They have been divorced for more than 5 years & they stiil talk & exchange birthday & Christmas gifts! This really hurts my feelings & I really want to be close & get along with my in-laws but I just cant. I am trying but they are making it so hard! They talk about her all the time & his father still has a picture of her in his wallet! My husband has tried to talk to them & get them to stop talking to her because he doesnt like it either but nothing has changed & it is really tearing me up inside! Should I just ignore this? Please Help!
2007-01-19 03:54:30 · 11 answers · asked by She is Beautiful! 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That sucks! But don't let it get to you. That's why people rarely like thier In-laws. Be glad that your husband is on your side on this one. As long as both of you have made your feelings heard, there's not much you can do except let it go.
I'd avoid them intentionally so they know exactly how you feel. Man, my heart goes out to you for sticking in there!
2007-01-19 04:38:25 · answer #1 · answered by DeanPonders 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son has also been divorced for 5 years. My husband and I live with my ex daughter in law and her new fiance. We are also very close and always will be. BUT. That doesnt make me like my sons girlfriend any less. Plus the girlfriend is 4 months pregnant and I am over the moon about it. I have a different relationship with the ex and with the girlflriend. You can be close to the in laws but just remember your relationship with them, will be different. Dont compare, as we are all different. If there are kids involved (there are with us), then it makes life so much easier. He has chosen you, so dont feel threatened. I hope I am making some sense.
2007-01-19 04:03:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is such an amazing woman why don't they just adopt her?
Blood is thicker than water, and they are disrespecting their own son and you, his new wife,
In my opinion, an ultimatum is in order.
Your husband must tell them in no uncertain terms that it's either they can keep his ex in their lives or him. If they continue with this nonsense he should cut them out of his life for a while and tell them that any future grandchildren will never know their grandparents, so they should hope that this beloved ex reproduces soon. Let's see what happens when it's down to the wire. sometimes you have to draw the line and be very firm about it. what they are doing is utterly unacceptable.
2007-01-19 04:12:02 · answer #3 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is not hard to imagine from what you typed that you have not been embraced by the family the way the first wife has.
My eldest daughters first real boyfriend is still a friend of the family. We see him as Chad our friend not as Chad our daughters ex. We are sorry that things did not work out for them but we all adore him he and my oldest boy often goes fishing with him.
Our relationship as a family with Chad has nothing to do with our daughters fiancee and I would hope he would not fault our daughter for this.
2007-01-19 04:04:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband should agree that any visit that is made to his parents will be once a year and they can pick the day. You don't have to put up with them. You married their son not the parents. Start your own life with your own circle of friends because it looks like it will never change with the parents and you should not suffer because they are being insensitive.
2007-01-19 03:59:47 · answer #5 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just cant move on with life. They are always looking at the past. you need to change your focus and enjoy your marriage with your husband. When your in laws are around and bring up the subject talk try to change the subject and talk about something great you are doing together.
Don't try to force them to change, change yourself.
2007-01-19 04:01:57 · answer #6 · answered by xxgq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand up as a united front both of you. That this is not acceptable in your home. If his father and step-mother can't respect your wishes then tell then to go visit the ex and don't bother with the two of you. You can't control their actions only your own.
2007-01-19 04:55:07 · answer #7 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with you. She is not the one in the picture anymore. You are. Sometimes relatiomships are like this. I actually had a situation like this and ended up meeting the ex at a family funeral, and we liked each other a great deal. She was so much like me it was weird. Hubby and I later went to her city and she hosted us at a local festival. You can't fight it so might as well go with it.
2007-01-19 04:00:30 · answer #8 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should ignore it and talk to your husband about putting some distance between you guys. If and when you visit and they start up about her your husband should say something right there and then, and if they can't be respectful of you then without much fanfare you and your husband should leave.
2007-01-19 03:58:33 · answer #9 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to sound harsh but it should only matter what goes on between u and ur husband.
they were friends for a long time but i agree they should maybe try avoid talkin about her when u and ur husband are around
2007-01-19 04:00:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋