spicing up sex in marriages. maybe you can leave one such magazine deliberately in your bedroom and make sure that she will see it and i am sure she will be curious enough to open it.
People dont realise that sex is the most important thing in a marriage and they take for granted their sex life and realise when it is too late that they could have ng about it. wish you the best my buddy.
2007-01-19 06:45:58 · answer #5 · answered by Ayati 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mickey, with respect, you cannot or should not make your partner experiment more unless they themselves are entirely comfortable. You can make suggestions and, if you don't push the issue, your partner might come round to the idea of trying different activities. But remember we are all different and that should be respected.
Best wishes Mickey, J
2007-01-19 04:26:17 · answer #6 · answered by sirjulian 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your right, if you aren't' interested in making your sex life more interesting then it's not going to happen.
The only thing you can do, is ask and keep trying, but if you push too much, you might not get anything at all.
May be you could try dressing up and try some things that she might like more. Play on what turns her on, and not on what turns you on. Sex is a two way street. Maybe is she realizes that you are trying to please her more, then she might relax more.
2007-01-19 04:26:42 · answer #7 · answered by Dale 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't put pressure on her. Many women will resist if you are constantly talking about sex. Do consider her upbringing as well.
She may feel like you want her to be slutty or something that she was taught was negative and good girls don't do those things.
So again ease up, make her feel comfortable and introduce things slowly .
Good luck.
2007-01-19 04:28:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Discuss this with your partner and see if there is anything that she would like to try. If not try variations on the same theme. Same positions different places.
2007-01-19 04:26:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no way unless THEY want to "experiment". I'm one of those reserved people, and it would get very tiresome if someone kept wanting to "experiment" on me. I wouldn't go for it.
2007-01-19 04:27:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋