I live with my boyfriend and have for about 16 months. We have been together for just over 2 years. I used to be really insecure and worried about what he was up to so he stopped going out for me. Then, we had a lovely few months where we both happy and it was great. Now, I am unhappy and I think I want to leave. I want to go out with my friends and have some freedom back to do what ever I want...(I know that's shitty cos I stopped him doing it) I also want to just be by myself cos I never have been. We have a few months left to live where we are so I will have to pay rent whether I'm here or not so cannot afford to leave now. What do I do? The longer I stay the more I feel like I am lying to him and don't want to do that....
2007-01-19 03:32:17 · 16 answers · asked by Violet De'ath 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry forgot to add....
He's never taken me out, ever and seems to have no interest in doing so. We had a "chat" about all this last October and he siad things would change and they haven't. Also he doesn't ever wanna do anything in bed with me as he said I'm always tired (which I'm not) and whenever I come on to him he just kinda shrugs it off.
2007-01-19 03:38:13 · update #1
I'm 26, he's 2 yrs older. Neither me nor him can afford the rent alone so if either leaves they'll have to keep paying so wouldn't be able to afford rent elsewhere
2007-01-19 03:40:28 · update #2
Walk away, follow your heart.
2007-01-19 03:36:17 · answer #1 · answered by Gsplan 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you have the answer in your heart and words but are afraid to take action. You are feeling more about what he will feel more than your own feeling if you have expressed your feeling to him once before and there still is no change then there will never be. Some people are just not compatible? I was in a marriage like this after 8 years I felt lost and wanted out and i had to kids to worry about also. I will say after I made the decision to leave and knew I would be OK financially things are great. Is the single life really what you want do you love him but not in that special way? Do you want to be yourself and on your own without him being he has already stopped the sexual activity. Ask yourself and answer those Question. I'm sorry if he is not having sex and you want to go out with friends you are looking for a different non restricted lifestyle and you should do just that. If you are unhappy and think about moving on more that 70% then you have your answer your not married or engaged Do what you already know~
Good Luck!
2007-01-19 03:53:56 · answer #2 · answered by vcaring 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you really feel. If you clear the air and both decide to split when the few months are up you both know where you stand. It sounds like he may feel the same so if you talk about it and decide the split is for the best you can then be friends during the time you are still living together.I know it will be hard to do but you will feel relief when you have done it. You will then both be able to plan and concentrate on the future. Good luck.
2007-01-21 21:27:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to call it quits! You may try simply redefining your 'arrangement' as being 'roommates' instead of bf/gf. That would settle the financial side of things, and give you both back your freedom to have the life you want even if it isn't with each other.
It just plain is not normal not to want to go out with your partner OR have sex? C'mon...someone is a coward here. "There comes a time you gotta stop complaining, and start asking for what you want." (Dr. Phil McGraw) and I think your time is NOW.
2007-01-19 03:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by stongc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just have to up and leave if your not happy...you may not get the deposit back that you paid when you moved in but that will cover the rent loss, you can always start looking for a new place on the internet....(gumtree) is a good way to start, they will have reasonably cheap places in your area, take a look it might be worth it...see your landlord or your council officer and ask about the deposit...it could cover the losses...don't stay where your not happy....just move out and get your life back...having your own place is great,
2007-01-19 05:45:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You awakened.
Now you see the world; what you're missing. You now wish to spread your wings...do so. Soar to the heaven...the limits in you.
Live your life as you wont. Afraid of constraints? They are but momentary obstacles meant to be vanquished. You will find a way.
When you are up there looking down...you'd be where I am. It would be interesting to know what our hearts and minds eyes be seeing differently!
Anyhow...We live but once...remember that.
2007-01-19 04:51:17 · answer #6 · answered by McDreamy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just open up to him in a subtle manner. Dont wait for an argument to escalate and then tell him what your problems are. Tell him honestly and both of you should try to sort out a solution.
Good luck.
2007-01-21 01:40:50 · answer #7 · answered by Macky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about how you feel. The two of you need to go out with your own friends and not spend every moment together. I think that's wrong. If the two of love each other work it out.
2007-01-19 03:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by Chloe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youve got to ne honest with yourself and him. People change, you dont mention your ages, maybe you have both outgrown each other. Will he insist on your payment towards the rent if you are no longer there. You must talk to him and tell him your concerns.
2007-01-19 03:38:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd have a chat with him and tell him how you feel. It may be that he wants his own space aswell but has been afraid to tell you cos you 'stopped' him having his.
If nothing is resolved after your chat and a trial period, then leave.
2007-01-19 03:38:17 · answer #10 · answered by dadn33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be truthful with him. If you mutually agree that its not working, you can continue to live together as friends and each go out and do your own thing until the lease is up.
2007-01-19 03:37:23 · answer #11 · answered by HowdyThere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋