I suspect that my girlfriend is trying to get pregnant without me wanting her to. I honestly think she is poking holes in the Condoms and She has stopped taking her birth control pills. For example the other day right before we were about to get intimate I went to get a condom out of my drawer and she interruped me and said "wait I have one" I mean she had to leave the room just to get it...And then she lied to me saying she was still on birthcontrol but I know she hasn't been taking it because I checked. Her behavior is really worrying me. We have talked about a baby and I know that its just not the right time. I might get deployed again and I don't want to miss any part of my childs life. Plus we have only been together a year and I don't think thats long enough. I think it would be better if she finished college and I finished the military. I have honestly thought about breaking up with her because I can't deal with a person who thinks so irrationally. What should I do?
2007-01-19 02:11:00 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If she would go to great length to do something this underhanded in setting your life for you you don't need it. I would not trust her and were there is no trust this is not a foundation for a longterm committment. I would use my own condoms until her behavior has changed.
2007-01-19 02:40:27 · answer #1 · answered by what gives 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in the military. That is a scary thing to the woman who loves you.
Have you tried sitting her down and asking her how she is feeling? If you are a military man, maybe she is fearful that she could lose you forever. Maybe she feels that having a baby by you is the only way she can successfully keep you alive.
If I were her, that is how I would feel. I would be shitting my pants worried that one day you might not come back to me, I would be scared that maybe we won't life the American dream with the pretty house and all the children running about. I would be fearful that one day you might not come home to me, and I will have lost you forever. Being inside my heart isn't always enough.
Although I would be more wrapped up in trying to break your kneecap so you can't be deployed over trying to get pregnant.. but I am sure you understand what I am saying.
Talk to your girlfriend. Be kind, and warm, and loving. Girls react better to a man being kind and warm then a man being demanding. Set the scene to be comfortable, and ask her. Kindly tell her you know that she's stopped taking her pill, and that you've noticed she has not been herself lately. Tell her you love her (you do love her right?) and that you are concerned about her, you want her to be happy and you want to understand what is causing her to act out of character.
I wish you all the best. I hope everything turns out well.
Don't break up with her until you understand what's going on inside her heart, that too would be considered irrational. If you are afraid she is trying to conceive, maybe hold out on sex until after you have your heart to heart.
2007-01-19 02:22:55 · answer #2 · answered by Samantha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Maybe she is being a little irrational, but she's probably just scared about you being deployed and wants to have a baby just in case you don't come back. That CAN make a woman act irrationally (not all women react like that). Sit down and talk to her again. When you do, try to be sensitive to what she may be feeling. Don't let anger or other negative emotions control your conversation with her. But be honest. Put all of your concerns out on the table ... even your suspicions about what she's doing.
Abstinence is the only 100% effective means of birth control, but if you MUST have sex, use your own condoms.
2007-01-19 03:08:41 · answer #3 · answered by K H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It takes two to make a baby. If you really don't want one, ya gotta stop sleeping with her. Besides, birth control is not 100%, so you have been riskig pregnancy for a while anyway.
Some women get a bug up their butt and decide they want a baby NOW! If seh is one of those women, and you just are not there yet, I think you two need to have a long, serious conersation, and not when you are horney and she's upset.
Raising kids isn't easy, and its alot harder with a single parent. I think she needs to really be aaware about how you feel about that.
And if she is going behind your back and sabotoging birth control, thats not right, is disshonest and immature.
2007-01-19 02:53:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
I think my girlfriend is trying to get pregnant without my consent?
I suspect that my girlfriend is trying to get pregnant without me wanting her to. I honestly think she is poking holes in the Condoms and She has stopped taking her birth control pills. For example the other day right before we were about to get intimate I went to get a condom out of my drawer and...
2015-08-06 01:46:55 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I think you are very wise for not wanting to have a child since you are in the military. I have been in your shoes but the other way around......In 1994, my daughter was going to turn 4, I did not want anymore children because my divorce was so painful. I met a man, got involved and he was obsessed with having a son!!!!! I was on the pill and got pregnant anyway and never thought anything of it until our son was about two, when he admits to getting another pack of pills way back then and tampering with them to throw me off and THAT was how I got pregnant "on the pill". I was SO pissed and he was confessing this to me because he wanted ANOTHER child and said he would do it again to me if I did not agree to having another baby. Needless to say, I left him and got a divorce. I was so hurt and felt so betrayed that I can sympathize with how you feel. I love my son dearly and he looks JUST like his father so that is a constant reminder to me of his betrayal, so .....you better think about how desperate she seems and if you really love one another, she will not betray you and you should be able to talk to her and if you two cannot, I would suggest breaking up before an innocent baby is involved and you WILL resent your girlfriend and even though you wont mean to, you will carry some of those feelings over to your child, it is only human. I wish you the best of luck in your situation, and atleast you have an idea of what is going on and have the option to prevent it, better than being blindsided!!!!!!
2007-01-19 02:47:06 · answer #6 · answered by mommy2ekn2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have got a pretty terrible situation there. If she doesn't understand your situation when it comes to being ready, she's not willing to compromise and doing it anyway?? You might want to have a really important talk before you get deployed again. You have to be able to trust her while you are away. This doesn't look like it will work out. But if you have to, insist you use your condoms and don't make her leave the room to get hers. Hope it works out for the better!
2007-01-19 02:25:57 · answer #7 · answered by Laurali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's refreshing to see that at least one of you are thinking with a clear head in this situation. It sounds like your girlfriend is definitely trying to pull the wool over your eyes.It is abnormal behavior for her to insist on bringing you a condom that was in another room, when you already had access to one in the room you were in. You also said you checked her pills and she stopped taking them, but she lied to you about it. She obviously is making plans for you to impregnate her.
You should stop having sex with her and talk to her about this. You could continue to sleep with her and use your own condoms to ensure they haven't been rigged, but that would be playing along with her childish games. Don't play this game with her. You seem very mature and responsible, so confront her with all that you've told us. Tell her you feel uncomfortable having sex with her. Tell her you know she isn't taking her pills and that you are refusing to have sex with her until you are reassured that she is on the same page as you about not having children.
Trust your instincts and if you still suspect she wants to actively pursue having a child, then follow your own advice and break up with her. I know that is easier said than done, but honestly it's not just for your sake, it's for the sake of the child. Children should not be born under these circumstances (one parent possibly being depolyed, other parent still in school, neither parents married). It is very selfish of her to rush into this. The two of you will have plenty of time in the future to pursue a family.
2007-01-19 02:36:00 · answer #8 · answered by Betty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop having sex, or only use your condoms! Talk to her about the fact you are not ready for this! If she wants a baby, then she needs to find someone who is ready to marry her first and want these things! You do not sound ready to settle down like that yet! If you are who she wants, she needs to be patient and respect your feelings!!!!! You both need a long talk! If you don't do this, you are going to be tied down forever, maybe with the wrong woman and then you'll have big problems for sure!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck!!
2007-01-19 02:23:27 · answer #9 · answered by whoa,3boys! 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and if that doesn't help. Cut her off. If she cant be honest with you then you can do better than that. A relationship is suppose to be built on trust, not lies and mistrust!! Good luck and I hope I helped. Also do something like, I bought this to try and be real sexy about it and have it be like a lube with spermacide or just a spermacide in it and see whats she says to that. Try and be tricky but push things like that. Good luck and thank you for fighting for our freedom.
2007-01-19 02:19:35 · answer #10 · answered by kristin h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋